High Plains Thrifter

How Party Rock Anthem Saved My Life*

2012-02-09T20:29:00.003-05:00

Before we get too far in to this post, watch this. Go ahead. I'll wait.

OK. Did you watch it? Did you see all the dances in there? People focus on 'The Shuffle' throughout that dance, and yes, it does play a major roll in that video (it's pretty much the go-to move).

25 years ago when I was in shape (and dancing all the time), we called that the Running Man.

There are actually quite a few 'old-school' dances in the video. To name a few:

The Running Man (a.k.a. the Melbourne Shuffle)
The Worm
The Kid-N-Play
The Moonwalk
The Tom and Jerry
a section from "Thriller" (the Zombie dance)

And I could do most of them. 20-25 years ago. I danced those dances (and others) every week at Flamingo Isle...and school dances...and my room. Point is...I knew the dances and had no shame in busting them out whenever the mood or music struck.

Enter 25 years later. Add about 150lbs. (in high school I weighed about 185....this past October I tipped the scales at 330).

I heard Party Rock Anthem for the first time about a 6-8months ago and was blown away. It was the quintessential dance song. Had all the synthy-smartness of today's dance tracks and such a stupidly Old School feel that I went mental over the song.

And then I saw the video for the first time and was absolutely gobsmacked.

I knew all those fucking dances.

All.

of.

Them.

So...next time I heard the song at my local watering hole, I was called out to the dance floor like Jason's Argonauts.

And I busted the hell out of those moves.

For 2 minutes.

For the remaining 3 minutes of the song, I went into funky-but-decidedly-less-cardio-stressing moves. Don't get me wrong...I still looked good and rocked the shit out of it, but it was WAY tuned down.

The song ended and I rushed outside for fresh air. I was pretty sure that the little face-huggers had visited me in my sleep and I was about to give birth to a very ugly alien bursting out of my chest. Either that or my heart was sick of being in my chest and wanted to see what the outside world was like.

Either way, the shit wasn't good.

At all.

So...I gradually tried working up my endurance...but really could never make it fully through the song without wishing for death. And if there was another old school jam on right after it, fuggedaboudit.

Enter a couple of friends of mine with information on a lifestyle change...a program...a nutrition overhaul. It had a 24Day Challenge element. I bit. I knew I needed something.

So I did the challenge. Started on November 14th. Which put it squarely through Thanksgiving. Not my smartest move...but I figured that if I could make it through the most gluttonest holiday of the year, that the rest would be gravy..so to speak.

And I made it. I think I lost about 13 or 14 lbs on the challenge. Which is not an amazing number to some. But to me it was HUGE. It was the scale going in the right direction.

A few weeks ago I started exercising too. So now...I'm eating a hell of a lot healthier than I have in...well...ever. And I'm riding my stationary bike every morning. I walk too and from the bar most fridays and saturday nights (hey..small victories).

But that's not the coolest thing.

It's been about 3 months since I started this journey.

And I'm below 300 lbs. THAT, my friends, is huge. It's easily been 10...maybe 11 years since that was the case.

AND....(to me, this is even bigger)....the last few times I've danced to Party Rock Anthem at Brew-Stirs....I have NOT been winded. I felt good. I wanted to keep dancing.

I made it through the whole song...shuffling my formerly fat ass all over that dance floor.

And damn it feels awesome.

So...did Party Rock Anthem actually give me a cure for my lard-assedness?

No...but it was a hefty, albeit, unusual motivator.

I have an autographed picture that my sis-in-law got me of Redfoo. She doesn't know how cool that really is to me (well, she might know if she reads this). But it's cool because it's a reminder. A reminder that every day I'm shuffling.

Shuffling that lard ass away.

Peace

-Todd

PostScript:(I've been posting on Twitter with the hash tag of #nomorefattodd come along for the ride!)

Find me on Twitter

Talk to you soon!

Todd

PostPostScript: If you want to learn the 'routine' that they do after Redfoo and Sky Blu are turned in to Zombies, this is a pretty kick ass tutorial:

Alright now I'm done.

Have a great day, peeps!

78 Days of Little Things

2012-02-01T20:41:00.003-05:00

It's a bunch of little things. Really it is. If you haven't seen me in a while, it may seem like one big thing. But, really, it's a bunch of little things.

It's a couple of friends that knew how much I was screaming inside at the lardass that I'd become. And they cautiously offered something they thought could help.

It was a subtle change in diet. Drastic at first from the sudden fast food abstinence. But gradually it became a little thing.

It was shopping out the outer walls of the grocery store (where the non-processed, or lightly processed foods reside).

It was giving up pop. This was NOT a little thing. To be sure. At 6-8 cans a day, this was huge. But with the tools in the 24Day Challenge, there was no caffeine withdrawal headaches. And 78 Days later, I can honestly say I don't miss pop.

It's little things.

A comment here. A text there.

Little words of encouragement (that meant so much more than I can adequately express) on Facebook...or Twitter or via text. You guys tell me I inspire you....thank you, but you're getting the short end of the stick here. Without you cheering me on, this would have faded in to the background and become one more little thing I couldn't finish.

It was the little shift of the belt from the well worn hole, to the one just behind it that had never been used. And just recently the one behind that.

It's finding out my pants are too short because I'd been wearing them wrong. To be fair, my pant size has only gone down A LITTLE....but....the difference is...now I pull the pants up to my waist where they belong...instead of cinched tightly below my flopping stomach.

Little things.

4 little inches so far around my waist....3 little inches gone from my arms....2 little inches from my thighs. Little things. Hardly missed.

The 3rd chin...(as cute as it was)...gone. The second chin will be gone any day now, I can already see it's getting bored without its playmate.

Little things. There's an X in front of my shirts and underwear....it used to be followed by 2 more....and then an L (XXXL for those that need to visualize it...eww...sorry...didn't mean for you to visualize me in my under..shirt.)....somewhere along the way one of those X's decided to leave. Not sure where it went. Not sure I care.

Oh sure...on some shirts, it's still there. But they're not as tight as they were. They fit a little better now...a little looser.

Little things.

78 days of little things. Little pounds here and there. A 328.8 became a 324....and then a 320...318...315....310....304...300.....

little by little.

I didn't put all the weight on over night (but I know the year it started...I know the event that triggered it....I can outline in vivid detail the depression that fueled it...the anger that spurred it on...oh yes....all those negative little things that slowly but surely moved me in to the 'morbidly obese' category (ok..one doctor said 'morbidly'...the other said 'dangerously'...as though I was going to smash a small city of overdubbed foreigners sometime in the near future).

Nothing major.

Little things.

Little things like being able to just about be able to dance all the way through one of my favorite songs without my little heart wanting to jump out of my chest Aliens style.

Little things like being able to run up and down the stairs without feeling like my leg is going to spasm and seize up.

Little rides on the stationary bike...20 minutes...nothing major. It's not the tour de France in my basement. Just a little ride...on a device that for the last year or so made a quite lovely shelf.

And what's amazing to me throughout this journey (because I'm not where I need to be yet, but I'm a little bit closer)...but the amazing thing is that it's carrying over in to other areas of my life.

I'm a little less angry at the idiot drivers on the way to work.

I'm a little less inclined to engage in the water-cooler bitching.

I'm a little less likely to scowl as my initial response upon being greeted in the mornings (which are a little less harsh these days).

I started this with the idea of making a movie. That may or may not happen (I came across another movie on this journey (thanks to a little recommendation from a friend) that really just blew my mind...so I'm not sure if anything I made would be a copy of that or not...but I'm still keeping video journal entries along the way.

So...in the meanwhile, I'll be tweeting more (is that even still a thing?)...and if it's about my weightloss journey...this little trip I'm on...I'll hash tag it with #nomorefattodd (feel free to follow along @FilmDude71). Not sure how often I'll tweet, but it's another little change.

Speaking of little. I've carved a little chunk out of my goal. My target on this journey is to get down to 225 and then see if I want to get down to where the doctors say I'll be 'uber-healthy,' which is 185...we'll see about that)...so...328.8 to 225...that's a little over 100lbs.

I just checked..and I'm about 28% of the way to my goal. Just by making little changes...little adjustments.

And I'm not going to lie....as good as this feels now...I'm not stopping. I dipped briefly below 300 last week (I haven't seen a 2 at the beginning of my weight since Clinton was in the White House). So I'm not stopping any time soon.

I have a little bit more work to do.

Some little things to take care of.

But before I know it, I'll be there.

Stick around. Laugh with me...cry with me. I'm not going away anytime soon.

Well, not all of me anyway...just the extra part that I don't need to carry around anymore.

-AT

#nomorefattodd

#stopsopa

2012-01-18T06:29:00.004-05:00

If you care about your freedoms when it comes to being online, you should take a minute and read this:

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

A Thank You Note to the Photog Gurus in My Life

2011-12-31T16:41:00.006-05:00

This might get wordy...so strap in or skip ahead.

If you've seen my Facebook posts for more than 2 days in a row, you've probably figured out that my dream is to do photography full time, for a living...and to become a world class photog (with a Nat Geo cover shoot before I die).

Not sure how this next line is going to go over, but I'll say it anyway.

It's easy to get in to the photography game. The cost of entry has come way down. I have gear with capabilities/functions that 10 or even 5 years ago I would never have been able to even look at, let alone own. It seems that anyone with a DSLR can call themselves a 'photographer' (hell, that's pretty much what I did). And there are websites devoted to showing the follies of doing just that.

MASTERING the ART of photography, however, is something else entirely.

But I got lucky...in two ways, actually. The first is that I think I have an eye for the shot and knack of getting 'that' moment (time will bear out if this is actually true or not, so that's all the time we'll spend on that).

The second way is that I have been blessed...yes blessed with AMAZING friends who also happen to be photographers. I have some friends that are AMAZINGLY talented in the way that they write with light. There will be a day when my grandkids come up and say 'Granpop, is it true that you really knew such and such?' And I'll say "not only is it true, but they actually taught me about the art of taking pictures'. And their little jaws will drop as they run outside to play with their jetpacks.

With so many photographers coming on the scene, you would think competition would be fierce. And...it may be. But I'd never know it. And here's why.

These amazingly talented photographer friends that I'm talking about (who, yes, actually make money taking photos) are not my competition (and I'm not theirs). Instead of letting me flounder around as I re-discovered my love of photography, they took me under their wing. Taught me things. Gave me tips. Helped me grow in skill and confidence.

I can't tell you what a difference that has made this year alone. I feel like I'm not even the same guy behind a camera that I was even a year ago.

Dude...do you realize how huge that is? I read all the time of 'pro's in the field looking down with disdain at the newbies. And that baffles me. Maybe it's like that some places, but I have never really felt that. And any time I'm at a shoot where there are multiple photographers (public event or something of the like) or if my friends get a new camera and have questions...I do what I can to help them fall deeper in love with photography.

Because that's what happened to me. A handful of friends (at first), encouraged me...guided me...showed me through THEIR love of the craft just how much more I could do with photography and in turn stoked the flames of my love for photography.

It truly leaves me speechless. And I know that I can't repay them (hell, they may not even know how much they've touched me). All I can do is help light that fire and spread that love with someone who comes along and looks up to ME for that guidance (and when that happens, it kinda blows my mind, to be honest).

That's really what it's all about, isn't it? Doing something that makes your heart sing.

The culmination of this hit me full in the heart on December 10. I helped with the Help-Portrait event. And I was blown away. The gifts that were given were amazing. The sheer effort that went in to coordinating the Columbus event alone was mind blowing.

But that wasn't all. The level and caliber of the photographers there blew me away. These are guys that had their shit dialed in. Super talented and skilled. And I again felt like the total newb.

But it didn't matter. I learned so much from everyone that I worked with (or near) that I feel like I took a course on portrait photography.

It blew me away. And there was no disdain, condescension...none of that. Everyone was there for one goal. And to reach that goal everyone helped everyone else. It was awesome.

And for that, I am grateful.

I learned so much from so many people this year that I know to thank them all would be futile and I'm sure I'd miss someone.

But know this...if you are a photog...and we've shared that bond...there's a very good chance that I've learned from and been inspired by you at some point in my quest to make my dream real.

And for that I am eternally grateful as you have brought me one step closer in bringing the dream to life.

I hope that I can continue to learn from and be inspired by you in years to come. And I hope in some way I can pass on the gift and love you've shown me to others who may be in the same boat I was in.

Thank you.

Now let's go capture some amazing moments in 2012!!

Sugar High

2011-12-23T02:56:00.002-05:00

When I watch movies like Empire Records, I'm reminded that no one truly has their shit together. And that's a good thing to be reminded of because it makes me less inclined to want things in my life that don't really belong in my life.

I've already exceeded the "Nearly 3AM attention span FB post word length limit" so maybe this sentiment is better suited for a blog post.

Which brings us to now.

So in the flick there are young adults and the hip record store owner Joe.

And pretty much everyone's introduced with their little 'issues'...(some are just exposed later in the flick).

But everything works out. In perfect Hollywood Fashion.

All conflict is resolved...the record store is saved...the man is damned and credits roll.

There are a couple of moments in the film I truly love. Any dialog with Lucas. He reminds me of how I think people used to look at me when I would get philosophical (whew...good thing I don't do THAT anymore).

The other scene I love is where Gina sings lead in the Coyote Shivers song. I love THAT scene for a couple of reasons...1:It's a great version of the song (should have been recorded and put on the soundtrack that way)...2:You can actually see the terror in her eyes of performing in front of people....and then you see that give way to her actually realizing that a dream is coming true.

And that's a beautiful fucking thing.

I know firsthand what that feels like. As I look around and see the photography gear around me. And I see dupes of the prints that I delivered for a client. And I see the number of 'LIKES' on the TwistedZen Photography Facebook Page. And I see the words that people have left (of encouragement and thanks). It's pretty fucking clear to me that a dream is coming true.

And that my friends is a beautiful fucking thing.

The other thing that is awesome about that movie (which was the original FB status update and the start of this piece) is that you think that certain people have their shit together. You are led to believe that the people are envious of the traits of their co-workers. And then you find out just how un-together everyone actually is.

And that's usually my wake-up call.

See...I have a tendency sometimes to look at someone and be like 'wow....you have an amazing (fill in the blank....'life'....'bank account'...'career you love'..) wish I had something like that.'

And that, my friends, is the deathtrap.

We are not meant to compare our lives with others. Nor should anyone look to us for comparison. Inspiration, sure. Comparison? Never. No one will judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves. And because of that, if you get in to the comparison game, you'll know the right buttons to push to really wind up doing some damage to that person you're judging (which, if you haven't been following closely, is you).

A fellow photog friend of mine posted that he's got some open time tomorrow and wants to do a shoot. And he got replies from peeps wanting to model from him. And I'm like 'damn...wish I could do that'...and I caught myself. See...thing is, I CAN do that. But I'm not really ready to do that yet. One day I will be. So to compare myself and my situation to him and his, is just stupid. We're two different people.

And you know what else continues to blow my mind on a daily basis?? Since you're still reading, I'll tell you. It's when people come up to me (or email or message me) and tell me that they enjoy following my posts and my progress on making the dream come true. That it inspires them. That it has motivated them to seek out their passion.

Do you have any idea how flippin' cool that is to me? Pretty flippin' cool, let me tell ya.

I had an whole other direction to go with this post, but it's after 3AM and I'm tired. I already fell asleep whilst typing this (and finished it in my head), waking up to find that I was 10 paragraphs back. Bummer.

Anyway...I'm out.

Remember...dreams don't come true. You have to go MAKE them happen. And you are not better or worse than someone else--so don't compare yourself to them. It's never a worthwhile endeavor.

Dream Big or go the fuck home.

And remember, you never know who is watching you...so always be prepared to help a fellow dreamer along like someone ahead of you on the path reached back to help you move along.

Damn the man. Save the Empire.

Facebook Junkie?

2011-12-21T00:38:00.002-05:00

I think I'm somewhat of a Facebook Junkie. I suspect as my eating habits and exercising habits change, I'll wind up changing and/or conquering my sedentary addictions (at least that's the intent), but in the cold grip of a Central Ohio Winter, there seems to be nothing wrong with hanging out in front of the PC...playing Words with Friends, scrolling up and down the Facebook wall and pretending to 'catch up' on my 'friends' lives.

There are of course quotes around the words that are stark rationalizations.

I'm not catching up. I'm being a welcome voyeur. People post what they want people to see. And if by chance something gets posted to the public wall that was only meant for private eyes, these same people pray that they removed the post before too many of their invited voyeurs saw it.

And I do the same thing. Unlike the hyper-instant nature of Twitter...Facebook is feigned spontaneity. A good portion of my posts that seem like 'quirky' and 'off the cuff' are rehearsed in my mind before ever hitting 'The Wall.' Sorry. I'm not this funny in real life. Honestly. And when I do meet 'friends' on facebook. The first time in real life is often awkward. There's no space behind the screen to hide behind.

So...while I would like to think of many of my 'friends I met on Facebook' as also 'friends in real life,' the truth is, that's not a given. It's possible in real life you're an asshole and I'm a dick. But we both post some funny shit...comment here and there and oft times hit the 'LIKE' button (which really, for me, has turned in to the 'HEY, I READ THIS. GOOD TO SEE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE' button).

So, on a whim (no not really), I decided that while on vacation from work (which, lets be honest, is where many of us actually play on Facebook), I would take a break from FB. Keep my PC turned off unless I needed it (I don't--all my photo editing projects are done now) and I'd stay off Facebook for a week...just to see how things went.

And I got through nearly 24 hours away from FB. And as soon as I posted, I got called out by a couple of (in real life, too) friends. Which...was to be expected.

Because I wasn't really taking a hiatus. What I was doing was saying 'hey...I'm gonna take a break from posting every 40 minutes and just lurk...read what you guys all write without having to post, or think, or comment, or do anything but consume.

And FB really doesn't work like that. I mean...for some people it does. Some people can observe. I'm not one of them. Mostly because I can't keep my big mouth (fingers) shut...I have to respond. I have to see how many people LIKE what I say (which when YOU click the LIKE button, in my mind you've clicked the 'Todd, you're a fucking genius' button).

It's the way I'm wired.

And I saw a post from another friend who reached the conclusion that I had reached about a year ago--I'm really done with Facebook as an 'entity'...I mean, I want to try to cultivate the relations with friends in a REAL way...so I said about a year ago that I was fecking off for parts unknown. And many people popped up and were like...'dude...don't go..' I saw the same reaction on John's wall. And that's when I realized that sometimes the sum of the parts are bigger than the whole. John posts bible verses and inspirational stuff. He has no idea how many people that actually touches....when he posts, it's for him. So...he might be done with FB, but it's not a given that FB is done with him. I know how that feels.

Sure...I write some funny shit on FB...but you won't get to know me by any of that. You wanna get to really know me? Go back and read my blogs. Look at the things I take photos of. THATS how you'll get to know me. Or better yet, meet me at Brew'Stirs on a Friday or Saturday.

If you want a quick chuckle...a video that occasionally makes you laugh, or think, then by all means stick with the status updates. That's what they'll be used for mostly.

And really...that's all it can be. You see, I figured it out.

Facebook IS just like high school again. It's that quick hit of someone as you pass them in the hall. Occasionally you see the cut-out photos from Teen Beat taped in their lockers, but what you know of them is just what you see for the 3 minutes between classes. Purely circumstantial.

And that's probably what's bugging me. You may not know this, but there was a lot about High School that I fucking hated. HATED. But that's a story for another time.

Point is...the me that's on FB...that isn't the real me. That's the 'I'm here to make you laugh because I believe laughter can change the world' me.

I haven't figured out how to reconcile that split yet.

But I'm tryin' real hard, Ringo.

Reflections

2011-12-20T00:28:00.004-05:00

In a completely surreal moment in my life, I just shot and edited my daughter's Sr. Pictures. It seems only yesterday I carried her from the delivery room to the NICU.

She was born premature. And the first 48 hours were the hardest of my life. I suspect the 48 hours before she leaves the house to live her amazing life will be the second hardest. I don't wish for that day to come. I just want to reflect.

My daughter is creative...a free spirit...a free thinker...and sometimes she gets wrapped so deep on a thought that it takes awhile to come back up for air. I know this because she is, in a lot of ways, like me.

I don't know what the future holds for her. I know that she has a lot better chance of not f**king things up than I did. (I really kinda screwed the pooch from about 19-21).

Then...at 21, I decided I didn't want to be in my parents house any more (rookie mistake)...and had to live my own life. I met a woman...fell in love. Had an amazing baby girl.

And life, as I knew it, was never the same.

It sounds cliche. And I don't care. It is the God's Honest Truth. The first seconds I held her in my arms, I knew that there was something in this universe greater than me....greater than you...greater than all of us. And that was love. Holding this little tiny child in my arms, I knew a love so deep it hurt.

And I feel that love every day. Sometimes I watch her...and I know she doesn't really have a sense of how amazing she really is. She'll tell me about her day and I just have to smile. I can't help it. I look at her and think 'You came from me...but you are meant to be so much more than I will ever be.'

I hope that she reads this. Bookmarks it. Realizes that She truly is only limited by herself. Keep looking toward the stars. The universe will keep no secrets from you as long as you continue to ask.

I love you punkin'doodle.

-Dad.

Lard Ass

2011-11-15T00:02:00.003-05:00

First off, I'm not even sure that Blogger will let me keep that title. We'll see.

Now....what does it all mean? You clicked here and you're instantly greeted with something that could definitely been seen as derogatory. And it is.

But it's also me. I'm the Lard Ass.

Oh...it's ok. I've embraced it. For now. But soon...very soon, I'll be letting it go.

Two things are starting up in my life tomorrow (well, today actually). A shift in diet and nutrition. That would be the first thing.

The second thing is...I'm making a movie again. There's a few of you that know why that may be shocking. And it's cool. Don't get too crazy with the Cheez Whiz. This isn't a big-budget Hollywould flick shot on the latest model of Red camera that's out there. No. This is a little video journal. An auto-bio-pic, if you will, shot on my POS Nikon L24 (no, it's not one of those point and shoots that shoots in HD. I'm tellin' ya folks this is lo-fi).

Lo-fi. This is not about flash. This is about being real. Real people don't have make up artists or personal trainers or personal chefs. Real people have $90 cameras and are trying to do the best they can to not screw shit up.

And sometimes real people cuss (yeah. whoops).

Annnnnnnnd sometimes real people get off on a tangent and forget completely where they were going with the whole thing.

OH! Right-o!

So...tomorrow I start a program from Advocare called the 24 Day Challenge. It basically is designed to steer you back to healthy eating choices (and I'll be incorporating exercise back in to the routine starting with Day 11).

And I'm gonna document it, dear readers. For you..for me..for posterity..who the eff knows? I just know that I'm gonna try to get through this thing and get back to some semblance of being in shape.

I weigh over 300 pounds. No, that's not a type...that's a three at the front of that number. It's supposed to be 185..that's my 'IDEAL' weight. But I'm not gonna lie, I would be happy as shit to be at 200.

Hell...I'm not picky. I really just want to be able to go dancing and not be completely winded and begging for death after dancing through Party Rock Anthem (don't laugh, that's my jam, right there!).

The intent is to make this some sort of 'docu-diary' or some shit like that (OH! sorry...I'm back to the movie idea, which really, is an extension of the 24 Day Challenge (because I didn't have enough stress starting this so close to the holidays*). Heh. Yeah.

Well...doesn't look like I can get the first clip uploaded. Guess you'll have to just wait (at least until I figure it out. :-)

Peace out.

**UPDATE**
Well, I uploaded the video to Facebook (they have a 1GB limit, not a 100MB limit). And here it is:

Enjoy (or not....at this point, this isn't really for you, it's for me...but if it helps you too, then cool).

-A.T.

Best. Concert. Ever.

2011-09-25T22:57:00.001-05:00

The title sums it up. Last night (Thurs night) I went to the best concert...ever (up to now).

I am speaking, of course, of the Foo Fighters at Nationwide Arena. I waited until a week before the show to get tix. Turns out that was a good thing. I wound up getting 'General Admission/Floor'....and in parenthesis...*No Seats.* Now, I'm no spring chicken...and the reality of the situation is this...I would be standing for quite possibly 6 hours. Still...it's the fucking Foo Fighters. The album they just put out is just one of the best straight ahead rock albums this year ("Wasting Light")...and they did it old school. If they couldn't play it live with their instruments (and pedals) to tape, it didn't get on the album. They recorded to analog tape. And you can tell...it just has that warm 'rock and roll record' vibe to it.

So...I wound up taking the floor. Got one of the last parking spaces in the lot and walked up to the ground floor entrance. I stopped at the main door first and saw this sign:

I thought about it later, I left my D50 at home. Because of the detachable lens (and the fact that I use it in a professional capacity, it's considered a 'professional' camera. Which, according to the sign above would have been OK as they only disallowed PROFFESIONAL cameras. Oh, and the note about Mosh Pits and (crowd) Surfing when unheeded as well.

So, they marched all us General Admission plebes in through the tunnels under the other arena seats (basically where everything gets loaded in and out).

In the tunnel on the way to my 'standing area', I saw this:

It all made sense later, but you know...it was a piece of rock. And I was taken back to the thrill of the Rock and Roll Fantasy camp and how shit like this just made it 'real'.

I hit the restroom and squeezed out as much as I could possibly squeeze (since I wasn't about to give up my square foot when I got in there). And then on the way in, stopped and picked up a t-shirt and hat. The t-shirt went on. The hat, unfortunately, was too small (it's OK though, they let me trade up and pay the difference to get the Foo Fighters wristband and guitar picks after the show on my way out).

The first band that opened was Mariachi El Bronx from L.A.. I knew nothing about them, save they were a mariachi band (that kicked ass) and approached traditional mariachi music with punk rock sensibility...which is to say...they fucking rocked. I was a little disappointed to hear people shouting USA....USA.. Really? What country do you motherfuckers think California is in, anyway??

After they were done, I happened to look up at the A/V rig. Yeah...it's gonna get loud later (and it did).

The next band was Rise Against (from Chicago). The non-lead-singer guitarist looked like the dude from the original Hills Have Eyes (a.k.a. the dude from Weird Science...a.k.a. the dude from Midnight Oil...a.k.a. the drummer from AC/DC). They were good. They rocked it. I only knew one of their songs. My feet weren't sore yet and I'd had my first whiff of sweet leaf. So, it seemed the evening was on par to rock.

I did a quick 'this is how many people were there' shot (but there's one later that REALLY gives a sense of how packed the arena was.

I (thankfully had these in during Mariachi El Bronx and Rise Against...but it seemed like it would be somehow sacrilege to wear these during the Foos performance....and it may have been....but the ringing in my ears on the way home told me that next time-we're committing heresy.

And now, various shots of the Foo Figthers. I was about 25 feet (or 12 rows of people) back from the stage...pretty frickin' close.

And then, when Dave came out on his little runway thing, I was about 10 feet. The location from which I experienced the concert was well work the pain in my feet and calves as well as the spasming of my back that happened before the encore.

The following shots are of the encore...this gives you sense of how packed the place was. And to be honest, it was an amazing, electric show...the energy was palpable.

Thanks Dave and crew for giving this nearly 40-something another glimpse of rock and roll magic. And as long as you keep making records and touring, I'll keep buying them and seeing you..because...dudes...you fucking rock.

The setlist is as follows (I didn't keep track of this, I found it online):

Bridge Burning
Rope
The Pretender
My Hero
Learn to Fly
White Limo
Arlandria
Breakout
Cold Day in the Sun
Stacked Actors
Walk
Monkey Wrench
Let It Die
These Days
Skin and Bones
This is a Call
In the Flesh (Pink Floyd cover)
All My Life

Encore:
Long Road to Ruin (Acoustic)
Best of You (Acoustic)
Times Like These
Dear Rosemary
Breakdown (Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers cover)
Everlong

There's more in my head about this epic event, but suffice to say that it was truly inspiring. In a moment of pleasant banter, Dave went on a rant about 'fuck computers...go get some real instruments...play...and make a fucking band...just get out there and do it!!'

And it's brilliant advice, actually. If you like to jam and play...the fucking jam and play.

So...um...yeah....that's how awesome the concert was.

Peace
-A.T.

Long Train Runnin'

2011-09-20T21:54:00.000-05:00

No, I am neither high, nor going to write a post about my brother (although I could, at length, I'm sure)...no..the title refers to the fact that I was listening to Pandora radio and ELO's "Telephone Line" was on. Yes, I'm quite aware that it bears no resemblance to the Doobie Brothers, but hey-I'm inside my head-not you...so, trust me on this, walk away from trying to make it add up. I doubt you will.

If this post (long overdue, I know. I'm sorry about that) ever gets done, it will be a miracle as I'm constantly succumbing to my latest addiction--Words With Friends.

So...where was I? Oh yeah, long time since I posted (duh..THAT'S where the title came from...told you we'd figure it out).

What's been up with me?

Oh...you know the usual. I'm gonna go ahead and adhere to my policy about not talking about the job that pays my bills, if that's OK with you. It's not that I'm paranoid or anything, it's just that I'm sure that one some server, there's a word limit and I'm sure I'd hit it and in that jumble of detritus, I'm sure I'd say something that might hurt someone's feelings (namely mine if it was read and misinterpreted)...so, best to avoid that and just say 'Work is fine, thanks for asking'.

I am, however picking up business in another area that I think is safe to call a passion. Yeah. the photography is picking up (yes, I know I need to update the photoddgraphy blog, too, shh...all in good time poppet). But I'm actually picking up some steam thanks to that great timesuck, facebook (I'd capitalize it here, but I think Google might not be happy). But no, seriously. I've set up a 'business/artist' page for TwistedZen Photography over on facebook. And if you don't mind, could you just head over there and click the LIKE button? Cool. Thanks.

I'm averaging about 2-3 bookings a month at this point. The game plan is to get to about 5 or 6 a week...and then from there taking a weekday off...and getting up to 8-10 a week. And that at that point, I'm probably ready to make it a full time gig. It seems a little weird to see actual numbers there, but it's cool at the same time. I mean, if I'm serious about doing this full time (and every time I'm on a shoot, I can't imagine doing anything else for a living), then I need to know those numbers and strive for them.

Another weird thing is that music is coming back in to my life...I mean more along the lines of making/producing. It's strange the people from your past that may have only had cursory influence come back in to your life and provide pieces to puzzles you didn't even know you were trying solve. I'm gonna keep that one a little more mysterious for now, since it's still new and I want to see where it goes.

In other words, there are blessings right before my eyes. I should definitely be embracing them. And yet, I find myself focusing on some of the shittier things going on right now. The things I can't change. The things I can't let go of (why do those two always seem to be joined at the hip?).

I know this world is an illusion. I KNOW that...and yet, I find myself playing along with it so willingly. Getting caught up in it. Getting angry at it for its unfairness. Buying in to the misery, pain, and despair with alarming ease. And I know that's not how it's supposed to go down. Funny thing is...when I truly foster that belief, things fall in to place and go my way. It's crazy. It's like a constant reminder to live (love) in the now.

Alright...I need to cut this short now...for two reasons...1)if I don't, it's gonna turn in to the book that's trying to come out and 2)It's my move.

Peace out
-AT

Way Late Post From a Way Fun Weekend

2011-05-22T22:14:00.006-05:00

I'm way late in posting this. Well, by way late, I mean a week. Which for me (who used to blog all the friggin time, it seems, is way late.

It really was a blast of a weekend, so I'll just dive right in then.

Friday night, I brought back an old friend, DJ iTod. Regular readers of the blog may remember DJ iTod's sole performance back in 2005 (or was it 2006)...either way. A friend asked if I would DJ a elementary school carnival. After some thought (not much at all), I loaded up the borrowed band PA gear and got stuff ready at McNamara Park north of Westerville (which is a kick-ass shelter, if you're wondering).

The kit looked a little (exactly) like this:

Since I was rocking the laptop only (and had the iPod in my bag), I figured it was OK to re-use the DJ iTod moniker (although I'm pretty sure I never said my name at all, so it didn't really matter)

On the other side of the shot it looked a bit (exactly) like this:

DJ iTod in the hizzous. You can't tell by the look on my face, but I was very close to brain-mush at this point. Something about 2 1/2 hours of children's songs. To be fair, though, They Might Be Giants have some killer kids tunes.

After packing up the kit I headed home. I by-passed a couple of Friday the 13th parties that were happening and headed home to freshen up a bit before hitting Brewstirs. Don't really need to get in to too much detail about Brewstirs. I go there. Friends show up. We drink. We (sometimes) order pizzas*. Sometimes we dance. Sometimes we sing. In the Summer or the winter, cuz it ain't no thing. But yeah.

Saturday morning I was to meet Ian and Darrin at the quarterly record show. As I pulled in to the lot, I remembered Ian was without cell phone. So I called Darrin. Darrin was sitting this round out and spending a nice family-time weekend with, well, his family. Which is cool.

I headed in and spotted Ian. Halloo's were exchanged and I started my path of walking around having absolutely no clue what I was going to spend my dj-gig dough on.

And then I saw it.

And I knew I had to have it.

Yeah. Christmas With Colonel Sanders. Seriously, how could I NOT buy this. The almost ancient Chinese guy in the too white suit was giving me that hypnotic smile. (the photo is from some other site because I'm kinda lazy that way). There's a nice letter that takes up almost the full inside written by (I'm assuming) the Colonel's own marketing staff. I haven't played it yet, and really don't know if I'll ever need to.

I also picked up a copy of "Green" by R.E.M to sit right next to "Document" on my record shelf. I was on a quest for 12" singles (still trying to convince Brewstirs to do a retro/vinyl night). Pickings were slim. Well, let me re-phrase that. There were quite likely a shit-ton of 12"singles there...but as we've established by the previously nicked photo, I'm a bit lazy. So I was looking for vendors who had the good sense to pander to my laziness (and potentially minor hangover) by separating out the 12"singles from the rest of their collections. I found a couple such vendors and left with the following gems:

Run-DMC "Hard Times"
Prince "Let's Go Crazy" b/w "Erotic City"
Thomas Dolby "Dissidents: The Search For Truth"

I'm still trying to find a replacement copy of Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock "It Takes Two" to replace the one that I lost when Flamingo Isle closed its doors (before I got my vinyl out).

After circling one more time than necessary for me to know I wasn't about to flip through any more records, I found Ian and a new guest to the party Michael Million (who I thought I might have seen earlier, but dismissed it because as last I knew, he was living out of state...but nope..it was him (and still is, I presume).

We gathered up the wagon train and headed off for gyros. We skipped the scary mob-front gyro shack on Morse Rd. and headed further east on Morse Road and wound up at the Mykanos Taverna in Gahanna. And I have to say. I had the BEST gyro I've ever had.

It was called the Athenian Gyro...and I jokingly called it the 'Po'Boy Gyro' when reading the menu description. When it arrived, I knew I wasn't far off.

Dude. I shit you not, this thing was awesome. The sauce was awesome. The seasoned fries were awesome. The fact that they were IN the gyro was doubly awesome. The whole thing freakin' rocked.

After consuming that heavenly feast (and kicking myself for NOT getting the Groupon for that place) we waddled up to Music Go Round (there was an Orange Whip reference related to bottled water in there too (I caught it Ian, no worries :-))

I knew I wasn't really going to buy anything, but it was fun to look at the PA cabinets anyway :-).

I honestly had more fun watching Ian and Michael go up and down the rows of guitars and the color commentary that ensued. It was good shit and I could see myself watching it on Discovery Channel at some point.

In the midst of all that we stopped for a Bad Grammar Moment:

To which Ian replied: "My all alone what?"

We may never know. The other funny thing about the shot is that Ian looks incredibly baked. Which, some may think he is...but if I had to put money on the last person on the planet to go that route, it'd be him. So...Bad Grammar+Irony=Comedy Gold.

I think the next pic pretty much speaks for itself:

I bugged off at about 3, so I'm not sure how the rest of the day wound down for Ian and Michael, but it was a blast. And one I hope we don't have to wait another 3 months for.

I headed home and grabbed the photog bag. I was excited to shoot a very special event for a good friend from high-school, Traci O'Brien (in yellow in the photo below). She was celebrating her 1 year anniversary of being sober. It was cool as shit. Her friends and family came out to support her. Her sister Nancy actually got Traci to the house under the guise of a birthday cook-out (it was Nancy's birthday), so it was just all perfect. And Traci was surprised. It was a fun afternoon, and I was blessed to be able to capture some of those memories for them.

Not sure how Saturday could get MUCH better, I headed home and started going through the pix. I wound up heading to Brewstir's for the rare '2nd Night in a Weekend' jaunt (but it was, afterall, an epic weekend, so I felt the need to keep it going).

Sunday was very much a lazy/chill day. I think something happened to make me think it was a cool continuation of the previous 2 days of the Epic Weekend (but for the life of me, I can't remember it now as I'm staring down the clock reminding me that in 4 hours and 58 minutes I'll be getting up to get ready for work).

So, that's about how the way fun weekend went.

Man....writing feels good. I need to do more of this shit.

Oh...right...bedtime.

Talk to you later, peeps.

-A.T.

*-So. The Pizzas. Normally I order a pizza or 2 (if there are many friends there). Tonight was no exception. I ordered a pie from Classic Pizza. Well...we got a new delivery guy. Complete Rookie. The first time he showed up (12minutes after I ordered), he gives me some other guys pizza (which I paid for)...and I swear I almost got my ass kicked over it. Luckily we didn't eat off of it...he gave me the money I paid and everything was cool.

Second time this guy comes back (with my pizza this time), he's looking for 'Bob' (now, I'm not sure Bob and Todd could ever sound alike, but whatever)....so this dude is freakin out. And Chris, the bartender knows Chris, the manager at Classics. So...we assure the guy that he's not going to lose money...someone will buy the pie. And I was like 'dude...this MIGHT be my pizza anyway, can you just open the box and let me see it'....he was freakin'...he was like 'I've been here 2 times already tonight and it's just BUSY in here'...I said 'yeah, you're gonna be back 2 more times before the night's over (it was 3 times)...long story short (too late)..it WAS my pizza. So now Chris and Bill (the bouncer) call me Bob-Todd. Heh. Normally Pizza delivery goes a little smoother. LOL.

Too Many Me's

2011-05-02T20:42:00.002-05:00

So, I just posted on Facebook (which I really am probably doing too much (but more on that later)...I just posted the following:

sometimes it feels like there's a few different dudes kickin' around in my noggin'. It gets a little crowded sometimes. And I have to let them out...either through writing...or music or photography...it's getting to the point where it's really friggin' crowded up there again...to the point where sometimes I feel a little....well...crazy. Hehe. And maybe I am....just a little bit.

and sometimes I feel that way. I feel like I'm wired not like other people. Any kind of in-depth discussion for anything over 11 minutes generally confirms that feeling. It's not really a sense of dread as much as it is a sense of 'What the fuck?' As in 'ok..so I'm wired differently for a reason. What the fuck is the reason?'

I don't feel like I'm on a Blues Brothers mission from God (or maybe I am...fuck...seriously...maybe the blog isn't the best place for this mental vivisection)...

Switching gears.

I'm in a weird state today. I pumped gas in my compact car at $4.09/gallon. And then 3 hours later was told that the leader of one of the largest terrorist organizations (second only to the Catholic Church) had been killed in a precision strike by Navy Seals. I'm not going to say his name, because the last thing I really want is the search engines to pick up on my little bloggy blog.

But...we're given the news by a very somber President. And it's great, right? We should be celebrating. The Bastard that orchestrated the attack with the most casualties on American soil was finally dead. WooHoo.

Right?

I mean, we should be celebrating, right? Singing 'War is Over (Happy Christmas)' and all that shit.

Right?

Yeah.. I don't know, bro.

I mean. He was a human.

Sure...possibly evil incarnate. And I'm certainly not defending his actions.

But celebration of a death.

I just don't know.

See...I was caught up in the 'America-Fuck Yeah!' fervor until about 11:09 this morning. And then it kind of hit me.

What hit you Todd?

Glad you asked.

See...I have long held this....theory...this innate knowledge (that's been with me for quite some time)....that there is no God.

Yeah. You read it right.

And you didn't read it right.

You read 'There is no God' and are sharpening up your pens (or your home row keys) ready to call me a heretic, or even worse, an Atheist.

And I may be. I'm not sure yet. What is it when you think All things are God? (even the Atheists and terrorists?) Cuz whatever THAT's called, I'm probably closer to that.

So...just a glimpse (because there's really more here than a single blog post).

But when I say there is no 'God'....what I really mean is that there is no God separate from you and I. And really, there is no You and I. There is no Us and Them.

We are ALL God. All of us. Every single one of us God.

No, not A god....THE God.

All of us.

WE are God experiencing Its Creation.

(And like I said, there's more to it than this post will allow)...point is....if we are ALL God (every single living entity on this planet (and countless other planets) is God.

God wants to feel what its like to be sorta talented in many areas (but never really excel in any of them) and to be living a life that he knows can be so much more (if I could just remember the fucking key).....so, a piece of God is living out that path. And it's called Andrew Todd Skaggs....just to experience what that's like. Sort of like writing the dictionary...and then wanting to FEEL....to LIVE what every single word in that dictionary means.

Whatever's going on in your life, God wants to experience it.

So...what better way to feel ALL of the ranges of possibilities than for God to just BE those things. So...we're all God. (I'm not here to debate that point....it's really only the setup for the next point).

So...as God....we are to rejoice when something Evil is destroyed? Are we? I mean, that evil thing was also a lifeforce on this earth. And if my hypothesis is correct, was also part of God experiencing itself.

Seriously...the problem with most western religion is that it assumes that there is a force equal to God that's battling God for control of our eternal souls. And in the same breath, we're told that God already won the battle.

Well, of course he did. He set up the pieces on the board. Shit...he IS the board. You ever try to play Stratego with yourself? You know ahead of time where the bombs, canons and flags are. Of course you're going to win.

Its kind of like when I was little I had my GI Joes (second generation,not the 12" action figures with kung fu grip). When I played GI Joes, each character had a different voice and they were true to their form.

But I gave them life.

They didn't do anything that wasn't already in my head. And sure, sometimes Cobra won (because, lets face it, if you had StormShadow, he HAD to kick some ass every now and then...and the twins whos skin changed color in the sun)...but ultimately, GI Joe won....because he was the 'good guy' (even though he was made out of the same stuff as all the others...same material...same mold...somewhere along the way, we decided he was the 'good' guy).

And heaven forbid something happened to my action figures. Like if my mamaw accidentally threw them out (from stepping on them on the front porch step one too many times)...I was sad. Even if that one was the 'bad guy'....I lost one of my 'creations'....one of the actors in my play time was gone.

Get it?

If we're all God experiencing its creation....then we ARE ALL GOD*. So...any time there is death that is unnatural, it should be a time for mourning.

Which leads to the next question.

Is it unnatural?

If we are all God experiencing its creation, then any scenario that happens while we have breath has to a)Be Necessary and b) be known

This isn't going where I thought it would (damn dudes in my head steering things in a different direction again.

I need to cut this short before the guys in white coats show up. I'm not ready for their visit yet. Someday, but not quite yet.

In short, I guess, my point is...celebrating the death of 'the enemy' is a dark road. I've seen what it's done to people who have served in war.

It that fucking Free Will that steps in to screw shit up again.

Alright. I think that's all I can let out for now...my brain is swimming in places I'm not sure it should be just now.

Peace Out.

-ATS

*-I just use the word 'God' because it's a concept that most can understand (even through the saturation of the western world). In reality I think it's a force much bigger than any of us really can imagine (at least while clinging feverishly to this 'world', that is).-AT

Epic Weekend of Epic Awesomeness!!

2011-04-17T20:38:00.002-05:00

Man...this week sucked. And by sucked I mean I was a bit frustrated at my day job. There's really no need to go in to that here, because, well, the week is done. And I'd rather not re-hash any of that.

But it was necessary to lay the foundation for my mindset by the time Friday evening rolled around. The mindset was, I needed to forget ALL about the week. I had made plans for lunch and hang time with my best bro Darrin for Saturday afternoon. Which left Friday to get the weekend started proper.

I hit up a surprise party for a friend early in the evening at Jimmy V's. Jimmy V's is in Uptown Westerville (don't ask, it's a post for another time)...and it's like 2 blocks from the Westerville Police Station. Now, I'm not a fan of drinking and driving anyway, but those odds led for me being fairly subdued at that event. I hung out a bit....ate some apps....nurse my Smithwick's...gave my well wishes to the Birthday girl and headed over to my oasis.

That would be Brew'Stirs. That place is my Cheers. I feel like Norm when I walk in. Chris (he tends bar on Fridays and Saturdays with either Kara or Karen) sees me walk in and heads to the cooler, pulls a chilled pint glass and draws off a Shock Top for me. It's on the bar waiting for me when I get there.

It's so fucking awesome to be someone that the barkeeps know as having a 'usual'. The other thing that's great is I walk there. I drink my fill (a $20 is usually enough liquid amnesia to make me forget that I have to do the same thing all over again at work Monday morning). And then I walk home.

It's awesome. And this is just the normal awesomeness associated with Brew'Stirs on a weekly basis.

This week, though, it was a bout of Epic Awesomeness. By the time I hit Brew'Stirs from Jimmy V's I was so ready to forget the week that it wasn't even funny.

But I wasn't alone this week. This week I had almost a dozen good friends there to help forget the week (most of them are friends from back in the dizzay that we reconnected with through FB...and when we hang, there's that history as well as the currentness of knowing what's on each others wall...it's a weird dynamic, but it frickin' works, man, it works).

Drinks were had....and then we ordered pizzas. Now they don't serve or make pizzas there. But Classic Pizza is right down the road and they have a Brew'Stirs 'special' (which is basically $2 off). So we ordered 2 pizzas. Dude gets there. And he's got 4 pizzas for us. 2 that were 'undelivered' (damn kids and their prank phone calls)...so for the price of 2 pizzas, we got 4. And of course, our bartenders take care of us, so we made sure to take care of them. (ALWAYS share with your bartenders. Trust me, it pays off).

So...drinks-Awesome. Extra Pizza-Awesome. Good Friends-Awesome. Closing the bar down until lights up-EPIC AWESOMENESS.

I crashed into bed feeling very happy....peaceful and more than a little shnookered. The weekend had begun.

Darrin was due to hit my place around 1130. I was up by 10 and all ready. Hung out editing some pix until he got there.

We don't really ever set an agenda for hang time. It's more organic than that. And that's cool. After some catching up and chillin', we settled on lunch. Wings at Rooster's. From there the day was open. It was National Record Store Day, so the notion was briefly entertained of hitting the record stores on Campus to see what was shaking.

We got in and just started driving the service roads, then we decided to hit Lev's Pawn Shop. Darrin had never been in a pawn shop. And while I had (and knew they were pretty much kinda like a sad garage sale with walls, and armed cashiers), I decided to go along. You never know what you're gonna get into there. And I kinda dig Pawn Shops anyway. Just always seemed seedy to me.

Getting out of the car, in the abandoned parking (minus the taco truck) we see a pink onesie with what I hope is mud in the crotch. This didn't bode well.

Walking in we hear "Holy Fuck that's a lot of Blood! He's really bleeding....." Actually Darrin heard it first, my ears kicked in on "They're scrapin' that shit off the ice". I apparently saw the hockey game on TV first because it didn't really phase me. But I can see where it would be a very odd greeting upon entering the store.

Nothing that either of us couldn't live without at this store, so we baled. Back on to the service roads we went.

We eventually decided to hit the revived Graceland Area. and hit Half Price Books and I got my vinyl fix on. It was close enough to NRSD for me to count, so I did. I got 10 12" singles, most were electronica tracks I'd never heard from artists I didn't know. I love that shit. I also got the Kill Bill Diary by David Carradine and strongly resisted the urge to pick up a pair of retro headphones I didn't need.

Holy crap has that place changed. There's a whole other post about how icons of my childhood/teen years have been wiped off the map (Farrell's Ice Cream and the Rocky Horror Picture Show every Friday and Saturday at Midnight).

So...yeah..Half Price Books. Ducked out of there and headed back toward mi casa and hit the Salvation Army Thrift Store on the way.

I gotta be honest, I was really craving a tetanus shot by the time we left there. It was just....dirty. Skeevy, sad, and dirty. That was probably my last time in there. Ever. At least without a haz-mat suit.

Luckily for us, ANOTHER Lev's Pawn Shop was right next door. So we hit that.

Bigger than the first, but again, there was really nothing I needed. Then Darrin pipes up 'Hey..you still got that MiniDisc?'. Yeah, I said. Why?

He found a MiniDisc recording deck. I definitely needed it for the studio (don't start pushing the semantics of the word 'need'...let it go)....so I looked. $159. Um...what? Oh, it's been marked down to $60.

That was still more than I wanted to pay. So I do what I almost never do. I asked the guy behind the counter if they'd take $40 for it.

They weren't sure. They got online to see what it was going for on eBay. They came back and said 'We can't take less than we have in it. And we paid $50 for it. So, it'd be $50+ tax'. I thanked them. Told them I'd think about it and if I wanted to spend $50 on one, I'd be back, because I was sure it'd still be there. I put it back on the shelf and Darrin and I started leaving. 3 steps toward the door they stopped me and said they'd take $40. Jelly.

Got it home...tested it out. It works like a champ. And I still think I got a bargain. Especially since I got it for less than they wanted to sell it for.

We chilled and watched Epic MealTime and laughed our asses off. It was a great fucking afternoon.

That evening I went to Port Columbus with my parents to welcome my Uncle Don back. He had gone on the Honor Flight for WWII Veterans. It was a tremendously powerful and humbling experience. And a fantastic way to end out the Saturday of Epic Awesomeness.

Today hasn't really be so epic OR awesome. Too much thought about the week ahead (especially thanks to being on call). But there was enough awesomeness in Friday and Saturday to get me through the week.

And this coming Friday, Dad and I are heading down to the farm. I'm expecting nothing short of a surreal journey...and some awesome photographs.

OK...off now to get my shit together for the week ahead.

Peace out!

-A.T.

Feh.

2011-02-08T21:49:00.002-05:00

There are certain phrases that are designed to make the person speaking feel better about what they're about to say...although they SOUND like they're meant to console the recipient of said verbal muckity muck (which they almost never do).

For example:

"No offense, but...." This is almost always followed by something that someone with half a brain would find offensive (this usually counts the speaker of said phrase out, since if they, in fact had half a brain, would know they were about to offend and would just shut up).

"I don't mean to be rude..." And yet, you're gonna be if you start a sentence this way. Along the same lines is 'Now...don't get angry' or 'I'm not looking to cause trouble...' Too late-words came out of your mouth.

And here's one that I almost typed on a friend's blog as a comment

"If it's any consolation..." This one is actually the sneakiest of them all. Because it catches you off guard. It's all like 'hey...just giving you some friendly advice....and you don't have to use it if you don't want to because..you know..I said 'if'...'

The problem with that one is that it's almost NEVER any consolation to the person receiving that statement. If they were in a position to reason out the situation and look at a bigger picture, they wouldn't need your damn consolation (or bad attempts at passing of your "wisdom" and disguising it as sympathy).

And this isn't one of those 'I NEVER do these things' kind of posts. I do. I do this shit all the time...well..ok, not all the time because that would make me a pretty colossal douchebag. And I'd like to think I haven't worked my way up to colossal yet...just you know...normal 'american' size douchebaggery.

Speaking of d-bagging. I owe an apology to Darrin. Bro...on our Bro-Saturday I tweeted/FB'd at Starliner Diner like right out of nowhere. The isht's like a habit. I'd say I was trying to kick it. But I'd be lying. It's my crack. But I promise to do better when we're hanging. But..um. I'm sorry.

I've noticed that it used to piss me off when people would get on their blue tooth...or have a conversation so loudly that you can't hear yourself think (and it still does to an extent, but I find myself 'assimilating'). But this texting/FB'ing/Twittering--it's the new form of 'cell-phone rude.' At least when people were blatantly blowing you off by talking on their cell phone or blue tooth they could at least look at you and smile and pretend to hear you. Now...when they're updating (or worse yet, checking updates) FB or Twitter or whatever the new social-heroin is, they're oblivious (And by 'they'...I mean me..because I do this, too. For f**ksakes, I was voted 'Most Likely to Update His Facebook Page While At the Reunion' at my 20th High School Reunion. Sad, I know. But I don't remember what my Senior 'Award' actually was from 1990...so...I guess..it's...um...an improvement (that was sarcasm)).

I have no idea where that came from, to be completely honest.

Lately I've been working on clearing out the mental cob-webs that have been nesting in the noggin. I feel like there's a book (or at the very least a very lengthy free-form writing experiment) that's about to come out and I need to get in the habit of writing on a keyboard with mostly full size keys and also carrying a thought out for longer than either 140 or 420 characters at a time. I know...I've written those same sentiments in 9 of the last 16 blog posts (See---practice DOES make perfect...one of these days you might even believe it).

That went in a really odd direction (not really surprising given the thangs bounding around in my noodle lately).

I'm gonna go ahead and hit the NyQuil, then hit the sack. I'm tired. And I think I'm getting a cold. And I'm sore.

Because I fell last week. And it sucked. But that's a story for another time.

To sum up:

Ian/Darrin--had a blast jamming/hanging out. Too soon is not soon enough to do it again (but maybe AFTER my ribs heal up...not sure they're up to that much laughing again just yet)
Ian-hope K feels better
Darrin-Starliner Diner soon...and Sorry about the facebooking.
All-g'night.

Peace Out

-ATS

He Had a Dream

2011-01-17T22:46:00.003-05:00

This isn't going to be another 'Remember MLK' kind of post or riddled with inspirational quotes from a dead guy. As crass as it sounds, they're not really helping, are they?

I think the main difference between racism of the 60's and before is that it was right out there. BAM! "No Negroes"...."Whites Only"...you really couldn't miss it (a burning cross on the lawn sent a pretty clear message of hate....horrible, but was effective in passing along its message). And I think in some parts of the South, you still can't miss the mess. What's funny is, I'm sure there are as many places in the 'North' where it's just as rampant (but not nearly as obvious).

And no. It's not 'funny' ha-ha...it's ironic and sad, if you must know the truth.

Just today I posted on Facebook:

"i fear that we, as a society, may have painted ourselves in to a corner when it comes to any honest and open discussions about racism in America. The fact that this thought has crossed my mind on more than one occasion in my lifetime means that, clearly, Dr. King's work is far from finished."

What brought this one was wanting to post a status of how sick I was about the whole 'hyphenated-American' thing that's been going on since well....the 70's.

One of my friends from my college days at DePauw wasn't going to just let me sit on that comment though (God love ya Gail!), she challenged me that we had come quite a ways since the 60's. And we have. I think the biggest thing I struggle with is the myth of the 'melting pot' and the whole phenomenon of 'hyphenated-Americans' that began in the 70s when we made a shift from calling ourselves a melting pot to calling ourselves multi-cultural. I just think that somewhere along the way of trying so hard to preserve where we came from, we lost sight of where, as a culture, society and nation, we were going. I have family ties back to Ireland, Scotland, Italy, and the Cherokee nation...but I am not Euro-American...I'm not Cherokee-American...I'm an American citizen. I guarantee you if I go to any other country in the world, they don't give a flip whats in front of the hyphen...just what's after it.

But...THIS is the corner that I mean...the one we've painted ourselves in to.

There's no easy way to talk about this without tearing through the scar tissue of wounds that have supposedly 'healed'...and in the end, it's not really about the hyphenated-Americans, is it?

It's about us...a people...the human race...realizing that my brother or sister is not the person in my house...or street or city....but they are the person that needs my help...and they may be halfway across the world.

I don't know. I don't know the answer yet...Dr. King did, I think. And he got killed for it.

Gail comes back and mentions that more compassion and less judgement is a better solution (along with some other great points that you should actually just go to my FB Wall and read).

And I agree.

But I can't get away from these damn hyphens. And here's why.

As a white person...(sorry...as a person of very fair skin pigmentation), I am not expected to identify myself with a hyphen.

If my skin were darker I could go for latin-american...or african-american....if my eyes had different characteristics, I could go for any of the Asiatic tribes (chinese-american, japanese-american, korean-american)....but being from European ancestry (Irish/Italian on my Dad's side, English/Welsh on my Mom's side) I have to check the box that simply says 'Caucasian.'

Dude...that's jacked up.

Caucasian, if you're wondering, doesn't mean 'white.' Oh...that's how we use it in every single check-box form there is, but it's not what its origins are.

From Wikipedia (don't get me started..with its peer-review system, it's more accurate than you think...but that's an article for another time):

The term Caucasian race (also Caucasoid, Europid, or Europoid^[1]) has been used to denote the general physical type of some or all of the indigenous populations of Europe, North Africa, the Horn of Africa, West Asia, Central Asia, and South Asia.^[2] Historically, the term has been used to describe the entire population of these regions, without regard necessarily to skin tone. In common use, specifically in American English, the term is sometimes restricted to Europeans and other lighter-skinned populations within these areas, and may be considered equivalent to the varying definitions of white people.^[3]

Yeah. OK...sure...seems benign enough. The issue is...if you keep reading the article on it (found here), you will see that it really is a horrible classification. No. I'm not caucasian, thank you very much....any more than you're mongoloid or negroid...

I'm American. I'm a male of the species homo sapiens....oh...and I like long walks on a moonlit beach.

But I'm not caucasian...because I will not be part of a classification system that seeks to subjugate people based on where their ancestors came from. I doubt it's too much of a coincidence that the term 'aryan' pops up in the discussions on Dr. Blumenbach's work on racial classification.

I will be checking the 'OTHER' box from here on out.

Somewhere between continuing the conversation with friends on FB and coming back here, I lost the train of thought in my head.

Sorry about that...

but suffice to say, on this day of remembrance for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr....that I do NOT hope we reach the land he describes in his 'I have a Dream' speech...that is to say I hope we don't STAY there...I hope we go BEYOND that...I don't think it was ever meant to be a destination. It was a waypoint. It was a 'hey...let's get here, and I'll show you the next stop on the map to self-actualization and the spiritualizing of the human soul'...I'm guessing of course..because he's...well, dead. And he can't tell us where he envisioned us going beyond that dream.

I'm not gonna lie, peeps....there's some isht that's been floating in my head for a while now that's about to just come spewing out. I'll try not to let TOO much of the really out there stuff hit this blog...that stuff'll come later in the form of another stream of consciousness "book" (a la 'The Rose' that I wrote on the verge (or just shortly after) a breakdown of sorts)....

Damn. I really have no idea where to take this.

Seems like as good a place as any to let this train of thought coast for a while. I'm heading to bed. I'll check my notes tonight while I'm dreaming and see where I wanted to take this thing.

Until then, strive to be greater than you think you can possibly be, because in someone's mind, you're already greater than even that.

-AT

Dropping in on Acid...again

2011-01-13T23:49:00.002-05:00

Not sure where the time went between the last post and now. And quite frankly it doesn't much matter.

I know that I've been working...and doing some writing...some practicing for the acoustic duo/band thang...and some snow shoveling...and of course, Acid.

No..I don't mean that which drove Mr. Barrett out of his ever-loving mind. I speak mainly of Sony Acid. A loop-based cut and paste music production tool that people seem to compare to Garage Band (even though it pre-dates Garage Band by easily 10 years...but I digress).

So..yeah...cleaned off one of the external harddrives and loaded it up with all the loops I could find (yes, even the shitty Magix ones)...all told about 20GB of loops and samples.

And I've been playing. Yes, in general, I have steered away from the 'borrowed' and 'eval' versions of the software. I could tell you I did all of this with Acid Xpress. Let's just leave it at that.

I've done 3 songs in as many days. Not sure I can keep up this pace...but I have to admit that I'm having a shitton of fun with it. It keeps me off of FaceCrook for an hour or 2 AND it's creating something. It's win-win.

If you missed them on Facebook, here are the tracks, and a little of what I was going for on each.

SnowDin

I really had no plan for this track. But it was written on Tuesday night when the white death was supposed to hit us. And quite frankly, it was just a way of re-familiarizing myself with the software AND the assload of loops.

Snooze Button

This one to me represents that place between deep slumber and your alarm going off for that first time. After that, if you hit snooze...you never quite get back to that place of slumber. And damitol if that alarm doesn't keep coming back.

Anachron

This one really is just a cross-pollination of all kinds of music styles...going back to the 'old' blues...and as current as 'new' techno. The irony is, it's a sample of a blues guitar so the song winds up being an inside joke with itself. Out of the three, it's probably my favorite so far.

And there you have it. And now, I need to head to bed...I needs me some sleep...especially if Friday rocks as hard as it should (or sucks as hard as the other days of the week have).

Peace,

ATodd

No Resolutions

2010-12-29T00:09:00.003-05:00

Every year I fall in to the same trap as everyone else (no..not the trap of generalization, although I know we all do that one, too)....no...the trap I mean is that of doing one or both of the following as the year comes to an end:

Making any kind of "OF XXXX List" (best of, worst of, most annoying boy band comeback of)
Putting down a list of resolutions I have no intention of keeping through the month of January

I'm sure I made resolutions as 2010 started crowning. And I may or may not have stuck to some of them (SPOILER ALERT: I didn't, don't bother looking through last December's posts).

This year, I've decided to go with simple precepts. And while not 'religious' in nature in the strictest sense, they do possess a spirituality for me. When I do these things, I do feel more connected to my core.

My precepts for 2011 are fairly self explanatory, short, and easy to do intentionally:

Laugh
Love
Live
Jam
Shoot
Write
Film

And, I know that by doing those with greater frequency, I will get myself back to the center that I feel lately I've been drifting from.

The first three are very important to me. They are the core of who I am and how I want to be remembered. In fact, I want them to be on my gravestone.

Here Lies

Andrew Todd Skaggs

He Laughed. He Loved. He Lived.

Good rules to live by. And the remaining four are my passions. Music, Photography, Writing, Video/Film. Each of these has been the focal point of my creative outlet at one point or another and I used to think I had to choose. But I realized (quite recently actually) that by trying to limit myself to one or the other, I was missing out. That it was quite possible for all of them to be woven in to the fabric of what makes Todd Todd.

And there you have it.

I will endeavor to make the first three as autonomous as breathing...and the remaining 4 to be as intentional as stopping to smell the flowers.

But these are not resolutions. They're more important to me than that.

And with this second blog post in as many days (some kind of record recently), I'm heading to bed. Because, as cheesy as it sounds, I really do get some kick ass ideas in the place I call Dreamland (although, lately I've been questioning which 'life' I'm living is my dream-life and which is the waking life (but that's a post/book for a whole other time).

Good night fellow travelers!

-A.T.

In the Temple of the Butchered Cow

2010-12-27T23:23:00.003-05:00

1990-1992 was a very jacked up period in my life. I'm not even gonna lie.

1990 I graduated. My HS girlfriend decided to break things off and I was introduced to the concept of 'casual sex.'

Fall of that same year while away at college I drank from the Devil's teats and tried my first taste of alcohol (And second, third, fourth, etc). Winter of that year I pledged a fraternity and later got Walking Pneumonia. Later that winter I got one of the lowest GPA's of any student at DePauw whilst still being able to remain a student at DePauw. I finished out my turd of a freshman year in Indiana and got set to come home to Ohio and go to school at THE Ohio State University.

But to get a sense of what really went in to the making of 'ITTOTBC' you have to go back to 1988 when I got my first guitar (well, probably earlier, but this isn't really an autobiography, now, is it?).

I got my first 2 guitars approximately the same time. 1 was from my grandparents. A Lotus acoustic (that I still have) and from Dan Soisson I got an Epiphone by Gibson PR350 (that I wish I still had). Both acoustics...both woefully under-exploited in my newb hands. Luckily I had Ian to encourage and show me the ropes.

Also, let me say that if I dated you...or had a crush on you...whether you knew it or not, I wrote a song for/about you. You may or may not have ever heard the song, read the lyrics or known of its existence, but it was there. This started in probably 7th or 8th grade...and continued up up until my current wife. Because, afterall...isn't that why we all wanted to be rock-stars? To get chicks? No...of course not.

So...that brings me to ITTOTBC...it's a collection of what was going through my head with regards to life, failing my parents expectations, questioning religion's place in my life, getting my cassette tape case stolen from my car (and chasing down the thieves and recovering said tapes)...and it's a few love songs (or more specifically songs written for people I had more than a passing fancy in at the time) thrown in for good measure. If you were a special lady in my life from 1990-1992, there's a good chance that something on this tape was written for/about you.

And it's cracked out. Seriously. It's some of my earliest work using a multi-track (Ian's Tascam, I believe)...my singing is very raw and untrained (some things stay constant), and the guitar playing is pretty basic. But thanks to my friend (and musical mentor), Ian....it has not been lost to the boxes of tapes from my life.

Ian digitized the tape. You can find it here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?un2hamt7z5554#13,1

It sounds better than I remembered it....both quality wise and sonically. I see where 20 year old Todd wanted to go with it. And who knows, I may dig out the four-track and give it another go.

Actually, there's not really a maybe about it....I know that music is much cheaper than therapy...and it's a part of me (as much as the writing and photography and filmmaking are)...it's an outlet...and thanks to this little OCD stint by a good friend...I've gotten the kickstart I need to get back in to the full-on writing (well, that along with finding myself back in a band-type situation)...

so...um. yeah.

Sorry for the ramblings. It's been a damn sight since I've 'blogged' too.

That feels kinda good too. :-)

PS my 3 top faves from the tape:

In the Temple
Duck on Acid
Zen 1992

Peace 0ut, yo.

-AT.

Politics...as usual....

2010-11-03T06:42:00.002-05:00

I've been eligible to vote for about 20 years now...and for the most part, I have.

Last night (well, actually this morning) as the results from yesterday's mid-term elections came in, I realized that...for the most part WHO is in office is somewhat irrelevant. As long as the SYSTEM stays the same, it doesn't matter who plays the role. It's the system that's failing the people. And anyone put in the role will ultimately wind up being both a temporary hero and a scapegoat.

I think I figured out the actual 'flow' of politics. If you'll indulge me here...no fancy charts or anything, but here goes.

*******************************************************************************
First start with SOMETHING...doesn't matter what it is...but we'll call it X for now.

Next, enter a candidate. This candidate will either try to get us to embrace X or if they are of the opposing party, they will tell us all the reasons we should be very very afraid of X.

Now, enter the media. The media, depending on which candidate pays them the most (or can further their exposure the most to the masses) will either reinforce that we should embrace X or should be deathly afraid of X.

This phase goes on for quite some time..in some cases it goes on for years.

As we approach the time to vote on these candidates, they shift their focus from being public servants (yes, politicians are ACTUALLY supposed to be serving us, the public)...but they shift from their hard work serving us to trying to secure their jobs for the next term...again by telling us how great X is for us or how awful X is and we can't possibly stand N more years of X (where N is the number of years, and X is the thing).

We, the people, Vote.

Yay. Democracy in action.

Another politician is elected. Depending on whether you liked or feared X, you are either happy or sad.

1 day after you vote, your life is the same. The Politician goes off to do their job of serving you.

This service results in a body of work. This work is supposed to ultimately help you, the voter, the boss, the one who gave them their job and are now, paying their salary. For the length of their term (up until about 6 months before it's time to vote again), the politician will be doing their job.

Let's call that job "X."
*****************************************************************************

The Who had it right in their song 'Won't Get Fooled Again'.....'Have you seen the new boss? Same as the old boss.

I guess, in terms of voting, I look for the person that's going to f**k up my life the least. But ultimately it doesn't matter WHO we elect. The SYSTEM is set up to assimilate any idealistic, moralistic individual that dares try to change it.

The irony is...the system WANTS to be changed, but the very way to change the system from within requires that you enter the system. And by the time you get to a place with enough power and influence to finally affect change to the system, you are assimilated. And then it's time to vote again. And someone younger, or taller, or prettier with better teeth or cuter kids will be electeed. And you'll be out. And the system will not be changed.

But you will. And we, the people will be changed to. More callous...perhaps some will be more afraid than we were before. Or a bit more apathetic. Some will be happy because their 'team' won.

At least in the short term.

Until it's time to vote again.

Euh...I suck at this

2010-10-05T20:57:00.002-05:00

I have been sorely neglectful of my blog. If the 4 of you that used to read this have abandoned hope of me ever posting again, I really wouldn't blame you.

My mind has been spaghetti lately...and not the good kind. It's been the shitty Chef Boyardee in a can spaghetti. And that's no good for anyone. Least of all the one that was using this blog as an outlet so shit didn't rattle around too long in his head (that would be me).

I just got done reading 'The Last Lecture'...holy shit. If there was ever a book that felt like a mental kick in the ass to live my dreams, it's that one. Shortly after reading it, I registered my domain (www.ipaintwithmylens.com)--don't click the link, there's nothing there yet (I'm still in 'baby steps' mode it seems...why is f*cking beyond me at this point, I'm not sure what (a) I'm waiting for or (more importantly (b)) Afraid of.

My hiatus as video guy at the church ended 2 weeks ago..so I'm back on that horse. There are going to be some bumps...and bruises along the way...but I finally feel like I'm on a mission again (and if it pisses people off because it's not what 'they're used to'...can't really help that).

And the photography is humming along...have done a couple family sittings...I'm getting asked about senior pictures and even had someone ask if I'd take 'glamour' shots for her s.o. ....not sure what that entails...I'm leaving that vague right now because well..I'm not sure if I'm gonna be a 'shoot anything that has artistic merit' guys...or just someone who shoots...well...clouds, and flowers, planes, and moons...with the occasional people shot...I haven't really had to cross that bridge yet. I know if I went to a photo-school I'd have to take ALL kinds of photos...but...um...how did we get here again? Ffffft.

So...yeah. I'm a shitty friend sometimes. I'm not even gonna lie. I've been known to only call people when I need something and assume that the friendship of days past will endure that kind of bullshit. And...I guess...when the chips are down...there are a few people that know me as well or better than I know myself. And those people are my true friends (and can see past my occasional self-absorption)....One of these had a death in his family this past weekend. And...I said the things you're supposed to say when a friend loses his mom...but the truth is...I don't really know what the f**k to say. I suck balls at being around death. But I love this guy. He's been through some hairy points of my life with me and was always a rock...and a voice of reason when shit just didn't make sense. So...if he reads this...he should know that while I know fucklittle of what he's feeling or going through, I've got the Dominoes and Dr. Pepper ready...and I'm pretty sure I still have the Killer Klowns DVD. So...um. yeah.

It seems pretty jank to talk about work after talking about dreams and death and stuff. But...work is fine. I spent last week in Indiana fighting a cold while being trained on a product that if our company starts selling it, could make lots of money for our company. woo.

I really don't know what else to write here. I guess I just wanted to see if I could get back in to the writing habit. Not sure if it's a successful attempt or not (but I know that I need to start writing more isht like this because truthfully it's the only thing that gets me out of my own head--which is vital some days).

Night.

-AT

The Facebook Experiment (Pt. 1)

2010-07-09T22:50:00.003-05:00

I think, in no uncertain terms, the Facebook experiment, while having seemingly positive benefits, is actually turning out to be an epic suck of mass-epicitude.

It is, for me, a time-suck. There is no way around it. It feeds in to my amazing lust for instant gratification. In less than 420 words and mere minutes, I can get instant feedback on how witty, clever, inspiration, funny, and douche-baggy I am. It's almost real time.

It's the illusion of being in a room with all your friends (or a bunch of people you think are your friends, or wish were your real-life friends..or..whatever, you get the f*cking point)...so, you're in this 'room' (which in reality is everyone sitting lamely in front of their pc, or reaching for their smartphones every 20 seconds to see if someone responded to their witty, clever, inspiration, funny, and douche-baggy post.

Only the rub is...people bullshit about stuff they would NEVER say if they were actually in the same room with the person. It's the Internet trap of 'implied anonymity' where you can get away with shit because people will assume that they must have read it wrong, that you cant' really be THAT much of an asshole in real life.

Did I mention it's a time suck? Because it is. It's a phenomenal waste of time. In the almost 2 years (or is it 3) that I've been on Facebook, I can count on my fingers (not sure I've hit my toes yet), the number of times the information I gleaned from 'the wall' was actually something that bettered my life in a 'wow, I needed to hear that' kind of way.

I have WAY more thoughts in my head on this, but the need to form themselves in to orderly lines before I let them loose here.

So for now, I'll dub this 'part 1' and let the shit percolate for the part 2.

peace out.

-(@)

WTF, Todd?

2010-07-07T22:03:00.001-05:00

Well, for the 4 of you that have bothered to check this blog in the last 5 months, I’m sorry. I ‘m a pretty shatner-y blogger these days. I joke about not being able to string a thought together for more than 420 characters, and damned if it isn’t coming true.

Thought I’d break things up a bit. Shit. I really don’t have any thing else to get in to right now. I REALLY need to get this attention-span thing fixed.

Soon. Not tonight. But soon.

Happy Memorial Day

2010-05-31T11:18:00.002-05:00

On this Memorial Day I thank my Papaw...I thank my Gramps...I thank my Dad. All of these men served our military...put themselves in harm's way and lived through a hell I will never know. Just so I could sit here in the land of the free and bitch about how tough life is (it isn't).

These men are my personal heroes. And to all the men and women who have served or are currently serving our nation, Thank You. Your sacrifices do not go unnoticed nor are they unappreciated.

-AT

Shooting for the Moon

2010-05-27T07:07:00.003-05:00

It's been a stupidly long time since I've updated and I feel like a sh*t ton of stuff has happened in my life since then...the Mexico trip (and all of its ensuing life/mind altering changes)...and just some other overall massively cool stuff.

And, as I'm at work right now, I don't really have the time to go in to all of it (the Mexico experience is at least 4 or 5 posts themselves).

How's that for a tease?

Suffice to say that I'm feeling blessed...maybe no more than normal, but perhaps I'm looking at things a little differently now and things I used to take for granted are really appearing in my life as blessings...I guess that's the key, isn't it. To recognize and accept and be thankful for the gifts we are given...every day (because we are).

To hold you over, a couple of pix from one of my favorite photo-subjects taken just last night:

Have a great day!!

-AT

Webix

2010-04-20T11:50:00.001-05:00

So, I’ve been head over heels for the strip over at Questionable Content-even though apparently I’m like 3 years past the curve on that one. And through that site, I’ve found some other web comics (or ‘webix’ as I like to call them) that have been quite entertaining, too.

There was a time I wanted to draw cartoon strips (I’ll gladly thank Bill Watterson and Scott Adams for that).

So for a while I dabbled with it. I have drawings here and there in journals from various stages in my life. But it was just funny…I got to thinking….

What would happen if I tried to do that again today? I mean, what if I decided I needed ONE MORE HOBBY??? LOL.

And this is what happened at lunch today.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the first episode of ‘Well Defined’

I’m not quite up on the lingo, so I’m not even sure if ‘episode’ is the right word….or issue….or panel….or what.

This is OBVIOUSLY a rough sketch. Although I really like the idea of calling something ‘Well Defined’ when clearly, it isn’t.

And I see so much sh*t on a daily basis that makes me laugh and think ‘wow-did that just happen?’ And it did. Life’s pretty freakin’ funny if you take the time to stop getting all bent out of shape by it. My biggest problem is that if I did that, I would want to put things in there that happened throughout my day…or put things in that would be what I REALLY wanted to say to some people.

And I think we can all agree that doing so would not end well.

But whatever. There’s one rough sketch in the can. And there may be more…who the hell knows?

That’s all I got for now. Time to get back to work.

There will be a more thorough entry later (along with an update to the photo blog from this weekend’s MS Walk-a-thon at the Columbus Zoo).

Until then, peace out homeys!

What the French Toast

2010-04-12T21:09:00.002-05:00

This truly was a crazy weekend. Friday night started with euchre and adult beverages and went in to the wee hours of the morn. Came home, crashed on the couch (didn't want to wake anyone). Then somehow, I woke up to my phone flashing (yes, it was on silent). So, I had to head over to the church to let them in for their meeting (apparently I was the closest on the 'key chain' for people who had access to the building)....headed out to my car only to find....

Driver and left back door were open (push closed against the car, but not latched). Thought it a bit odd....figure I may have been trying to get something on my way home from the euchre-fest. Upon closer inspection I realized that my car had been tossed. Can't really say it was broken in to, but it was tossed. Everything from the glove box was on the front passenger seat....the altoid tin was on the floor. That back seat was messy (no change there). The GPS was on the front seat. I tried to figure out what was missing.

As near as I can tell, they took both pairs of prescription sunglasses and my back up set of glasses. They LEFT the GPS (and the charger)...and a bunch of other stuff (including the garage door opener) in the car. The officer surmised that they were startled and didn't finish the job. Annoying. I really LIKED those sunglasses, too. But all in all, I figure I got off lucky.

I guess it was probably Karma for dissing another friend that I was supposed to meet over at Brewstirs for brewskis. All told, by Saturday night, I had heard of 6 other people in the neighborhood that got hit Friday night.

Stupid. I hate people who break in to cars. My last experience with that was in about 1989 or 1990 or so...I was over at Ians and we had just gotten back from (or getting ready to go to) Dominos for the requisite large pizza and 2 liter of pop (each). We got in my car and noticed that they had taken my tape case. Normally not a big deal. But this had all my Kid Chill tapes (and a few Devilcake tapes I think). Don't know how we found them, but we drove around Huber Ridge until we found some kids walking with my tape case. I don't think I spoke. I think Ian did all the talking. I just glowered and tried my very best Firestarter stare. It worked, I guess, we got the tapes back.

Fast forward 2o years later. They left the tapes...and took the sunglasses....what the french toast?!

Saturday was pretty uneventful after filling out the police report. I napped from about 1-3 (or 4)...we got Domino's for dinner and then hung around the firepit with the neighbors. That is my IDEAL summer evening (I'm a simple man at heart). One of my neighbors who is the laptop king...loaned me this beauty I'm currently typing on. No discussion was made of how long he'd let me hang on to it. I upped the RAM and dropped the 250GB harddrive in it that I got for my other (dead) one. I figure when I get enough scratch saved (way after the Mexico trip), I'll make him an offer on it so I don't have to worry about peeling off the Autobot sticker I've already put on there (it looks sweet, yo).

Sunday morning was church...great message about walking with the Spirit (it's a WHOLE other post, so I'll spare you that for now). Then over to Jherons for Sunday dinner (excellent roast and mashed potatoes. I'm sure the cabbage and broccoli was on point, too, but I don't eat them, so I didn't).

Then we met to discuss the Mexico trip/movie extravaganza.

It was a productive (albeit silly) meeting. We decided to be a little more realistic about it and go in with the intent of getting a 60-90min. documentary out of it (instead of a full blown series...there was just no way that was happening).

Ironed out some other details. I have to say, I'm getting pretty excited about the whole thing (even more so than I already was).

Sunday evening was pretty uneventful after that. I put together a stack of software I wanted to make sure I had on the laptop (and then proceeded to load it).

In more ways than one, this was quite possibly the quintessential Awesome French-toast weekend!

And because of that awesomeness, I was able to surf over some of the waves of suck that hit me at work today. I could go in to them, but really, there's no point.

I need to start working on the book/movie that's been floating around in my head now. As painful as the last one was to birth...this one might be more so. We'll have to see. This one may have a very limited viewership and truly just be written to keep parts of me from going batshit crazy (probably why I've hesitated to really start writing it...again..we'll see).

And with that, I leave you to what's left of your Monday.

-AT

F**k You, Murphy

2010-04-08T08:38:00.002-05:00

Few things make me unhappier than unexplained hardware failure.

Here's how it happened...about 6months ago...my wife got a virus on her laptop (this was the Averatec that had been my primary laptop/editing computer for many years). Thought I got it cleared off (I didn't). So the game plan was to wipe it and do a system restore. That kept failing. So, I set it aside with the intent to come back to it with a fresh head.

Then Sammy Chews-it-all came along and chewed the tip off of the power adapter, so that kind of ended that. I had a spare laptop set up and gave that to Nancy. I had the netbook by that time-life was good. I didn't give it a thought.

Until the Mexico thing happened. Then I got it in to my head to sell the netbook, get a new AC Adapter, get a new harddrive, and get the Averatec up and running so I would have something I could write on (like the netbook) AND something I could do edits and rough cuts on while we were in Mexico (which the netbook would NOT be able to handle). All of which happened--except for the 'up and running' part. Looks like it's a dead IDE controller, which pretty much necessitates a new motherboard-which would cost more than a new (or newer) laptop. Not to mention that I don't have that kind of money right now.

Which is, to say the least, frustrating. I have no spare laptop now (got the one set up for Nancy and set up the other one for my mom for her birthday so she could write), I have no netbook now, and I have a harddrive and AC Adapter that I can't take back.

What I do have is a portable DVD player with a 15" screen. NOT gonna help me much with editing /writing. But...if you know anyone that needs a portable DVD player, I'm letting one go for cheap.

And Murphy, you suck...you and your laws.

The internal dialog continues...

Somewhere in my brain is a book...or movie...or lyrics...or really bad weepy teenage girly poems waiting to come out. I tend to procrastinate about a lot of things, but it seems I'm getting a head-start on my mid-life crisis.

The funny thing is...it's not really a crisis, per se. In my head I know all the variables...I know the expected outcome (or at least the one that should be expected)...I think I know what things would or would not make me happy. So...what's the problem?

Well...normally the problem is that I think too damn much. And that seems to be the case here, too.

Without giving away too much...the theme I'm working on is...how much of the past do we, as people, really need to hold on to? What's healthy...what's not? That kind of isht. Why were things so much better in the good old days? Don't know really. I just know that there are some thoughts and ideas kicking around my noggin and that they MAY just be the key to unlocking this whole 'living as the best me possible' kind of thing...and achieving my dreams...fulfilling my life's purpose...and living a happy and fulfilled life.

You know...minor things like that. I'll keep you posted, but it's not going to be a play by play...some of the shit I'm sorting through is for my eyes/head/heart only. So...just know now that you will be getting the censored version...you can have your first amendment b.s. when it doesn't involve my heart/head/soul mmmmkay?

And really, that's about all I got for now.

Back to paying bills.

-AT

Not a Good Place Right Now

2010-04-06T07:13:00.002-05:00

I am finding it increasingly difficult to sit around and watch people act in selfish and self-serving ways. The irony of that, is that there are some very selfish impulses that I am, myself, fighting off.

There are times when I just want to pack up and go wandering...with whatever that may bring. Go somewhere...anywhere. See how long I could live off the kindness of strangers and friends. There are flaws, of course...that whole 'married with a family' thing...and a job...and bills--all of those responsibilities that make up my daily life.

So, at what point does sacrificing self for the sake of others cease to become noble and just become a reflection of a sad shadow of what you could have become if you'd only saved some of that love for yourself?

My mind and soul seem to be in a state of flux right now...searching for only God knows what. It's not a very comfortable place to be. What if through the searching I find that I've been doing it wrong? That the path I'm on is NOT really where I'm supposed to be and getting to the right path requires a complete upheaval of everything I know and love?

Luckily these thoughts are fleeting. Reserved for the corners of the night just before I fall in to a deep, dreamless sleep-and seldom make their way to the light of day.

This might be classified as depression. One year off meds-it's very possible that I'm backsliding. But the problem is...it's not that I don't want to do anything (as was the case when I was in my deepest depression-that only a few saw, and fewer still were able to pull me out of), it's that I no longer want to be doing what I'm doing. Like sometimes I wake up and find myself in a Talking Heads song...watching the days go by...

It might be more disturbing if I had not already convinced myself that a)this was a temporary thing, and I'd come to my senses soon enough...and b)I'm sure I'll get some great material out of this. And by 'convinced,' I mean 'mostly convinced.'

The thing is...I just don't know. My daughter has her doubts about the after-life. I myself am having my doubts about the life-after. The life-after my current job. The life-after my kids graduate high school and go to college. The life-after they go to college. The life-after that one day I wake up and realize that I'm nowhere NEAR to the person I wanted to be all those years ago.

Not my normal happy fare, I know. But the thing is...I have to get these thoughts out of my head. If I don't, I'll wind up going nuts. And having almost been there a few times, I can assure that it's no fun.

Please, though, don't worry about me. I've been down this road. I know how to get off of it. I just think I need to ride it out a bit. I think there was something on this road I missed back in 1999/2000 that I'm supposed to pick back up.

Just bear with me a little while longer.

-A.T.

Release the Kraken!!!

2010-04-04T20:53:00.003-05:00

Before you read this, you should know 2 things.

I am not a movie critic, reviewer, or skeptic. I'm a fan.
Clash of the Titans came out when I was 10 years old. It was quite possibly one of my all time favorite childhood movies (next to Star Wars).

If you're expecting a review based on...well, anything, then I'm sure there are other sites that will accommodate you and tell you that this camera angle was wrong or that bit of mythology didn't match up to the REAL mythology. I ain't that guy.

I'm gonna give you my 3 word assessment of the 2010 re-tread of Clash of the Titans.

IT WAS FUN.

Yup. Fun. It could have easily 'sucked' (and based on what some of you have said after you saw it, it did)...but to me it was a blast.

The basic elements were the same, but the best part of this was there were only a few times in the whole movie where I found myself trying to remember how the story went in the original. The update had a good feel...they kept the whole reluctant hero vibe...and they even resurrected an old friend from the original (Who? I won't tell you who- you have to see it on your own to figure out who).

Most of the characters were the same. Some were shifted around, others were brand new.

But enough of 81 vs. 10.

The point is, I had fun in this movie. I saw it in 2D because I know that was their intent (and it was only sent back for the 3D overhaul after the success of Avatar). 3D is the new bullet-time...but I digress.

Point is, I had fun. Which is why I dug the first one so much almost 30 years ago...it was fun.

And I felt like a kid watching it.

Which is always good when you're watching a movie like that.

What's great to me is they knew what they were making...they were re-making a cult classic. The original is no great piece of epic cinema...but it was fun. The movie posters should pretty much sum it up.

After that, you'll have to go see it and judge for yourself (but remember...have fun!)

-A.T.

1981:

2010:

Damn You Bryan Adams

2010-03-30T21:59:00.003-05:00

So...I've heard a few guitarist talking about playing until your fingers bleed..and then taping them up and playing some more (I'm sure Ian or Darrin can fill in a name...it's one of those metal guys I think)...but because my Metal Dictionary is severely abridged, my only reference to 'playing until my fingers bled' was 'The Summer of '69' by Bryan Adams. Yeah...stuff it...I know, ok?

(the top picture is more 'rock and roll'...the picture immediately above is more 'reality TV'...either way...the isht is sore.

I didn't notice it bleeding (didn't even notice that it split) until well after we were done practicing. I have 3 songs to work on and pretty much the same chords in all 3. The Journey song we're doing is down a key (to D) instead of the key was learning it in. And all the meedly bits I thought I would have to learn...I didn't have to. So...yeah...but at least that helped get the callouses back (Which had to happen anyway)...so that's cool.

Not sure how it's going to go on Sunday. The person that's going to be playing Sunday is not the same person I practiced with. So, it could be weird-we'll see.

It's funny. I didn't realize how much I really missed jamming. It's kinda like this blog. I didn't realize how much I missed posting crap on here on a mostly daily basis for all 4 of you to read. That is, until I started doing it again. It's funny-things that I really liked (playing (whether in a band or not), taking photos, writing)...I just kinda stopped doing them for a while. I guess it was probably a depression of sorts. The reasons are varied and none that I'd like to go in to here. But what's funny is that I just stopped them. And how easy it was. I guess that's the scary part...how easy it was to convince myself that I really wasn't happy doing those things and I just haven't found the one thing I was truly meant to do.

And that's true....I haven't actually found the ONE thing I feel that I've been put on the earth to do.

Nope. So far I think I'm to like 4 or 5 gifts that I'm supposed to cultivate. The prevailing theme, though, is creativity. I'm pretty sure God put me on this planet to be creative. To what end, I'm not entirely sure (but I have a few ideas about that). All I know is that I need to engage those creative juices as often as possible.

The rest will come over time as long as I'm true to myself.

Now I need to go get some tape for my fingertips.

Peace out, yo!

Weekend at Thrifty's & an Answer to an Age-Old Question

2010-03-28T18:43:00.011-05:00

Alright, first off, I want to just say that the new blogger editor is kind of annoying. There's a rant in the making, but it's really nothing that matters other than to me...when I can't find the cursor. Or the pictures upload wonky.

Now that that's out of the way....
This weekend was bananas (insert Gwen Stefani here if you must). Friday I was slated to hit my local-within-walking-distance-brewpub with some friends. That didn't happen. I'm on call this weekend, and lets just say I got called....put in the equivalent of an additional workday Friday night, came home, slept for 4 hours then went right back in at 6AM the next morning for a couple more hours and leave it at that, shall we?

Saturday afternoon, though, THAT was the event. Darrin was slated to hit Casa Del Skaggs at about 1 and we were gonna head up to Waldo for the World's BEST Bologna Sammich. But he was out and about already so he landed here earlier and we hit the road.

And we hit Waldo. And had bologna sammiches. And Darrin saw that they were good. And they were good.

There are pix here on the Facebook Album (although you may have to be one of my FB friends to see them, not sure how I have them shared). There was also some video taken, including an 11 minute 'as we're driving' kind of thang. I don't dislike any of you enough to post THAT. It was...in a word....not fit for public consumption. Darrin and I would laugh at it (because we were there). There were some other high points.

One in particular that comes to mind was the debate...actual struggle that was had trying to decide which bottom of the barrel pilsner Darrin was going to order.

And thanks to Blogger's new (not so helpful) interface, I can't post them.

**UPDATE** I got the OLD editor back. MUCH better!

Here's the initial though process behind which one to go with....

And then The struggle....

Finally...the decision is made..and the pour...

And then the food arrived. Darrin has his first bite of the world's best bologna sandwich (notice the little dance...this is NOT unique. I have seen this multiple times and have myself done this 'Damn This Sammish Is GREAT' dance).

After the sammich....and the curly fries (for me, Regular Fries for Darrin)....and the Munchers (think Jalapeno Poppers with potatoes in them)....and the Chocolate Creme Pie...we were pretty much done with the G&R Tavern that day and headed back on the road.

On the way out we passed a sign for a sports bar (also in Waldo) with Ribs....so, we put that one the list. Coming down 23 we hit the Goodwill Thriftstore just outside of Delaware. I miss thrifting. And I miss taking pictures of stuff that strikes me funny.

So, I did both :-)

The only pix I took, though, were of the albums I got (only 3, but oh boy...serious sample fodder, me thinks)...

That's Romania to the rest of you...

This will be good for sampling and laying down sound beds on the tracks that have lately been floating around in my head. Who doesn't like a good Gregorian Chant? And hey... from St. Thomas...I used to know some folks that lived on St. Thomas.

The catch, though, was this little gem. It's been QUITE a long time since any album has made me just stop and go WTF??? Thank you, Paul Hogan, for re-affirming my belief that no matter how much I've seen in my 38 short years on this planet, there will always be something that makes me pause and say...'Wow, man....that's effed up.' For 50cents how could I possibly pass it up?

And then we came home. It was a very good day. I chilled Saturday afternoon, watched Butler give a clinic to Kansas State (I know the world calls them K-State, but I've become partial to calling them KansasS).

And...somehow, somewhere in the evening (after I finished the 2nd half of the pie that kicked my arse in Waldo), I got in to NCIS...Dude. I knew when I saw Mark Harmon cap some pre-op tranny right between the eyes that I had found yet another impossibly cool crime drama to start watching. Word.

Today was pretty chill. Church in the morning (where I found out they 'need' me to play guitar next Sunday...yeah...Easter Sunday....no pressure there! But it's cool. I'm gonna have fun with it...and it's Journey, afterall...yeah...we're playing a Journey song at praise and worship...yeah-I know. It IS pretty cool!)

And that brings us to now.

The 'writing' goal for today has been fulfilled. Now I'm gonna hit publish...and then work on that 'riding' goal for today.

Hope your weekend rocked applesauce, too! In fact-tell me all about it!

-AT

My Legs Hate Me Right Now

2010-03-25T21:15:00.000-05:00

Hit the bike again tonight. 15minutes this time. Didn't even make it up to the 20 minutes I hit last night. I was a little disappointed, but my legs were like, 'guess what dude, we're done.'

I was hoping for a longer ride. But it's cool. Worked out to be about 3 miles. Got about 25 pages in to "The Portable Film School."

Jen needed tissues for school (extra credit to help bring up the Algebra grade which seems to have hit the obligatory 3rd quarter slump), so I let my legs off the hook with the bike...but they wanted VitaminWater (as did the rest of me...) so I said 'fine..you want it, we're walking to Kroger.' They didn't like it (and the rest of me really didn't like it when we found out it was rainy and windy. But I pressed on).

It's all about motion these days. It's about saying I'm gonna do something then doing it. It's a good feeling for me to be able to cross things off of a list as I finish them.

Ride...check.
Write...check.

Now I'm gonna chill for a few before I go to bed. Gonna wait for my legs to get past that noodle stage before making the trek up the stairs.

ESL

2010-03-25T06:50:00.000-05:00

So...this morning the alarm did NOT go off (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). I think I only threw the rest of the house schedule off by 10 minutes-not TOO bad.

Got ready, dropped Jen off at the bus stop and swung back around to pick up the work recycling (I'm on the green team, don't ask).

Took it to the Kroger near work, only to find that they did Newspaper and Magazine recycling only. Suxorz! So to console myself I hit the McDonald's drive-thru where the following exchange took place:

FEMALE CAUCASIAN VOICE (shut up, I can TOO tell): Welcome to McDonald's, would you like to try a hot something something mocha?

ME: Nope. I want a number 10 with a diet Coke and an Egg McMuffin, please.

MALE LATINO VOICE: melmome mica donna, ma'i hep you?

ME (slightly confused as I just GAVE my order): Yes, I'd like a number 10 with a diet Coke and an Egg Mc Muffin, please.

MALE LATINO VOICE: you juan nummer ten? Will there anything else?

ME: Yes, an Egg McMuffin.

MALE LATINO VOICE: you juan memmagmuffin?

ME: Egg McMuffin? Yes please.

MALE LATINO VOICE: ok. thas six fitty (mumble mumble) firss winnow.

ME: Um....thanks?

Somehow it seemed funnier at the time. But it got me thinking....(a)I REALLY need to just stop going to McDonalds (especially after getting to work only to find that the hash brown they gave me was closer to a charcoal briquette)...and (b) is it SO hard to staff the drive-thru that we can't find people that actually take the time to care about the language? I don't know. Perhaps my world view is more limited than I'd like to think, but I'm just getting sick of pressing '1' for English. Shouldn't that be the default in America?

I don't know, I don't want to go TOO far down that rant or else they might give me my own talk show (hahaha).

Alright. I'm done with this for now...I'm not really sure where it was going, I was just trying to figure out how Egg Mc Muffin devolved to memmagmuffin. And if that's enough of a warning sign to steer me off that fast food highway for a while.

You may now continue with your regularly scheduled day.

-AT

Fly Fat-a$$ Fly

2010-03-24T21:54:00.000-05:00

If you're on my FB friends list, this first bit will be a bit of a re-tread (can't be helped, didn't feel like limiting this to 420 characters AND it fills my other daily goal of writing...something).

So, if you've been following along, you'll know that in May I'm going to Mexico to help a friend make a documentary. I'm super excited about it.

I turned in all the stuff for the passport card on Tuesday. So that's all cool.

And starting on Monday I had down 2 new things on my daily planner; "WRITE" and "RIDE:30-45min." I don't normally finish all the things on my planner, but I figure if it's on there, I'll at least think about it. And yesterday I wrote a new blog post. Not a chapter of a novel or screenplay or anything, but it was writing (more than my flurry of FB status updates that spew forth like a freshman at their first intergalactic kegger).

Tonight, after folding the laundry (also on the list), I threw on my sneakers and grabbed Ghost Rider (which I was almost finished with--excellent book by Neil Peart, yes THAT Neil Peart), my Sansa and headed over to the stationary bike (which had been moved in 4 months ago in anticipation of this very night).

Got on, opened the book, hit play on Dabears mix ("That's Tasty") and started to pedal. It was just like...well..yeah. You know.

I finished the book at about 22minutes. Good thing too, because I don't think the noodles that used to be my legs could take much more. I cooled down, changed, and then came down here (and have been tinkering with my Blog template for like an hour, word).

And here we are. Riding AND Writing can be crossed off of tonight's list. Yay.

So, the thing about the riding. I know I'm not going to drop a TON of weight between now and May 9th, but something in the back of my head is telling me that I need to be working on my endurance and overall fitness before the trip. Traveling through 3 time zones is tough. Going to a foreign country is tough. Shooting a movie is tough. Doing all three at the same time could quite possibly be brutal and I have a feeling I'm gonna need some endurance and SOME level of 'fitness' to fall back on after all the adrenaline rush has come and gone that week. So, that's about where we are.

Getting back in shape.

Getting ready for the trip.

And getting back in the groove of stringing together more than 420 characters that aren't bookended by LOL and :-)

Thanks for coming along.

It's going to be an interesting ride, yo.

-AT

Mexico-A-Go-Go

2010-03-23T18:22:00.000-05:00

So, things are falling in to place.
I got my travel itinerary. What I thought was going to be a Monday-Thursday trip is in actuality a Sunday through Saturday jaunt south of the border. We fly out the evening of Mother's Day and are back the following Saturday evening.

In addition to the filming of the surgery (the actual point of the documentary), we will also have some time in San Diego and we will also have a day or so at the Mission in Tijuana. This is the mission that ICC is going to be partnering with this summer when we send people down there for ICC's first ever out of the country missions trip.

I have been getting mixed reactions when people learn why I am going down there. The first is "Do you KNOW what's going on in Mexico right now?!?!" Followed by "Why's he going down there to get surgery?!?!" The short answer is-wait for the documentary-that's one of the reasons we're making it. (well it answers the second question, not so much the first...which, yes, I know what's going on down there and I'll keep my ass out of jail and bullet-free....I promise!).

What's cool is that in addition to the strange looks (varying from 'WTF, mate?' to 'WTF, dude?!') is that I've been getting a plethora of sage advice for my trip. I thought I'd share some here:

Don't get thrown in jail.
Don't get caught in cross-fire.
Don't go down side streets at night.
Carry cash to pay off the cops instead of spending ANY amount of time in a Tijuana jail
Go to Puerto Nuevo for some good authentic lobster (I hate seafood, don't see this happening)
Know where the US Embassy is and always have a good exit strategy
Have a taco with meat 'of questionable origin and pedigree' as you walk across the border
Watch out for the white Russian with the bloody forehead at the border-he's a scam artist
Never put the wallet in a loose pocket (money belt is best)
Don't drink the water (how could I forget this one)
Don't open my mouth in the shower.
Don't eat salad
Eat salad
Drink bottled beverages
Teen hoodlums come out at night
NEVER ask about a 'Donkey Show'...EVER.

That's about all I've got for now. I'm sure I'll gather more along the way before the trip (roughly 8 weeks away).

I took my passport (card) application to the Post-Office today and got that ball rolling. The last time I had a passport I was 12. That was 27 years ago. But STILL the lady at the post-office made me fill out a 'lost passport' form. "It's not lost." I said. Doesn't matter, apparently. Even though the State Department web site said that if I was under 16 and something like 15 years had passed, then it's basically like starting over, like I never had a passport. On the form when they asked 'Did you report it stolen?' (no) 'If not, why not?' (because it's not lost, it's in a box at my parents). Hope that doesn't slow things up. But anyway, that's done.

Another piece to confirm the reality of the trip.

It truly is going to be exiting!

I can't hardly wait!!

-A.T.

OLE!

2010-03-19T08:45:00.000-05:00

So, if you've hit this page from my Facebook page, you may have seen a status update about 'the center buying the movie' and about me going to Mexico to make a documentary.

And yeah, I'm pretty jazzed about that. So here's the skinny on it (so to speak).

One of my friends from church is a larger dude (as am I, but that's a story for a different time). He's gone through all the tests, poking, prodding, medical hoops that his insurance has asked him to go through before they authorize the bariatric surgery (or one of those stomach surgeries) on him. And all his isht looks to be in order. But they still denied it. (Think we don't need health care reform?? Think again). So, they're denying this surgery that pretty much everyone EXCEPT the insurance company thinks he has to have. Which means it'd be paid for out of pocket. And I don't know if you've priced that stuff....but it's about the price of a nice car...on up to a small house. My man's a family man...travels for work, works hard makes an honest days wages. So that kind of scratch just isn't available.

So, he's been researching other options. And if you've done the same, you know that Mexico is a hotbed for this kind of surgery. Don't know why, but it is. So he's made the commitment to get the surgery done in Mexico for a fraction of the cost of what it would be here.

And this is where I come in. He had the idea of filming the whole process...from the time he made the decision all the way up to post-op and coming home and after. And, obviously there are parts he CAN'T film and be in at the same time.

That's where I come in. He knows my movies...my passion. He saw (I think) the documentary I did about my family farm in KY, "My Father's Eyes" and asked me to be on the crew. My duties are going to include camera, director, editor, sound dude, and whatever else comes up.

I think since we're down there for a few days (in San Diego for one day and Tijuana for the next 3), we're gonna try to film some other stuff, too. Short films, webisodes and whatever else we can come up with.

I know what you might be thinking...Mexico?? Dude! That's nuts. Yeah. Maybe. And I know that the thought of surgery in Tijuana can conjure up some raunchy images. Trust me, I went through all the same thoughts.

But here's what it comes down to for me.

I want to make movies
The expenses for this trip are mostly covered (travel and lodging are covered, just paying food)
I'd be making a movie AND helping a friend
I've never been to Mexico
I'd be making a movie
I'm gonna get some killer photographs, too, I'm guessing
Did I mention that it's 1 week dedicated to making at least one movie (with several potential shorts).

And yes, I know the dangers. I have talked to several people who have spent time in Mexico (and specifically Tijuana)...and I know to avoid the water...and the ice cubes...and mixed drinks. It's gonna be bottled drinks for me for the duration of the trip.

I appreciate the concern, but I don't plan on doing anything stupid. I don't plan on being a target. I'm not going to let anyone shove a balloon up my butt as I cross the border. I'll be fine. Really. :-)

I know the concern comes out of love...and I appreciate it.

The trip is planned for the 2nd week of May. I'll keep you all posted as this thing unfolds.

-AT

Bleeding

2010-03-01T15:01:00.001-05:00

I bought a notebook and a couple of new pens Saturday night before the Pub Crawl (I don't like to be ill-prepared if inspiration strikes.) I'm on the fence about the pens, but the notebook will suffice. Composition book format with quadrilled ruling. Works for me.

Been a long time since I just carried a paper journal. I have notebooks all over the house...dozens of writing files on jump drives....but the pen and the paper feels like...

home.

Just feels right for some reason. At this point I have no f**king clue what I'm going to write-lyrics, movies, stories? Who knows? The point of it all, though, is just to write.

write.

Bleed out on to the page. Whether the words are poetry or prose...lyrics or scripts. They must be bled. The writer must bleed. Those words may seem beautiful to anyone else that reads them, but to the writer they are poison.

The longer the writer keeps those words inside, the more he dies...a little bit each day...until the unbled words kill him.

Words that are meant to heal someone else must first be bled from the pen of the writer. And...by doing so, the writer winds up being saved, too. Everybody wins. The words find the people they were meant to find. The author has excised that demon....temporarily at least. Some writers only have one batch of poison they need to bleed on to the page. Some must bleed almost constantly it seems. It has been a long time since I have let the pen just go where it will. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't the least little bit anxious about it.

The truth is, though, I have to get some of these words out of my head, before it's too late. Melodramatic? Perhaps. It's no secret that I'm prone to theatrics and eccentricities. Either way....through the blog...through status updates or tweets, or through ink on paper...more words will be bled this year.

Hopefully that will be a good thing for everybody.

A.T.

Counting Blessings

2010-01-22T15:35:00.001-05:00

Apologies in advance (and retrospect,actually) for the sparseness of the posts thus far. It's not intentional. OK, actually maybe it is.

This really isn't any huge earth shattering kind of update (sorry if your hopes were up). This is more of a declaration of intent.

I have set myself up to have 2010 be my year to 'finish' things. Said "things" include the Crapumentary, various other shorts I've written but not shot, short stories, manuscripts, things at ICC that I need to get finished. This also includes jamming more....finally taking guitar lessons...shooting more photos...writing more music/songs...MAYBE getting back in to some kind of band scenario. It's my year to finish things.

I need to close some chapters before I plan on opening any more 'big things' (because there are a ishtload of things on my 'big plans for the future list'). It may take 2010 AND 2011 to finish these things-heck maybe even 2112 (assuming the Mayans were wrong)..and I'm OK with that. These aren't resolutions. These are goals that I need to reach before I make more plans/goals.

There is one exception to this. The Blessings Book. I've decided to go through and put together a book (or blog, the delivery is up in the air at this point) where I take the initials of someone I know, that's currently in my life, whether through FB, real life, work, whatever and I write a paragraph or 3 or 10 about how they have blessed me or been a blessing in my life. Some of these will come rather easily, some will be quite difficult, I'm sure. But I have no doubt that everyone in my life is there for a reason. And maybe something like this will help me put things in to perspective. I have to be honest, I'm nervous, and incredibly excited about this project. I figure if I use initials only, I can avoid embarrassing the person and also be a little freer with what I say. I may even go to a numbering system and just keep the translation table in another file (I haven't thought that far ahead yet). But i do eventually want to share each piece with the person it refers to. In the same way that my heart is filled with warmth and happiness when I know I've helped someone in some way big or small.

So...that's one more item on the 'Finish strong' list for this year...this season in my life.

Hope y'all come along for the ride....some of you may have bigger parts to play than you think. :-)

-T

--
Todd Skaggs
Harbinger of Creativity for the Masses.

This Really Isn't About You...It's about Me and God.

2009-12-18T15:50:00.001-05:00

**NOTE** This was originally posted as a note over on my Facebook wall. If it looks familiar, that's why.-ATS

First of, let me get this out of the way. I'm gonna talk about God in this note. If that's not your thing, cool. You probably want to click back over to Bejeweled or Collapse or Farmafiavilleyotown.

Still here?

Cool.

There is a recent status message on my wall talking about the Phase 1 and the Great Purging. And that's pretty much what this is.

ME coming clean.

Please hear me on this (and take this the way it's meant)...I don't care what you do-it's not my business. This note is not about you or your habits. It's about me and mine.

If you think that sounds harsh, read on-it's gonna make sense in a minute.

I worked for a computer store for 3 years...in another IT position after that, and I've been in my current job for 11 years (which is help desk at a software company).

So, lets cut to the chase. I'm a geek.

If you needed an MP3, a Movie, a piece of software...chances are I could get it. If I didn't already have it, I knew where to get it, or from whom to get it.

Which, if you're in a pinch, is a good thing.

But...when you're trying to get your isht right with God (as I am here lately), it's a hindrance.

See-this is where the "I don't care about you" part comes in. This isn't a judgement or condemnation or soapbox of anything you currently do. I know some of you get files, etc. I know this because we've exchanged files. You taught me, I taught you. We fed the fire. I don't care about that. I'm not putting this out there for you, it's going out the for me...to solidify my thoughts for the road I'm finding myself on.

It's funny. I always thought I was 'sticking it to the Man' when I circumvented the system.

*I'm a writer, but when I downloaded eBooks, I had it in my head that I was sticking it to the publishers...not fellow authors.

*I'm a movie-maker, but when I got movies,I swore I was sticking it to the studio/Hollywood machine...not other first time directors or fellow Indie filmmakers.

*I'm a musician...but when I got tracks,I was adamant that I was sticking it to the RIAA...not other bands looking for their big break.

*I work for a software company...but when I got the warez or cracks or keygens, I was for sure sticking it to the giants (Microsoft, Adobe, Sony)...not the guys coding shareware in their basement.

But I came the conclusion recently that I wasn't really screwing over ANY of the people I thought I was.

In the end I was screwing myself over. Well, me and God.

It's like this (if you can stay with my twists and turns, then bravo, but here goes)....

OK...file sharing, warez, cracks, torrents, mp3 sites (even going back to napster days)...that's 'normal' now...right? I mean teens know how to find any song they want (and some of them even pay for them on iTunes, Amazon, etc)...or videos.

It's become accepted. Kind of a spoils of plunder thing. If you can do it...and get away with it it's not really theft, right? The world doesn't see it as 'wrong' anymore.

No, really, I'm right there with you,dude...this was kind of a huge shift for me. I could rationalize 100 ways to Sunday why it was ok...hell, even RIGHTEOUS that I got all this isht without paying for it.

But it's still theft. I see that now. Quite clearly.

I started seeing the cracks in my logic when I started editing things at home for ICC. It was like..'ok...I'm editing this video that's supposed to show people the glory of God, but I'm doing it on illegal software.'

That's kind of jacked up yo.

And then the other day, in the shower (where all great ideas hit me), it hit me.

It would be like Moses wearing stolen sandals.Picture this...Moses comes down from the mountain...and he's got the tablets...and they're glowing with the glory of God...and he's completely jazzed to start sharing that,right? And then some dude's like...'um...yo, Moses....what up with the kicks?'

And Moses would be like..."well...you know Reebokodemas is a huge behemoth in the sandal game but yo, their business model is so whack...I figured if a pair came off the wagon, they'd never miss them. And it's not really hurting anyone. They're just shoes. So anyway, let me tell you about these commandments...'Thou shalt not steal....''

Kinda jacked up, right?

I know, know, know KNOW that I've got some great things afoot in my life. And I know that they are directly related to my relationship with God. And I can ask him time and time again to forgive me of my sins-and He will-and that's AMAZING to me.

That only works if I ask for forgiveness. If I don't think I'm doing something wrong...I'm never going to ask and I'm just going to keep carrying that thing around with me....and what if that thing that I don't think is wrong is sitting there infesting a place that needs to be clean and clear for whatever God has in store for me?

Lately I feel like all those 'little things' that I know are wrong, but are 'OK' according to popular opinion have just covered me like a film.

Thousands of songs....hundreds of movies...thousands of eBook...hundreds of software apps...that's a lot of gunk. Easily 200, 300 GB of harddrive space.

I know it's apt to sound preachy or soapboxy. But I really don't care about your stuff. I'm just telling you why I'm cleaning stuff up on my side. And if you ask me if I want that new joint that just dropped, I'm gonna tell you 'no thanks.' If I didn't pay for it, or rip it from a CD or vinyl LP (or DVD or VHS) that I OWN, then I don't need it right now.

And don't get all weird...I really don't think of you any more or less because you still play that game.

I mean, that's really what it is. It's a game. How long can you get away with it? Truthfully? A pretty long time....I'm probably going on 20+ years now...longer if you think back to computer club in 8th grade when we'd all gather around the apple IIGS and play PooYan that someone had cracked.

I'm not going through the purge because I care about what the 'authorities' say. This isn't about the RIAA, courts, Hollywood, SPAA...it's not about any of them. It's about me being able to talk to God. And this stuff....that has seemed so harmless for all these years ...s blocking me from hearing what I need to hear and doing what I need to do on my path to unwrapping the Gift God sent me to be.

So...that's really what it's about. One more acknowledgment that I'm IN the world, but not OF it...and I have to start doing some things differently for me...because I've gone on too long without fully hearing God. And that's hurt all areas of my life.

So, Moses, drop the sandals. We got enough gold between us. We can BUY you some kicks. And now, hit us with those commandments again, mmkay?

Heavy man, heavy.

Rock And Roll Hoochie Koo-Rock Camp Style

2009-12-14T19:19:00.004-05:00

Age (and time) soften most things. I have to admit I was kind of a dick during parts of my Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp experience. Most of it was simple misunderstandings and mis-managed expectations. I'll take part of the blame. And I'll pass on the rest.

And then there's the taxes. Yeah. That cheesed me off. $4000 grand in taxes on my 'prize' was a blow to the nards. Not gonna lie there. I'll probably grumble about that until it's paid off (which I think is like in 2013).

But ... in all honesty, folks, it was an AMAZING experience! And it was truly a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing for a cat like me. And I say 'for a cat like me' because, apparently the RRFC folks have a massive re-up rate on people who repeat the camps. At the one I went to, I met 4 or 5 people for which it was their 3rd, 4th, 7th, camp. Crazy. At least for me. $10K a pop just isn't something that's in my budget.

Which is why I always think it's funny when I get emails from David Fishof and crew telling me about up coming events and camps and blah blah. I mean, it's neat and all, because it makes me feel like I'm a part of it all, but by the same token it puts a bold emphasis on the fact that I am NOT of that world...it really was the pauper in the palace.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this...it's on my mind because of the recent email I got from him about February's camp (and some of the extra-curriculars going on with it).

I replied to the (very well written) form letter with a polite "David, that sounds awesome, but unless you have a scholarship program, or want to sponsor me as your resident 'blogger/photographer,'-I'm gonna have to pass until I win the lottery (or another GuitarCenter Contest)" Not sure if he'll answer me back or not. After 2 years I'm not even sure he remembers me. And that's cool.

I still remember the camp. And the jamming...and the State Theater in Phoenix...and the Hard Rock in Vegas...and the Filmore East in San Fran...and the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd in L mother effin A.

It really was a blessing...all bullshit and bitching aside.

That's really the key with memories, isn't it? Peeling away the BS and remembering the good stuff.

Yup.

I'm off next week (shouts out to I and D if you wanna try to hook up)...so hopefully there will be more posts.

Peace out for now.

-T

**UPDATE** Got an update from the man, DF, himself. It was cool. Told him I'd save my pennies but if he wanted to sponsor a blogger with mad photo skillz, look me up (ok...I didn't word it quite like that and he did let me know that did 'feel so bad that guitar center made you pay the taxes but... look at the bright side.' Don't worry David, I've come to grips with the bright side of it (and the rest). It was amazing. And there'll be a whole chapter in my memoirs on 'Things I Learned From Rock And Roll Fantasy Camp' :-) And Happy Holidays to you, Mr. Fishof.

Multi-Tasking

2009-11-30T22:04:00.003-05:00

Well, after a 9 1/2 work day (minus the hour for lunch which consisted of sitting for 43 minutes at the license bureau to get new tags), I'm home.

It's very tempting to say that I'm getting in to a rut. But the problem with that is, if I say it, I'll start to believe it. And if I start to believe it, I'll start to live it. And if I start to live it...ladies and gentlemen, I'm forked. As in put a fork in me, I'm done.

Ruts suck. Been in a few in my short 38 years on this earth.

But I'm not in a rut. I'm multi-tasking. I'm working on cleaning up (read: Speeding up) a friend of a friend's laptop (ironically it's the same model that I'm trying to trade my Netbook for, but the dude on Craigslist keeps harping about 'partial trade' bzzzzt. pass), I'm also copying files from a jump drive over to ye olde Sansa View which Jen is using temporarily since her 2nd of 2 Sansas died the other day and it's still 26 days until Christmas. And I may be a strict father at times, I'm not cruel enough to deprive her of a portable listening device.

So that's happening as well...oh, and I'm updating this blog. AND a few Facebook statuses. And thanks to a connection from college, I may in the near future be doing a blog piece on what it's like to go from XP to Ubuntu to Windows 7 on a Netbook (and if it's truly the bees knees as they say, I'll probably just hang on to the netbook (although I might have mentioned either here or on FB that the small screen is starting to annoy me just a tad..but until I come up with $400 for a new notebook, I'll live with it. Especially since if I DO come up with that scratch, there's a strong chance it's going toward camera gear. Go figure.

Crap. where was I?

Oh yes, Multitasking.

I don't do it very well. I'm not gonna lie. I'm much better off when I zero in on a specific task and see it through to its natural conclusion. People make a big deal about being able to multi-task, but I'm of the opinion that true multi-TASKING is impossible. Oh..sure...it may be possible to be physically working on one task but you can very rarely devote your full attention to multiple tasks. I hate to break it to you, but very few computers multi-task either. They are multi-threaded. One program starts....takes a thread and runs with it. Another program starts...takes another thread...both independent of each other, but dependent on the system as a whole.

Where was I? Oh. You don't know. See I was over chatting with my college connection. Turns out I can't get a pro-bono edition of Windows7, but it's all good. I am not completely overrun with curiosity about it yet. I'm in a holding pattern right now with my gear. I need what I have to continue working until MOTIV8 Design really takes off and I can get an iMac to do my editing on (or a Mac Pro tower, but that's a couple years down the road, the iMac is more reasonable).

This really is a ramble. Feels like a book I once read that I wrote. Well, not a book, book. More of a collection of freeform thought vomit or something of that nature.

Did I mention we got the Christmas lights up? We did. They're here.

I ...hmm. Really I'm not sure where I was going with this.

That's not multi-tasking...that's trying to do to many frickin' things at once. Doesn't quite work as well as we'd like to all think it does. At least not for me.

See...there's a whole lotta shit I want to be doing with my life right now that if I can pull it off well, will not only satisfy my soul AND pay bills. But right now it's not doing much of either. Because I gotta work for the man to pay the bills, there's not much left of me for the soul-satisfying. But soon. I'm working on that.

I'm working on a system. I'm much better at systems than I am at trying to do multiple tasks. This system involves me better managing my time between my job...my family...my walk with God...and my hopes and dreams.

Gotta get that balance.

And it's gonna happen. And I hate to cut this short, but I only gave myself so long to work on this before I focused on something else I needed to get done. And right now, that time is up.

peace out.

Oh...I and D? Jamming, hanging out, pizza, movies, guitars...I don't care what it involves...we just need to do it soon. Like Saturday the 12th? That work for y'all? lemme know. Because 'friendships' also go on that list up there. :-)

-T

For My Birthday, I Maked You a Song

2009-11-25T10:26:00.001-05:00

I'm still not sure I would call the cutting and pasting stylings of what I do in Acid writing a song. Technically all the bits are there and I'm just assembling them in to something bigger than the sum of the parts. But semantics aside, I dusted off the old sample files and made a little birthday ditty I call Thirty-Eight. Enjoy. It goes best with yellow cake and chocolate icing (but I leave it up to you to choose your food accompaniment).

It's been over a month since I've updated this blog (much like the last post, I'm guessing). And it's not like there's not a lot going on. It's just that when I actually have a few minutes to chill, I don't really feel like updating ye olde blogge. So I usually throw about 20 games of Bejeweled down the suck-hole and call it a night.

I don't really want to delve too much in to work right about now because well, I'm at work and it's just not something I want to spend anymore time thinking about at this point than I really have to. That was one of the main reasons I took my customers and co-workers off my Facebook page....just needed some time that is MY time where I can just not think about anything that's going on here. And in the grand scheme of the world, things are fine. I'm employed, and it's a decent job. And it mostly pays the bills and there's generally enough left over each month for a pizza. And the benefits are on par with many places. So....there's really not much to bitch about. I'm sure the low morale and other assorted bull-isht would manifest itself anywhere I worked. Signs O the Times, I suppose.

In other news, I've been doing more with the photography (yeah, I know, that blog is in serious need of an update, too-perhaps this weekend). I'm also doing more with the ad agency. I don't want to put too much about that on blast just yet (see above paragraph). We're probably a whiles away from it being any kind of full time gig-so I'd rather not lose the job I have. 2010 is going to be a nutty year at church, too. And by nutty, I mean nutty-busy. The video ministry is going to be getting a ton of work and things we need to work on (now we just need to get more volunteers to help with all of it :-)

For some reason, the creative/witty juices that I normally draw on for these posts are a bit lacking today. Maybe its just my body's way of getting ready for the inevitable food coma it's going to be in tomorrow afternoon. Maybe it's just because I haven't written anything longer than the average facebook status update for over a month. Or maybe it's just a combination of all of those things coupled with feeling like the 6 people out there have other things they'd rather read :-)

Whatever the reason, I think I'm gonna go ahead and close this post out now instead of dragging the proverbial dead camel.

I'll update some more tonight, methinks.

Peace out

-ATS

Long Time Gone

2009-10-12T21:05:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the recent bouts of MIA-ness. I know my 4 followers have probably found more interesting things to read by now, but that's cool. Here's just a little bit of the flavor that's been floating in ye olde byle ductes lately.

Dream Conference 2009. What is it? Well, for one, it's over this year. For twosies it was a weekend filled with teachings speakers and presentations that focused on how to unlock the dreams God has placed in side each of us. Don't worry, I'm not going to pass a plate around and take up an offering or anything like that. But, to be fair, I've been delving back in to the wells of my faith and finding that it's not always as shallow as I'd pretended it was. Looking back over my life there have been many times where the only reason I'm even here typing this out right now is because of a deliverance from God (and not in a Warren Beatty/Burt Reynolds kind of way, either). But those are stories for other times and places.

The other thing that's been taking up so much time is MOTIV8 Design Group. Without saying too much, I'm one of the partners of a growing ad agency that already has a few projects under our belts and working toward more. I'm doing a lot of photography/video/creative design work with the group. And I'm actually loving it. It's complementing my analytical/tech support side very well. I'm not sure when it'll be a full time gig-probably not for a while yet (at least for me), but you never know.

I've been doing a lot of photography,too. Engagement pictures, family pictures, and this past Saturday I shot a wedding. Yeah. Photography. Steven did the video work and I did the shutterbug. And I have to say---it's a lot of frickin' work. Two things I need if I continue to do weddings (and the jury's still out on that one)--a faster flash. The used flash I bought is fine for portrait or outdoor shots (as a fill light), but a 3 second recharge is WAY too slow for event photography. I definitely need to save up for an SB600 or SB800. And I also need to pick up a 50mm prime lens (I actually want to pick up one of these anyway for portrait/family shoots). So..um. Yeah. I'm geeking out on the photography aspect in ways I didn't think possible back in the days of the fleeting 'gee, I'd like to have a DSLR' thoughts...now that I've got one-holy crap---all I want to do it shoot pix! (but I temper myself because I can't provide for my family on photography alone just yet).

Shifting gears to the geek realm...I'm dual booting the NC10 into Ubuntu now. And for the past 3 weeks have been running only Ubuntu on it with varying degrees of success (all of them high enough to keep wanting to run linux on it). I will probably look into putting Sandbox on it so I can have a virtual XP machine that will host my work's VPN client and IE7, both of which I need if I plan on using my netbook to remote in and do work from home.

Upcoming projects include editing and color correcting 500+photos from the wedding....editing and mastering the DVDs of the Dream Conference...working on promos for International Christian Center....playing more guitar....trying to get out and photograph the changing leaves...finishing up the studio/downstairs re-org project....fixing up the 4 computers that friends have given me to work on...projects for M8D....watching Bubba's Chili Parlor again (yes, again. I popped that sombish in as soon as I got it from Amazon)...going to see Zombieland...and seeing if I can get my body used to fully functioning on 4-5 hours of sleep a night (or maybe every other night).

So how things been with you?

2 LEGIT 2 um....something

2009-10-02T04:56:00.002-05:00

So, I stumbled across some anti-piracy videos from the early 90's thanks to a blog on the Videomaker site. Now it's pretty funny and cheezy (and there's even a follow up here that was presumably made in this decade).

I'm not gonna lie...I've hit the newsgroups like a pimply kid on prom night. And I've gotten my share of ill-gotten booty. But yesterday it kind of hit me (and maybe it's the fact that I'm wanting to be a better example for my kids who are keenly aware of that stuff now...or maybe it's the fact that RoadRunner doesn't have newsgroups anymore)--I'm getting pretty bored with the whole 'I can get any software, movie, mp3, DVD, blah blah' thing.

I realize that there is the massive potential for hypocrisy out the arse with this. I mean, afterall, I have thousands of MP3s...some going all the way back to the Audio Galaxy and original Napster days (before file sharing was illegal-ha!), but going through the list stacked up in Media Monkey I started thinking to myself...'I never listen to this. the only reason I have this is because I didn't pay for it'...and that's getting to be a pretty weak-sauce argument these days.

A couple of years back, I took the plunge and purchased a legit, licensed copy of Sony Vegas 8 Pro. I've used Vegas for 10 years now, but this is the first time I'd paid for it. I looked at it this way, I'm putting videos together for my church-something seems a bit wrong doing that on illegal software.

I know all the arguments-"If I like the album, I'll buy it"...."I go see the artists in concert, that's where they make their money anyway"..."Cool Whip tastes better than Hellman's"....and the fact of the matter is...if they served me a warrant, there's not a lawyer alive that could get me off.

But I'm really not even worried about THAT. I don't file share. I don't torrent. And now I don't even download. So, I'm not really on anyone's radar. What I've been thinking of lately is...what kind of example am I setting? We make the kids buy all their music through iTunes. To be legal.

Meh. This is a really weird post to write...but I've seriously been thinking of deleting all the shit that's on my drive and starting over with only legit stuff starting back with the OS and working my way up from there. I've already started the process on the Netbook. I have Ubuntu loaded and fully functioning now and it's damn near ready for me to forget about XP on that thing altogether (I'd forgotten how much more efficient with resources Ubuntu was).

It would free up a hell of a lot of space on my drives (about 300GB if you factor in MP3's, software, videos)...and it would free up a lot of bookshelf space for the shite I've already burned off to disk.

Maybe I'm going soft. Or maybe I just feel like I want to brush off anything that might hold me back in whatever way from reaching my dreams. It would look really really phenomenally bad for a filmmaker or photographer or partner in an ad agency to be cranking out legit work on stolen goods.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna go all Jimminy Cricket on anyone. I don't care what you do or don't do. I'm just thinking that I need to clean some isht up in my own life and that's as good a place to start as any.

Work Time/Play Time

2009-09-16T06:27:00.002-05:00

You may recall back here that I had a little epiphany about why it was probably a good idea to remove customers from my Facebook Page. I'm coming to a very similar conclusion about co-workers, actually.

This one isn't easy from the simple fact that I'm good friends with some people here. So-why go this route?

It just seems like the right thing to do right now. There are some things I'm working on in my life-some dreams that I feel the Lord is going to release through me and out in to the world (don't worry-this isn't going to turn in to a sermon). It's no secret that I love to write, that I love to make films, and that I love to make photographs. Someday I hope to be making a living doing a combination of any or all of these things. But with the economy what it is, I'm not quite there yet.

I use my Facebook page to spout off...to pontificate...to call people a jackass if they deserve it (or I think they deserve)...and I think many people use it for a very similar purpose. Problem is...there may be times when I want to do all of those things and it might be related to a day I've had at work. Now I'm not stupid enough to do something or say something that would put my job in jeopardy-at least not from my point of view.

But point of view is the problem, isn't it?

I can't control where you're coming from when you read my page. And I'm not really wanting to have to censor what I say because I think it might be taken the wrong way or because something might filter to people its not supposed to filter to.

This could very well just be paranoia, and I recognize that. My true friends are probably going to recognize where I'm coming from, and the rest pretty much just is what it is.

And that's really all I've got on that....and don't worry...when I get to the point where my dreams are being fully realized... you may be getting that 'friend request' again :-) (and if we truly are friends, you know what's going on in my life without silly Facebook status updates, anyway, don't ya?)

Thanks for being patient with me.

Not Worth It

2009-09-13T22:13:00.001-05:00

I had a huge rant forming in my head about what an ass Kanye was on the MTV VMA’s, but that really just raises more questions than it answers. And he’s going to get enough press out of it without my piss of a blog.

And that’s about all I have to say about that.

Hanging on a wing and a prayer

2009-09-07T21:14:00.001-05:00

I saw something pretty amazing yesterday. A woman, secured only by a belt around her waist was on the top wing of a bi-plane.

And I thought to myself ‘boy…you really kinda have to trust the person you’re working with to do THAT kind of job.’

My job in tech-support is not quite like that. I don’t have to trust my co-workers with my life. If one of us makes a mistake, then we figure it out-give the customer the right bit of information, apologize for the screw up and go along our merry way.

I’m guessing ‘Amanda’ on the wings of her hubby’s plane would not appreciate any kind of mistake humming along at 60+ MPH.

Where am I going with this? Not sure. But before I get too far into it, shouts out to I- and D-. Congrats you guys on both of your recent moves. Hopefully you’re past most of the stress involved with moving and in to the new ‘how do I fit here and make this place my own’ phase. Looking forward to checking out the new digs.

Back to the unknown journey.

I feel like I’m in flux right now. Things are…well…they are what they are (let’s just put it that way) at work. I’ve been trying to put the current situation in perspective given the 11 years that I’ve worked there, and I have to admit I’m a bit baffled. I have to think that the economy has a lot to do with it.

Rather than dwell too much on that, I’ve been focusing my energies on the things that are brining me joy (namely working on the movie, shooting photos (and REALLY getting in to that), building up the team at ICC in the Video Ministry, and trying to be the best hubby and father I can be—given that laundry list, it’s easy to not worry about how things are going at work, which is a good thing).

I really don’t have much more than that right now, I guess.

Other than to say-sorry I haven’t written more. But I’m hummin’ along and doing fine. Hope you are all doing the same.

-ATS

My First Camera

2009-08-16T21:02:00.001-05:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minolta_110_Zoom_SLR

This was actually my first camera (that I remember). I think I may have had (or used) a 110 Ektachrome at some point, but this was my first real camera.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 12. It was Christmas and the camera was a gift from my Gramps. I was going to France the following spring and needed a good camera. And this was (in retrospect) a great one. Manual Focus ring (that I never got the hang of when I was 12). Manually adjustable light compensation (again that I never got the hang of when I was 12).

There was the opportunity for some amazing pictures. But most of my pictures from France (if I even knew where they were) are blurry. And that sucks.

But I figured it out today…that’s how far back my interest in photography went. Earlier actually. I can remember my dad developing photos at home. He had a good rig (Pentax, I think..maybe Yashica?). Gramps I’m pretty sure was a Minolta man. My brother later would prove to be a Nikon guy. And I was pretty much wide open…I settled on Fuji later in life when I went into my Point and Click Phase.

I very recently went the way of my brother and became a Nikon guy. And I’ve been very happy with that decision.

So, why all this nostalgia about my first camera? More of a discovery really. I figured out WHY I love video so much. It’s pretty much because I love Photography. And it’s a way to get a bunch of pictures in on place.

But I’m finding that I’m getting more of a center back in the single snapshot of a moment in time. Frozen.

I’m not sure where this was going. Other than to say that I miss this little Minolta. I wonder where it went. I wonder if I found it, if I could still get 110 cartridge film for it? Sounds like a winter project.

There’s been a whole bunch of stuff going on elsewhere in Todd-land, but I thought I’d just get this little random blip out there while it was still floating in my head.

Peace out.

-AT

(oh, if you’re new, the fruits of my Photoddgraphy can be found over here http://photoddgraphy.blogspot.com).

Only 10,000??

2009-07-28T08:07:00.001-05:00

Henri Cartier-Bresson said that "your first 10,000 pictures are your worst."

I checked my photo-hard drive this morning before heading to work and it had 13.576 files on it. That’s since 2005. I’m pretty sure that they aren’t all single files (in fact I recently adopted the practice of making dupes of my files before editing). So, even assuming for dupes, let’s say there are 7,000 unique shots on the drive since 2005. Given that math, I’ve got about another 2 years to go before my ‘worst’ shots are behind me.

Of course I’ve taken film shots from an early age, so the likelihood of me already being past my 10,000 worst pictures moment is high.

And that makes me feel good.

I figure I almost have enough for a book on clouds now (I’d want to get a few more sunset and sunrise shots for the catalog, but other than that, my cloud book is almost set). I’d call it ‘Search for Silver Linings.’ It can be a noun (as in MY search) or a verb (as in, you there, GO SEARCH). I’m not sure how far away we are from it, but I think it would be neat.

In other news, had a great phone call with D yesterday. I know that with the interwebs, we can all still ‘feel connected’ but there’s still something about hearing a voice or hanging out in person that’s pretty damn cool.

Here’s one of the images in my head that encapsulates my friendship with D.

That was taken a few years ago when we were recording “Side One, Track One” (a neglected blog I started that contained complete album sides along with colorful commentary before and after the music played).

Yeah, a hanging out session is definitely in order.

For those of you (3 or 4 that read this) wondering about work. It’s cool. Lots o’ things happening and it’s going to be an interesting Fall (and I mean the season, not the verb). And that’s ‘interesting’ in a good way (not the way that wives use it when they think their husbands just did something completely retarded).

Other than that, I’m not really sure what’s blog-worthy these days. I’m (really) living the dream. And right now the dream is either having a national premier of a movie on the theaters country-wide OR having a photo on the cover of National Geographic OR a gallery show (or, eff it…how about ALL THREE??-That’s not out of the realm of possibility).

How about you? How is everyone out there in bloggy-blog land doing these days?

Letting Go of Customer/Friends

2009-07-25T18:04:00.003-05:00

So...most of my regular reader(s) know that I work for a software company. My position there is Customer Service. So, basically I solve problems and interact with customers via email or phone until said problem has been solved.

It's cool. I've been there for 11 years. Don't worry-this post isn't going where you think it might be.

So...11 years. And now, enter social media.

Yes, I'm on the Twitter. I tweet about 1 time every 2 months. Don't get too excited.

I'm also on the Facebook. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to call me a Facebook junkie.

So...social media+customer service+dealing with most of the same people for 11 years= people on my FB Friends list that are also customers of the company I work for.

This has been mostly fine until yesterday. I had a particularly frustrating email from a friend (that has since been resolved, thank you very much). And on FB I posted that I was frustrated, but I was letting things go (meaning letting go of the frustration).

My mistake was posting this during business hours. I was informed that with as many customers as I had on my friends list, I couldn't be posting things like that during the day.

And it's true. I'm not going to bitch about the person that told me this or any kind of evil corporate censorship, because that's not my take on this.

Basically...the potential is HUGE for my posts on FB to be misconstrued. I am sarcastic and somewhat cynical in nature (I know, right?!)...and I'm usually not afraid to spout out whatever's going through my head.

And this could be bad. Bad for business.

Look at it this way.

You're a customer of mine. You and I are on the phone for 2+hours working on a tough issue. You know I'm frustrated about the call (not at you, necessarily, but the problem). And you and I go home later and you see that I've posted something like "Man...that effing call today was about to freak me the eff out...can you believe that b**ch??!!!???!"

Now....what you didn't know was that at some point during the day I also got a call from an attorney...or the IRS...or anyone else that pissed me off.

The likelihood of you asking me about "the call" that's referenced in my status message is slim. The likelihood of you assuming that I'm bitching about our call earlier in the day is slightly higher.

And that's bad news. Because all of a sudden our working relationship is now damaged by something that had nothing to do with work.

Or...on the flip-side. I read on your post that you're excited for the SAP visit Monday. Now, seeing that they are a competitor, I've got cause for concern (never mind the fact that is the warehouse module of SAP and you happen to think the rep is cute and it has nothing to do with our software at all)...again..there's tension and I'm likely to make assumptions.

And that's just on Facebook alone. What about Twitter where we're limted to 140 characters? There is NO room for clarity, and commenting on tweets isn't as straightforward as commenting on FB posts.

So, basically, after talking with my supervisor and fellow co-workers...I'm coming to a conclusion. And it's as simple as this-I need to be pro-active and self-regulate this before a policy comes down.

I am going to take anyone off my friend's list that is also a customer of the company I work for.

This sucks, somewhat, because I am friends with a lot of you. We've met at user conferences...or when you're in town for trainings.

Nope, not an easy thing, but I think it's probably going to be the best thing for now. If it looks like such a policy isn't coming, then I'll re-add you all (please don't take the 'drop' the wrong way...it's just 'safer' for now).

Know this, too. No one forced me to do this. I'm doing this of my own choice. It's just necessary for now. I don't want to be in a position where I'm afraid to post something that might be taken the wrong way...and I don't want to make things more difficult for my employer (and certainly don't want to think that anything I've posted could jack up my job...I'm not ready to walk away after 11 years,I have a little too much vested there to get sacked over something silly in facebook).

On the bright side. the photo-blog and this blog are open (not invitation-only), and most of you have my email address. So, we will still be in touch (especially if you have support questions).

Have a good weekend, and (maybe) talk to you next week.

-Todd

Three Ddot Night

2009-07-25T17:56:00.002-05:00

Did this on FB a while back (I think)...but I'm guessing my answered changed somewhat. Got this from IcyStewart's bloggy blog. Enjoy.

THREE NAMES I GO BY:
Todd, Dad, Skaggy

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
Clintonville, Westerville, Columbus

THREE PLACES I'VE WORKED:
Abbott Foods, MicroCenter, AstuteSolutions

THREE THINGS I LIKE TO WATCH
Chuck, Heroes, Deadliest Catch

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN
France, Las Vegas, LA

THREE PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME REGULARLY:
Dad, CircuitCity, Steven

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
Pizza, White Castles, Deep Fried Anything*

THREE FRIENDS I THINK WILL RESPOND:
Ian and Darrin already did...Kim?

THREE THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO:

Fried/On-A-Stick Fest '09, Being Debt Free, My movie (or gallery) premiere.

*Deep Friend Anything is coincidentally going to be the name of my next band.

What’s All The Hubbub, Bub?

2009-07-15T07:40:00.001-05:00

So, coming back from lunch yesterday (happy Bastille Day, btw) and there’s a buzz around my area of the office about the bitchin’ (Camaro) Lambo down in the parking garage.

Now, I’m not much of a car guy or gear head by any means, but the Lamborghinis just speak testosterone. You don’t have to know shit about cars to know that these cars are the pinnacle. The price tag of $200,000-$300,000 also elevates them to the spoils of the ‘damn near more money than God’ income bracket.

So, it was understandable that in our little office building it was creating a bit of a stir (not quite a hullabaloo, but definitely a hubbub).

In a shaky economy, the question of who owned the car stirred quite some debate. And I can honestly say one thing…I don’t really care who owns it.

If the president of a company wanted to trade in their $120,000 Porsche on a $225,000 Lambo, that’s definitely their prerogative. I have no problems with that.

The rest of this post could easy dive headfirst into speculation, assumptions, circumstantial evidence…and for what? To piss and moan about something that, at the end of the day, doesn’t really affect me?

I will just say this. I have no idea who owns the Lambo. I honestly don’t care. My only motivation for finding out (and hoping it IS our boss) is that I would love to go for a ride in one.

Period.

For more pix of the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder, head over to Todd's Foto Blog

In other news, I’m shooting a lot more photos. I was having a discussion last night with Steven about the filmmaking process. He’s a natural director. That’s his bent. Mine is definitely more of the writing/pre-production and the Editing/post-production. And that fits with my growing (or re-kindled) love of photography. In the film-editing process, you’re taking an overall picture, and at times making each frame its own snapshot. So it only makes sense that I would gravitate toward that aspect of the filmmaking process.

This was a good discovery (and a good discussion) because it means that we will have our natural roles when working on indie-projects together. Instead of stepping on each others toes with trying to have 2 directors or 2 editors. It was a good talk and I think it’s the start of some brilliant collaborations.

We also talked about the need to work on some fun stuff that was our own (not for ICC, and not for Motiv8 Design). And that reminded me…I need to do stuff within the medium that keeps me passionate about it. I got to thinking of how I love (really really love) to edit. Which led me back to the Crapumentary. Yes-it needs done, no doubt about it. There’s realistically (easily) 40-50 hours of editing that need to be done to that The first 20 or so are just getting it shaped to be able to figure out what story I want to tell with the film. But I need to finish it. It was a good idea at the time (4 years ago) when I went to Darrin with it….and the trailer was awesome (at least it made ME want to see a movie that wasn’t even done yet :-). So, that’s gonna be done before a certain someone’s birthday (yeah, we missed the May release date…isht happens :-)

There are so many things on my plate right now that I want to be working on that I need to pull back a little bit and not forget about the important things…like relationships with my family and friends.

The next few months….couple years are going to be an exciting whirlwind of change. And I’m really looking forward to.

(I was going to apologize for the disjointed nature of the post, but in all honesty…it’s just isht I needed to get out there. Clear off the mental desk and make room for the important stuff).

peace

-AT

Point, Shoot, Sh*t

2009-07-13T14:39:00.001-05:00

So. I'm spoiled. I see that now.

Westerville Fireworks were 2 weekends ago. Normally on the 4th, it goes like this…1)Neighborhood Cookout, 2)Fireworks.

Only this year, someone got the bright idea to also have a garage sale (yes, that was me).

On the bright side, we made some decent scratch, I got rid of most of my albums, and made enough to get the Slingshot. Which, as camera bags go, is probably my favorite. It’s possible it may surpass the Nova 5 AW I got a few years back (although I suspect that if this photo thing starts to get TOO serious, this bag may again assert it’s number one spot—esp. if I start getting multiple lenses and/or multiple flash units. But we’re probably a couple years away from that).

So, I’m spoiled, not because I have the Nikon D50…nope. I’m spoiled because I didn’t have it for 2 years. And for those 2 yeas I shot with the Fuji Finepix S700. I loved that camera. I could get it to do just about everything I wanted it to do. Except look like a real photo. There was something that was always ‘flat’ about it. And the response was always a split second behind on the shots (very noticeable during soccer season). Then, as fate (and/or luck) would have it, Jerry K. at work heard my lament and history was made :-) when I was able to get the D50 from him.

So, here’s how I was spoiled. With the Fuji (and basically ANY point and shoot). All I really had to worry about was composition. Did the shot LOOK good. And if it did, I snapped it. Checked the LCD to see if there were any glaring errors and went on with it.

Things like aperture, F-stop, shutter speeds, metering, depth of field were non-issues because all I did most of the time was pick a ‘mode’ (night, portrait, fireworks) and the camera did the thinking about all that other stuff behind the scenes. And that was fine by me.

The D50 is seen as an entry-level DSLR camera (and that’s fine by me, since I still consider myself an entry level photographer), but it’s still leaps and bounds beyond the point and shoots that I have to think of things now like, what’s my lighting going to be like…how close am I going to be…do I need a tri-pod.

The funny thing is…I love that isht! It actually makes the shoot that much more interesting to me. It WAS a bit frustrating to not get the fireworks shots I had envisioned in my head (that just means I need more practice before next year….a box of sparklers should do it).

So that’s my lover’s lament on the camera. If you made it this far, you must be really bored (either before you started, or you are now).

In other Skaggage News, the garage sale on the 4th of July weekend was a hit. We made enough for Nancy to get some new running shoes…for me to get a new camera bag AND pay off most of the camera. On top of that there was some extra scratch leftover for Wendy’s and Skyline. All in all, a worthwhile endeavor.

AND…the biggest news of the garage sale? The albums are gone. Well, most of them. The 150 or so that I had pulled aside when we first put the batch into storage is still on the shelves. The remaining 1000 or so are gone. I sold about 230 during the 2 days (people were lining up when we opened on Friday-JUST for rekkids')…and then one of the guys on Saturday asked me what I’d sell the rest of the collection for. I said $400 (this was about 50 cents per). He emailed me Saturday night and offered 30 cents per. I thought about it…did a quick calculation and told him to come up on Sunday and grab his newly acquired record collection.

So, I guess I’m not getting a table at the record show in August. And that’s cool. Still planning on going with Ian and Darrin…and hitting Gyro-Town or whatever the heck that place was, afterwards (so, put it on your calendars, guys!).

Since the Fourth, other fun and frivolity has also ensued. There are photos up on the blog (Todd’s Foto Blog). Detailed descriptions of said frivolity may or may not follow on these pages. We’ll see :-)

Until then (or not), Peace out.

-Todd

Jam On It

2009-06-24T21:44:00.001-05:00

Yeah. It’s starting up again. I think it’s a summer thing, but I’m just wanting to rawk. As in plug the guitar in and turn the amp to 11. Need a danged BuddhaJam again is what we need. But I don’t see that happening. That was definite time and space kind of thing, both of which have passed.

And I’m not really to the the ‘lead guitarist’ point in my musical journey (and I’m ok if I never get there), I just want to play rhythm guitar and stomp on the effect pedals needlessly and rock out in stupid 3 chord punk rock fashion.

But being almost 40 and wanting to start a band or be in a band (especially with all the other shite that’s going on) strikes of some kind of lunacy. I have neither the practice space nor the time, nor the temperament to put up with but a handful of other musicians anyway. So what’s the alternative. Eff if I know. I guess just wait until the house is clear, plug in the Slash Epi, turn isht to 11 and pretend.

Works for me.

Shaking the Mortal Coil and other Tasty Desserts

2009-06-24T07:27:00.005-05:00

Got this email yesterday:

Dan M----- passed away this weekend. The cause is yet to be determined. They are currently doing an autopsy. The services are Wednesday at St. ----'s Catholic church in W---ville at 6pm.

Now it's been a long time since I've even talked to Dan. If I saw him in a crowded room, I would probably recognize his face...as someone I once knew, but it might really tax my memory banks to tell ya his name.

To say I don't 'care' that Dan passed away isn't accurate (And it's more callous than I care to be). It's just that I really don't have any emotions about it one way or another. I haven't been in touch with Dan in nearly 10 years. We were part of a self-help/enlightenment/personal-growth encounter seminar back in the day. And at the time, I'm sure that either of us would have said we'd be there for the other. But I didn't call him when I was going through my divorce. I didn't call him when I was dating again, and I didn't get in touch with him when I got re-married.

In short, I guess there was just a superficial sense of intimacy. I mean, I guess, at the time the friendship was real (and some of the others that I spent time with there, it WAS more of a 'real' thing-meaning I feel like I could just start talking to them after 10 years and pick right back up where we left off (or maybe not, not sure-and haven't had occasion to test that theory yet).

I guess this is just my long-winded way of saying I don't really like funerals or viewings (because I don't). And that I'm probably not going to go to Dan's tonight (no probably about it, I'm not...even though some small part of me feels 'obligated' because I opened the email telling me of his passing).

I find funerals/viewings to be very emotionally taxing for me (and forcing a sometimes uncomfortable introspection that I really don't want to deal with presently) and I usually only want to give that much of myself to close friends or family, (and in some cases, family of close friends). Selfish? Maybe. But I know what would happen if I went....I'd see some of these people that I called 'friends' 10 years ago (but haven't talked to since)...we'd talk about what we remembered of Dan. We'd talk about how we were doing now. There would be a glossing over of the past 10 years to catch us all up to speed and we'd talk about how sad it was that it took the passing of a friend to bring us back in touch with each other, but gosh, it was good to talk to/see you again, and then for the next couple of months, there would be the cursory effort to stay in touch and then *blip*-back to the void of non-contact.

And that just rings hollow, I guess. It feels fake to me. And I've got enough things going on right now that need my full attention...I don't have the time or energy to pretend right now.

If that makes me a dick, then so be it. My sympathies go to Dan's friends and family. But that's about as much as I have to give to it at the moment. And Dan, if you've made your way to Heaven, I'm sure the last thing on your mind right now is whether or not someone you sorta knew that you haven't talked to in 10 years came to pay his respects at your passing.

Speaking of heaven...I had a few FB epiphanies while I was on my week-long 'staycation.' The first being that 90% percent of the 'games' on facebook were DIRECT descendants of Dungeons and Dragons, only this time, it was the computer rolling the 20 sided die. The second was that while you engaged with your FB 'friends' in these games...ALL of them were solitairy endeavors. Even though there was real-time chat, etc. in the games...every single one of them occurred with one person in front of their computer while I was in front of mine. WTF is 'social' about that?

All of this came about because I had a list of things I wanted to work on during my week 'off' and I only got about 1/2-way down my list. And the main time suck, I found was Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I had fun in a mindless sort of 'click here to pick strawberries' kind of way, but in the end, it wasn't getting me closer to acheiving any of my dreams.

So, I wiped all the apps from my FB account. Mafia Wars, Street Racer, Pillow Town, Farm Fight...all that isht. Gone. Send a Drink...gone. Squirt gun battle....gone. Don't need it. May eventually reload them, but for now, gone. If you're here from FB -don't take offense. I'm not dissing you by not accepting your drink....I'm just saying, lets get together, have a cookout, and crack a real beer. If we're gonna play bastard-Yahtzee (aka Farkle), let's just play the real thing, mmmkay?

The other thing is, I realized how many stolen minutes there were during my day (my work day) that were going to those things. And I gotta tell you...after being here 11 years, I'm not gonna get my lardarse fired because I just had to water my crops! Ain't gonna happen.

Speaking of my crops...I've been taking more photos lately with the new (to me) Nikon and have to say that I'm loving it. As I pulled in to work today I thought, 'wow...how cool would it be to wake up and my job for the day was to go get photos in Fiji for National Geographic?'

This is kind of a new (not so new) thing for me. For years, my dreams have been centered around making movies (and for years before that it was around making music) for a living. Now I'm digging photos (again..I never really went away from taking pictures or loving to capture things on 'film'...a moment in time, if you will).

So...what would incorporate all 3? I mean, I think I'm a mediocre musician (albeit a prolific as fudge lyricist)...a better than average filmmaker...and I think I have a really good 'eye' for photos (which I think also helped with the movie making). Yeah. I'm not sure where that leaves me, but that's what I'm wrasslin' with in my head these days.

And with that, I go back to the job that pays the bills (and since I'm not getting paid to blog, this is where this post ends).

peace out, yo.

New Blog on the Books

2009-06-21T20:53:00.002-05:00

I started a new Photo blog. It's called Todd's Foto Blog and you can find it over here. I figure since I got the Nikon D50, I need to start doing more with the photos I take.

That Was Weird

2009-06-18T06:08:00.002-05:00

I just had a dream about DevilCake. And I was in it (as in, in the band again).

It was some festival and we were on the bill as 'DEVIL KATT' ...and the songs listed were songs I didn't know. Further down on the bill was 'SAMARKIND' so I assumed Ian was on the bill twice (don't know if I was part of that band in the dream or not).

Gourley and Ian were the only two other members I interacted with in the dream. I was heading to the trailers to change (this place was massive) and donned a set of dirty orange mechanics coveralls. I said something to Ian about not knowing any of the songs and he just kind of looked at me in that 'oh silly boy...you know this stuff' kind of look he sometimes has.

Gourley was clearly pumped for the show (some things never change, it seems).

And then off to the side I heard "Have fun today, honey." It was Nancy.

And then I woke up. To Nancy telling me to have fun today (honey) at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum (Jen and I are heading up today as a combo birthday present to her, fathers' day present to me).

There was more to it...the Manga style of the flyers....listening to the crowd...hearing the synths in the sound check (apparently Devilcake got their keys back). And feeling that nervous/exicted feeling I would get before shows.

So, what does it all mean?

Eff if I know.

Clearly I have unresolved issues related to Devilcake. I'm not going to deny that. I hated the way it ended (for me) and I hated the rift that it (and other events at that time) caused between me and Ian. And I think Ian and I are to a better place with it now, but I have to say that there are aspects of that time that still make me go 'WTF, mate?' The pain is gone, and I'm not bitter about it (at least I don't think I am). But clearly there's a part of me that misses being on stage and playing gigs. The funny thing is...that realization is hitting me NOW...when I can't foresee any time in the schedule to even BE in a band, let alone play out.

Smell that? That's irony.

Summer...already?

2009-06-01T11:17:00.003-05:00

Dooood. I know, alright, I know!

I haven't posted in forever. This used to be my playground and now, look at it. Anything over 140 characters finds me stupified.

I have embraced Facebook. There's no doubt about that. The hours that I used to spend coming up with these (self-referentially) brilliant (not to mention modest) posts are now consumed by catching up on goings on from people that may not know me as well as the 5 regular readers of Ye Olde Blogge. Oh, and there's Mafia Wars, Farm Town, and the recently aquired Street Racing and Mob Wars.

I guess what's different is that the interaction is instaneous. If I want to tell people what's on my mind, I do so. And usually 5-10 minutes later, theres some kind of feedback.

It's no secret that I'm all about instant gratification. Give me feedback NOW, dammit! And what's funny is, Blogger used to give that do me (or so it seemed), but not really. And nothing like FB does. Twitter takes that instant feedback and amps it up to a whole new level. And I'm not quite ready for that yet.

I swear I've written this before. Alright, seriously, I'm going to stop apologizing for lack of updates (hit me up on FB if you want the play by play).

Life has been Good. Really Good, actually. So Good that I felt the need to capitalize 'Good' (four times!!).

It's been nearly 11 weeks now since I've stopped taking the happy pill and I have to say that I haven't felt better. I haven't felt this balanced in a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNG time (probably 13 years (yeah-do the math-I was on meds for 12 years and never got to feeling quite as good I as used to feel OFF of them, go figure).

So that's a plus. So far no relapse (and there've been a few dodgey moments there where I was thinking that it might be best to go back on them, but I pushed through that and came out better on the other side).

Work (the paying job) has been actually quite nice. I've found that it's actually easier to rise above the bullshit/attitude stuff now that I'm clean. I guess it makes sense. If the pills stop you from getting too low, they can also probably stop you from getting to elevated. So, work's good. I'm getting stuff done, getting back in to my routine.

Church-life is hectic. There's a lot to do...especially to get the Video Ministry where it needs to be in the next year or so. It's basically a full time job (or pretty darn close).

And then there's this other thing that I can't go too far into right now. But suffice to say that it's a step on the path to fulfilling some of my lifetime dreams. Stay tuned. Big changes are afoot in the next year or so.

The family is doing well. Nancy just auditioned for Opera Columbus for the '09/'10 season. Tommy just finished up spring soccer. And Jen's finishing up the school year with hair slightly redder than when she left our house Friday. It looks good and she came home from her mom's with a renewed sense of 'I want to look pretty and be proud of my appearance' She's growin' up.

Personal video projects have taken a back seat (but at least the footage for Crapumentary is captured....baby steps) :-) Realistically I'll find the time in the fall/winter (when we won't be doing family things as often). I'm also delving back in to the photography side more, and may soon be getting a DSLR to elevate that 'hobby' to the next level.

I've also starting writing a book of a spiritual nature. I'm sure it will be every bit as disjointed as 'The Rose' piece that I wrote (but with considerably less 'F-Bombs').

And that's the non-Twitted update as to what's been going on in Toddeus' life.

How about you? How things in your next of the woods?

Alright, back to makin' paper.

Peace outside*.

Todd

*Oldie, but goodie

Bits and Baubles

2009-04-29T07:46:00.002-05:00

It's been 3 weeks now since I've stopped taking the meds...or as I used to call them 'the happy pills'.

The irony is, I actually FEEL happier off of them. I guess I should step back and say that I 'FEEL' again.

There's more to this post than the 5 sentences you are going to see right now, but I'm at work and the time it would take to dig deeper in to the thoughts in my head about this topic would be time that I need to actually spend doing what they pay me to do.

So. For now, know this. No Meds for 3 weeks. Feels good.

Life is good.

and the Record Show is a week from Saturday. Vinyls and Gyros Action, dudes.

Word.

It's all Ned's Fault

2009-03-31T20:29:00.003-05:00

So, this post was going to be about my upstairs (relatively newish) TV being dead. Which precipitated the title...which of course refers to a Ned's Atomic Dustbin song about killing your television. And then I thought...Ned's Atomic Dustbin...N.A.D. ....Nad.hehe. so if I were cheering them on using the short version I'd be shouting "Go NAD!"

And this is how a blog gets derailed before it even gets going.

If any of my FB peeps made it over here because they were jonesin' for what passes for wit over there, I'm sorry....er, I mean welcome.

Don't bother cleaning up, I'm pretty sure they're not coming over.

FB-Facebook...yeah. As Ian said...'it's evil' And it's evil in insidious ways. The new interface is to blame, I think. At first you could only see shite that was relevant to you. When people commented on your stuff or when you commented on theirs or what not. But not anymore. Now if a friend of a friend breaks wind and comments on it, you know it (It looks something like this "Timmy > Bobby "dude, I totally blasted a$$""

And then, since you know Timmy (or Bobby, I'm not here to judge), you click over there to see what the big deal is and before you know it, you're flipping through photos from Aunt Sally's Wedding reception on the Jersey shore. And you don't even KNOW Aunt Sally!! Oh, that and 2 hours of your life is gone. Thanks a whole hell of a lot Aunt Sally!!

So, I'm cutting way back on it, I think. I already weeded my friends list down 10% today. If I do that every week or so I'll be at the level of people that I actually care about by 2012. I could just save time and put the 4 people that read this blog on there and be done with it.

That and I've been wanting to work more on video editing (and writing)..and I found that by not fecking around so much on FB last night and the night before, I actually got a good 2-3 hours of editing in.

Checking in from work is starting to be frowned upon, as well. I guess it's not really all that big of a deal since I'm kind of getting bored anyway. I thought that would be a place where I could be more of myself...but nope. Too many people watching. Not that I care if they watch, it's just that it's getting weird now. there are times I just want to put "I don't f**king care about your status today and you shouldn't care about mine, either" but...that wouldn't be good protocol.

OR some bullshit like that.

Did I mention I'm doing an assload more editing latetly? The peeps at work have finally decided one year later (or is it 2...holy crap...maybe it has been 2 years now) to have me start editing the footage from the User's Conference.

And it sucks.

I mean, it's not THAT bad...but it was long before I had my cameras dialed in and,well, if it were up to me, I probably wouldn't use the footage, but I actually think I can put it together in such a way that it will be usable (but it may not exactly match what they have in mind...and if they're ok with it, I'm ok with it).

I started editing the footage from the Fresh H2O Cafe thing at church, too. I decided to do that one in small clips of each performer rather than try to do the whole thing as one 'movie' since it wasn't shot that way to begin with. It's not a complete shoot of the night since I had other duties to perform in addition to being camera man. But we do have a miniDisc soundboard recording...holy crap does it sound clean. If I were to ever get back into a band that played out, I'd only do soundboard recordings-I'm that spoiled that quickly.

Speaking of music...I flagged off on the Guitar Jam at I's and from what I read I missed a good jam. Part of it was thinking I wasn't in the same league guitar wise as the rest of the guys (and I'm just being honest), but most of it was the fact that I had a video clip I had to get ready for Sunday. Although, if it does go down again, I'm gonna tell the insecurity that it can go take a holiday and not come back, that isht is silly at this point. If I can mess up on stage in front of 1500 people that don't know me, certainly I can play chords in a room of 4 or 5 other dudes that are friends, right?

Precisely.

Speaking of God. I'm starting to get the sense that some really big things are afoot. Stuff is going well at church and I'm doing more video stuff. I dig the comfort, familiarity, and relative security of my job, but I have to say that I will be very happy when I can go to work and say that I'm getting paid to do something I'm passionate about...I mean, isn't that the point, afterall? Not to merely exist but to LIVE? Not to just have a life, but to really be ALIVE?!?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

I have to write/direct/shoot/edit a short film along those same lines. I have been playing POD's "Alive" over and over because I think the words are powerful. And in the shoot I'm crafting, I can see it being done as a spoken word piece. First by a woman, then another verse or chorus by a man doing spoken word. And in the last segment, a teen is going by with an iPod and you have that whole 'you can hear what they're listening to and when they take off the headphones, it gets really loud' thing going on in that clip, too.

In other news, I plan on getting back to editing the Crapumentary footage soon. The trailer was so fun to make, though. Maybe I'll just make 20 or so trailers and call it a day. OH. Of COURSE I'm kidding...jeesh, dont' be so sensitive. I didn't capture 15 (or was it 18) hours of footage to not actually do something with it, eh.

Oh...I almost forgot. The TV. Our flatscreen fritzed a few weeks ago. It comes on...you see the picture for 2 seconds and then it goes away and you're just left with sound. Pretty sweet if I was blind. But, I'm not. Not yet anyway (I think they lied to us as children about that). So, Geeksquad is coming out on April 13th to fix it. It's under warranty, so it should be fairly painless. I hope. We moved the cable box down to the TV downstairs (which used to be our good 'upstairs, non-game' TV), but Nancy hates to watch TV down there, so if something doesn't happen soon, I'll probably be bringing that one up here where the comfy couches are. Here's what's funny...I don't miss it. I have watched way less TV and felt better about the shit I've gotten done so for me, it's not a bad thing. It becomes a bad thing because it affect everyone else (we're used to having a TV to watch and one to play games on). So, yeah. We didnt' kill the TV, but I'd say we clipped it pretty darn good.

And with that, I leave you to your regularly scheduled life. Please disburse, there's nothing more to see here.

Anymous Sh*thead

2009-03-26T21:30:00.002-05:00

so...there's this thing...called the interweb. Obviously you know about it, because you're reading this (I realize I'm assuming others read this).

But aside from providing insanely easy access to objects of modern-day gluttony. It actually does some good. For better or worse, it appears to be the collective knowledge base of the Human Race (For you youngsters, before it was called a 'wiki' it was called a knowledge base. Before it was called a 'knowledge base' it was called an encyclopedia. And before that it was just a bunch of smart dudes shooting the shit).

And that's the relatively good side of the internet. There are, of course, the darker sites with porno, gambling, lolcatz, and the like. But I'm not really thinking about them at the moment (although a cheezburgr would be good right about now).

What I've lately been fascinated with (and maybe I've been fascinated with this in the past and this is just one big re-run), but what I've been fascinated with is how people just slam other people with little or no provocation (i.e. over stupid isht).

I read several blogs on a somewhat regular basis. Most are just written by (not so) average blokes (most of which are friends or relatives). I also read sites like boingboing, lifehacker, slashdot, tech republic and the like.

Now the first group is usually pretty friendly as far as comments go. There's some good natured ribbing, maybe a few 'your momma' jokes in there for good measure, but for the most people, people are civil.

In the second group is where you find people that exhibit traits that I like to call 'Anonymous Sh*thead Symptoms.' The comments section of those posts on a site like tech republic,for example, usually goes something along the lines of.

@wannabe:
"First!" (apparerently getting the first comment in, even if it's only indicating your place in line, is a big effing deal, whatever).

@ITguru:
"This article was right on the money...Linux DOES kick PC's arse" (this was a little shot...but there's still time to bow out with dignity).

@gatesboy:
"No WAY @ITguru-Linux is retarded and looks ugly" (ok...still somewhat civil..but getting on dicey ground now).

Now someone usually tries to put out the glowing embers.

@Phoenix:
"Now...Linux isn't that bad. And you can really get the UI to look great-look at Ubuntu" Still a chance to end this peacefully.

@bozzwoz
"Yeah. Linux can look awesome-it's called BUY A MAC!!" OK. This one could go either way...sarcasm or serious..not too bad.

@joiner2
"Mac?? For the price of a mac I could have a whole server farm of Linux boxes that (edited for geekiness)"

@hadenough:
"Hey dickheads. I think that the author was just trying to say for security, Linux is better equipped to handle threats"

And then it just spirals from there. Name calling and by about the 10th comment thread you are so far away from the article that it becomes annoying. Sometimes I like to start reading the comments from the end first to see if I can figure out what the article was actually about. So far the pencil in my eye has prevented from ever winning this game.

But I think I figured out what causes the ASS to appear. No accountability. If you were out in public, having a discussion about pc vs. linux vs. mac...or...oh...I don't know... politics. As soon as you call someone 'retarded' or a 'dickhead' there's a good chance that an ass-whooping is soon to follow.

Online, though, people are coccooned. In the event that they actually personally know the author (or the author knows the poster), the ASS usually doesn't appear. I've noticed too, that people are mostly civil on facebook, too...with people on their friends list...because usually these are people they knew in real life at one point or another.

Unfortunately, if you join a group (that's not started by someone on your friends list), there's a good chance you'll see someone being a douchebag to someone else in one of the discussions.

I used to think this isolation phenomenon was limited to just online venues....but it seems to be happening everywhere. A family of four (for example) takes a trip to a city on the east coast...they sit together in the air port...they sit together in the plane...but they all have headphones in. So, real conversation doesn't really ever have to happen. Or..people in the same house, all on a different computer...all online...texting or IM'ing each other.

Same with driving. The reason I hate to drive is that most people that piss me off on the road do so because they fail to see past their own steering wheel. I almost got run off the road trying to merge on to an exit ramp today because the lady driving decided that 'YIELD' meant 'drive as f**king fast as possible, and by shit YOU'LL get out of MY way!!!" And, for a split second, I contemplated driving right next to her, matching her speed and forcing her to ride the exit ramp around again. I really thought about it (I could get off at the next exit and have been just fine).

But I didn't do it. Because for the most part, I try not to be a douchebag when I'm in my car. For all I know she was on her way home after getting a horrific call...who the hell knows. But it still didn't stop me from throwing a few eff-bombs her way. And what irked me the most is...through my cussing (through an open window) and honking she never even looked at me or acknowledged that there was a car next to her!!!!!

It's just another way to be cut off from people. And at work I see it, too. In tough times, sometimes it's tough to get excited at work...so people come in to their cubes...pull out the iPods and put the headphones in. And zone out to do the task at hand.

I'm not sure where I was going with this, other than to say while I'm a fan of most things related to the 'net and technology...I'm concerned at how acceptable it is to spend more time in a virtual world than the real world.

Don't worry, I've got no plans to go live out in a cabin in the woods and start typing a manifesto or anything. I just find a subtle hint of irony in the fact that all of these gadgets that are supposed to 'make the world a smaller place' are actually increasing the gap between face-to-face, physical interaction.

And I'm a bit saddened by how easily we've allowed that to become the norm.

(witty title here)

2009-03-18T21:34:00.002-05:00

So...dunno. Got a weird vibe going through my head at the moment. Things are going well in most areas of my life. Works fine (although I did get the 'tone down your FB time'...which really just means, don't make it so obvious if you're online to blow off steam after a tough call).

And that's fine. Facebook is kind of weird. There's this weird 'time-suck' element to it where depending on what day it is I may just wind up wasting some serious time on there (like the couple hours off an on Saturday I was on it). And then today, I was hardly on it at all. I threw a couple of updates on tonight and just don't want to be on it for a while. I don't really like the new layout in the sense that they're trying to make it too pretty. The thing I liked about the last layout was, there was a place for everything and the 'updates' from people were cleaner and didn't take up as much real estate on the screen. But what it boils down to is that it's changed. And I'm not 100% sure I can be bothered to muck with it right now. I can see usage of that going down in the next few months. Especially as other projects pick up.

I had some big-long thought provoking post I was going to lay on y'all and blow your effing minds, but the truth is...I'm tired. I've been up for 17 hours. And I'm ready for bed.

I may or may not post another entry tomorrow. We'll have to see how work goes. The morale there is kind of for isht right now. Which sucks. But not having a job would suck more. Besides I have some good 'Essential Mixes' so I'm set. I need to bum some of those Blagger's Guides off of Ian at some point.

Alright, that's really all I've got for now.

nite.

No Time for Heroes

2009-03-10T14:53:00.001-05:00

Viva la libertad -- A Friend

Here and there and everywhere

2009-03-10T06:38:00.002-05:00

It's been about 3 weeks or so since my last post. This kind of amuses me. I go from 3 posts a day to one post every 3 or 4 weeks. I think part of it is, since FB, I feel like I get the 'I'm scratching my big toe' bullshit out of my system and the blog is now been relegated to the 'important (read:DEEP) stuff.

And that may or may not be the case. I don't really know. Maybe I'm just not feeling all that DEEP these days?

What I do know is that I'm on a bizarre ride right now.

Here's the skinny on what's been going on in my life these days.
Work is fine. Morale kind of sucks around the office, to be sure, but nobody really talks about it, because, well, we're all just pretty damn happy to have a job these days. And I'm guessing that the mood is because of the general overall grey cloud that's sitting on the furrowed brow of America as a whole, not just our little company.

Stuff at Dad's company is also on the semi-bleak side. Business is tough all over, it seems. I'm confident they'll persevere, though, because well...have you met my Dad? He really doesn't take no for answer...and failure generally isn't an option for him.

Things at International Christian Center are definitely ramping up. Sometime in the last few weeks it hit me that I was actually the head of the Video Ministry and that I needed to really drive that to make it what it needs to be instead of sitting around and wondering why we're not living up to our potential. So, I started thinking like a team leader. And I'm putting things in place to make sure that anyone that volunteers in that ministry does not get burned out and that we grow our team. It's going well. There are challenges, to be sure, but I've got a good feeling about where we're heading as a team (and there are some very exciting things on the horizon for ICC in general).

Family stuff is going OK. We're down one TV which, really shouldn't be all that stressful, but it seems to be anyway. I actually don't mind, but then again, I was wanting to cancel cable altogether, but I tend to oversimplify things (AND overthink them...not always the best combination). Spring cleaning is gonna happen VERY soon (the CHUD Hole needs purged)...so THAT should be a fun weekend.

I recently posted the 'professional' (cough) videos from the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp shows that I was part of to Facebook. I only posted the sets from the bands I was in. I may or may not post them here. Most of you that would read this are also on FB, so it may be just as easy for you to catch them there (which basically means I'm too lazy to bother loading them a second time).

I got to thinking about the whole Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp 'experience' as it were. It was seven months ago (give or take). And my perspective on the whole event has shifted somewhat. In hindsight (damn you, hindsight), I SHOULD have taken a solo at House of Blues...but whatever. I'm good with ryhthym. And the stuff that REALLY bothered me about the whole trip is really, really minor when put next to the overall blessing of the trip as a whole. I got to see that yes, I WOULD have fun as a 'rock star,' but the touring...the only seeing the inside of a bus or hotel would drive me batshit crazy. Seriously. I like making music, but I'm very happy now to just make it in my house for my family and friends or to use in my films. That's the other real regret...I didn't take more video. But not much I can do about either of those things now. But I have to say that I DID have fun and it WAS a blessing (and truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity) for me. And I will find myself talking about it without bothering to mention the negative stuff (that doesn't make for very inspiring stories :-)

I think I need to start playing more.

Not just music, but just playing in general. Things seem to just get too serious and heavy too quickly these days.

Hmm. This is kind of a bottle rocket post, huh? BIG fwoosh, LOUD whistle, teeeeeeeenie tiny 'thwop' at the end.

thwop.

The Myth of Helplessness

2009-02-24T11:45:00.001-05:00

(before I begin, let me say that I am by no means saying I have all of the answers, these are just some insights that have hit me lately).

I was talking to an old friend the other day about a situation they are in. It's marital in natural (and I'll leave it at that). But as I was talking to them, they said something that struck me right smack between the eyes. In essence they said they knew (whatever-whatever) was wrong, but they were powerless to change it.

I have heard it said that the Devil's greatest victory was convincing Man that he didn't exist. But I think that's incorrect. That's a strong victory, to be sure. But I think that an even greater victory is convincing Man that they are helpless in their circumstances.

And friends, that's bullshit.

We all have dual citizenship. We are beings of Heaven and of Earth. Of Spirit and of flesh. God breathed in to the dirt and created Man, IN HIS IMAGE. So...let me just break this down (because it's only taken me a good 30+ years to figure this one out)...we are FROM GOD, OF GOD and LIKE GOD. Get it?

"Most assuredly, I say to you, He who believes in Me, the works that I do, He will do also; AND greater works than these He will do, because I go to my Father." John 14:12.

That's Jesus. You know, Son of God. Savior of Man. Did you catch what he was saying there? If you believe in him, then YOU can (and will) do everything that he did (heal the sick, feed the masses, be a light in a dark place)....AND GREATER. Jesus set the bar with works of faith. But he's saying "Look man, here's the instruction manual. You can do EVERYTHING that I did...oh, and by the way, I need to go back to my Pops, so you're going to have to do GREATER things than what I did while I was here, mmmkay?"

So, how can we do the works of Jesus...actually greater works than Jesus and still be helpless in the situations of the world?

Simple.

Choice.

Yeah. I said it. We are helpless in the world because we choose to be. We choose to be bogged down by the trappings of this world. We choose to bury our passports and travel visas from Heaven away in some dark chest and only pull them out for the really really important things.

I can hear you now..."But Todd, why would someone choose all that? All that pain and suffering, to be locked in situations where they feel powerless?"

Free will.

God gave us free will. It truly is a double edged sword.

You have to choose to accept your heavenly inheritance (and here's the kicker-you're not supposed to wait until you're dead to reap the rewards of heaven, that's not the way its supposed to work).

On the other hand, you can choose not to.

And somewhere along the way, the enemy has clouded the path laid before us and convinced us we were lost and that God only wanted to help us with the big big things.

So...this God. The God that knows every hair on our head only wants to help with the big things? Sounds like He's pretty interested in the small things, too. If we choose to let him be involved in ALL aspects of our lives, we will have blessings in this world unimaginable.

And this is a good place to interject something.

I know this in my heart to be true. I know that there is biblical precedence for what I've said. AND...I know that I'm not there yet, folks. I still have to choose...every day.

For me, it's like this. You know those movies where the prince goes out in disguise and kicks it with the peasants? And it's like..'hey...this is nice. I've never had to kill my own food or milk my own goat before...how cool.' And in these movies, there's always some case of mistaken identity or a plot by someone who knows the true secret to trap that person out in peasant-ville. And only by revealing his true nature and identity does the prince save the people that he has come to love (because he's been among them now).

Wonder why those movies are so popular. Why the resonate with us. Why they sound so....familiar.

Because we all read the book (at least most of us have seen the book). But we read the book of that movie. It's called the Bible.

But the catch is...in the book, the king wants us to know that we are ALL his sons and daughters and ALL have the benefits of being of the royal lineage.

But we don't read the books anymore, do we? We choose to go to the movies. And have the stories fed to us. And the part that sucks is that when they make a movie, they usually change it a bit from the book.

So instead of ALL of us being the prodigal sons and daughters that God is calling home to enjoy the benefits of heaven (AGAIN...BEFORE we're dead)....in the movie, it's just one prince.

And thanks to the very clever marketing campaign of Satan, we bought it. We bought that financial hardships are a way of life. We bought that cancer means our life is over. We bought that our marriage isn't worth saving, so we should just divorce and start all over again.

We bought in to the lie that we're ONLY human. How many times have you heard it? How many times have you SAID it?? "What do you want from me? I'm only human."

No. You're not. That's ONE of your natures. But you're also a divine being, the son and daughter of God. But you have to choose to wear that coat.

And, trust me...I've been there. Recently. Feeling like I was in a situation that was just helpless. Like I had to just accept things were the way they were and there was nothing I could do about it.

But it's just not true.

Now, the key is to choose, every day, to remember more and more of that kingdom nature. To infuse that in to the nature of the world.

And don't think for a minute that it's going to be easy. If you think that Satan's going to just chill while you partake of the feast that God has set for you, you're mistaken. Satan has lost the war. We know that. But don't think for a minute that he's going to stop racking up the body (soul) count.

I know I'm going to falter. But I also know now where the path leads. It leads home, to my country of origin. I just have to choose to head there. One foot in front of the other.

Who's with me?

Crapumentary Trailer

2009-02-13T07:35:00.003-05:00

You may recall me posting about un-shelving the "Crapumentary" film project. Well last night I finished capturing all of the footage from the shoot. It's probably topping in at about 15hrs of footage. That should give me a good 60-90min movie if I cut it right.

Darrin and I have kicked around some ideas for it...the main one being a 'fly on the wall' view with me 'going back' via the wonders of chroma-key (green screen) and playing around as Darrin records.

There's some good footage of just the room, too. And since the camera stays stationary, I could use it to make different layers, so I think I can do some cool isht with it.

I'm just really excited to be working on it. The thing has been shelved for 4 years...Darrin thought the tapes were lost (little did he know that I kept the original VHS tapes AND the cassettes he recorded the 2nd Audio on right next to my vid PC since the day we shot it :-)

Another cool thing about this project is the fact that I cut probably my first 'real' trailer. I'm almost as excited about that as the whole movie.

Here it is. Enjoy. And look for Crapumentary some time in May.

Moony Moon

2009-02-11T08:06:00.002-05:00

Some pix of the moon from the other night.

(if you save them as desktop background and choose 'center' they look pretty tasty)

Aural Fixation

2009-02-11T08:00:00.003-05:00

Been a while since I've laid anything new down as my nom de plum 'Aural Fixation.' That's my 'cut and paste-techno-dancey-electronica' smack. Which, most of the 4 of you reading this already know :-).

Anywhoo....capturing the footage of Darrin going through his creative process for the Crapumentary has stirred that bug in me. So, I threw down a new track last night after a tasty dinner of Spaghetti and Tater Tots (yum).

Here for your exposure is "IMBack" (either "I'm Back" or "Instant Message Back"...see...adjustable for a brave new world).

Enjoy.

"IMBack" by Aural Fixation

Crapumentary-Four Years Later

2009-02-09T20:13:00.002-05:00

In February of 2005, my main man Darrin was way into the AAD (Album A Day) scene. The concept (at an ultra high level) is that any art and creation is good even if it's bad and that by forcing certain aspects (such as time of creation) the artist will produce more (eventually getting to the good stuff at some point). Such is my take on it. So, the rule is basically this-you must complete an album from concept to final product in 24 hours. There's fine points about length of the whole thing and # of tracks etc., etc, but you get the gist.

So, right. Rewind. February 2005. I have the Bright idea of doing the video version of the CrapArt project (which I aptly and quite unoriginally titled 'Crapumentary'). So I asked Darrin to let me set up a camera and have it roll while he did his creation....sort of a 'observation of an artist in the wild' kind of thing. I had a 'Hot Wheels' camera (that I ganked from Tommy). And I had 24 hours worth of tape. We were set. Darrin agreed.

On Feb 17th, 2005 I stopped by to show him the gear and set things up. I also got some interview-y type questions at the time on my other POS camera (the Aiptek SD videocamera).

On Feb 18th, 2005 he started his album. And he completed it sometime the following Sunday, I think. I got the tapes and gear back and was all set to make my masterpiece.

Through moves, and life, the tapes sat. I always kept them by my editing computer, to work on...when I had the time.

Fast forward 4 years...Feb. 9, 2009 and I'm starting the process of capturing the video. And dude...it's gold. Darrin went so far above and beyond what I had even envisioned...he set up a clock right by the camera...he had a secondary audio source for recording...and a clapper to sync the vid and audio. It's blowing my mind. And sure, I'm guessing he probably did some things that he wouldn't normally do on his typical AAD efforts, but holy crap. This s**t ra-hawks!

I am only about 30min in to the footage and I'm already seeing a 'talk show' or 'where are they now' kind of theme in the movie....like the 'long lost tapes of Daring Nails' or something like that. Because, this stuff is awesome.

I'm jazzed to start working on this. There's a real good chance it could suck bawls....but if I have fun making it, then feck off. Because that's why I started making movies in the first place. And I'm sure at least Darrin and Ian will get a chuckle out of it with me.

Darrin-you rule. That's all I gotta say man.

There's Somethin' Happenin' Here

2009-01-28T09:25:00.002-05:00

What it is, ain't exactly clear.

So, lately...as in the past week or so...I've been noticing a....I guess transformation is really the best word...in my life.

(this is about to get God-talky and introspective, so turn away now if that's not your thang, I respect that).

I've been listening to a lot of podcasts lately from LiquidChurch.com. And they have been very cool. Not typical 'church' at all. If I lived in NJ, I'd definitely be going there. They have a very 'out of the box' vibe, much like ICC. In other words, a good fit for my distrust of organized religion, but belief in God.

So, I keep hearing people say 'fill yourself with the Word, and you will see a difference in your life.' 'Turn your life over to God and He'll do wonderful things.' All that sort of thing that seemed to be smoke and mirrors. Until recently.

I noticed something odd last week. I was getting ready to hang up with a customer on a support call. And I quite literally almost said 'Love you' as I hung up. The words were formed and the "LLL" was almost vocalized. It wasn't weird and didn't seem unnatural, it was something I was just going to say. I caught myself, because I'm not sure how it would have gone over (both with him, and any management that might have been listening to the call). But the thing is, it wasn't like I wanted to go out to Minnesota raise Llamas with the man, it wasn't that kind of love. It was 'hey...you're a good person in my life and I enjoy our interactions, thanks for that.' OK. So I kind of shrugged that off as 'too much Jesus' that week (which, really is laughable if you stop to think about it).

But then, there's this whole Facebook thing. I've been interacting with a lot of my friends (a lot of you) and people that really weren't my friends (people that in my feeble teenage mind I thought looked down on me because I was the weird guy, or not cool, or rich, or a partyer, or whatever (fill in the blanks)). As well as a couple of people that I actually dated in high school/college. Now, keep in mind, that most of these 'relationships'/'friendships' from back in the day didn't always have such happy endings for yours truly. And some might be saying "dude-you're nuts for talking to some of those people again...what could have changed? what makes you think they actually give a sh*t about you now?"

And I didn't really have an answer for that. I have to be honest, I still don't. But, if you're reading this on FB, there's a chance that I added you as a Friend by stepping out on faith. And what I have found has been amazing. All of you, with practically no exceptions, surprised me. You have all grown in to people that I feel that I can honestly call my friend. Not the 'fake high school kind of pass you in the hall' friend, but someone that I could share my life with. And I think part of that is that I've grown, too.

I hit a point, probably last week, maybe earlier, actually where I let it all go. All of the pain and hurt that I carried around with me. The crap from my childhood, the snubs, the failed relationships, the flubbed friendships. I just gave it back to God. It was getting to be too much for me to wallow in. I didn't even really realize I was carrying that crap around until I started seeing all of the 'blasts from the past' on FB. And I found that when I honestly interacted with people, from my heart, I got their heart back in return. And I found that we all have pretty good hearts (some of us have teflon re-enforced hearts, but that's a story for another day).

And it was at that point I let it go. I realized that we were ALL very different people and that most of us were dealing with sh*t we kept buried under several layers of facade. Whether it was abusive parents, homosexuality, severe self-esteem issues, or whatever...we were all dealing with crap. I think if I had realized that then (and maybe to an extent I did), but if I had realized that back in the day I wouldn't have gotten so bogged down with the crap.

I posted in my status a few days back that I forgive all wrongs and perceived wrongs and hurts that I associated with any one I've had relationships with, and I want to add to that, if I've in anyway caused you pain, please forgive me.

I think when I hit that realization was the point I felt like a new person. Time, it seems does heal all wounds (or did in my case, at least).

I don't want to go back to those times, but I'm also not trapped by them anymore. And I do really credit God with that. His influence in my life as of late is undeniable. Actually-he's always been there, I just havent' always looked or been ready to receive.

I did something this morning I haven't done in a long time. I actually prayed, aloud, on the way in to work. Not because the roads were bad, but because I had things on my heart that I needed to give back to God. And I could feel His presence there with me. There were no 'answers' or blinding light on the road to Damascus. But there was a peace. I've felt it a few times in my life and never really understood the full effect of what caused it.

And I'm sitting here at my desk (and should be working,)but I actually feel GOOD. Not the Dupont-induced happiness, but actually good...from the inside. I'm happy. I'm happy for the people in my life. I'm happy for my wife, and wonderful kids. I'm happy for my shitty credit. Sounds crazy, but you know what? It's happening for a reason. At some point, I'm going to be able to let someone else with shitty credit know that "hey-God deals in currency that doesn't rust." (that's not an endorsement to charge away, just a fact that I know that by turning things over to God, they always seem to work out the way they need to).

I guess that's what this is. Me telling you, that I turned things over to God. And I feel love. Each of you reading this will take those last 2 sentences in a very specific way. I'm sure of that. I don't know what way. I don't know what's on your hearts. I know what you've shared, through FB, emails, face to face interactions. But Love.

It's pretty powerful.

I am feeling like I'm rambling now so I'll cut this short. But it looks like Lennon had it right-All you need is love.

And second chances. :-)

-A.T.S.

Really?

2009-01-26T12:13:00.002-05:00

Yes, I realize it has been a craplong time since I've actually posted anything on this blog. And even longer since I posted anything relevant. Looks like 2 weeks or so to be precise.

Yes, I'm busier these days than in recent history. Yeah I'm kind of bored (ok, bored isn't the right word...but it's the safe word for right now). But none of the typical excuses should keep me from Blogging to the delight of the 4 people that ever read this blog.

What's going on in Todd-Land
The kids continue to grow into their teenages roles in our household. Take that pretty much anyway you want to. Chances are, you'll be right.

Nancy's in an opera, Turandot. Put on by Opera Columbus. I'm not an opera fan, but I love to hear her sing. She could sing the phonebook. Although that might be weird...I'd still listen to it. I might try to smuggle a recording device in to the opera to get a decent recording of her singing.

Still no calls from Gilby Clarke or Glenn Hughes to come out and be rock and rollers. And that's ok. I got the 1099 for 'prize' package. I'm not sure I could afford to be a rock and roll star AND maintain my habit for StarWars action figures.

I have been putting 40 hours in at work. Used to be more. Economy took a dive. No overtime. Can't say I'm completely unhappy about this (although I didn't really mind since it was only 5-10 hours overtime).

The lack of overtime just means I have more 'free' time to put in to the work I'm doing at International Christian Center. And free time it is. I'm over the Video Ministry there. It's a phenomal opportunity and one that should eventually grow into a full time job. It's gonna be very weird to me to actually get paid for doing something I love to do. The closest I ever got to that was when I worked at Flamingo Isle. I'm fond of telling people that I deejayed there. Truth is, I dropped the needle when we were cleaning, getting ready to open for the evening and I also did actually DJ a Birthday Party there or something. This was shortly before they closed up for good....sadly my Rob Base and DJ Eazy Rock 12" was never seen again. But THAT was the closest I got to getting paid for doing something I loved to do.

That's about all I got for now.

Eventually this blog is gonna go all Members Only (only without the cool collar belt thing). The reasons for that aren't too surprising. There's a chance that someone's gonna read this blog that I don't want to read it because of the fact that I would need to censor myself. And the point of a blog is not necessarily for me to censor myself, but to get those sometimes disturbing, often mundane musings from inside my head to outside my head where they can't mess with me anymore.

So. Um Yeah.

That's about all I got for now.

-AT

Things I Don't Want For My Bloggity Blog Blog

2009-01-11T18:06:00.002-05:00

1. I don't want my blog to feel neglected. Damn...prolly too late on that one.

2. I don't want to feel like I can't really write what I want to write because certain people could see it and make it very uncomfortable for certain other people. Crap. Again, too late.

This blog is gonna go on the downlow for a while. Nothing major's happened, but the paranoid side of me just kicks in sometimes, ya know? If you are regular readers and would like to read the unfiltered thoughts that will be on the private blog, shoot me an email at Filmdude71 at gmail dot com and when that goes up, I'll send you invites.

Sorry for the complete lack of any useful information in this regard.

-T

Would Jesus Wear a Rolex?

2009-01-03T15:35:00.000-05:00

A little background to this note. I'm somewhat of a gadget whore. If it's shiny and new, there's a chance that I want it (or wanted it for a brief moment). I want (or think I want) an iPod Touch. There's no logical reason for this. I have a 16GB MP3 player currently, an 8GB Sansa View that I've upgraded to 16GB (http://www.sansa.com/players/sansa_view). And I have a touch-screen wi-fi device-an N800 (http://www.nseries.com/products/n800/#l=products,n800) that I rarely use. So there's no LOGICAL reason for wanting an iPod Touch (especially given the fact that I used to have a 40GB iPod, then sold that, then got a 1GB Shuffle, sold that, then traded for a 1GB Nano and gave that to my wife...not to mention I have nearly 200GB of MP3 files spread across 3 computers).

All of that leads to this.

I woke up this morning about 5AM from my NyQuil induced slumber and had a thought. This thought was a carry-over from a dream I'd been having. In the dream I was being shown what would happen if someone DIDN'T accept a gift from God. In the dream the gift was a Sports Car. And the question in the dream and the question as I woke up with was 'Does God want me to drive a sports car?' And this led to the title of this post which is from a song by satirical genius Ray Stevens.

But really. Does God want me to drive a sports car? I am in no way anywhere near in the position of owning,renting, or even standing next to a sports car, so this is more of a thought exercise than anything else.

But what happens if we say 'No' to the blessings that God wants to bestow on us because we are worried about what other people might think about US? I mean, if I was driving a brand new flashy sports car in this time of recession and want, what would people think? There was a time when they would think 'Wow...look at the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon him! I want that kind of Godly relationship!' I venture to say that would not be the thought. I'm guessing the words 'frivolous,' 'wasteful,' 'foolish,' would come up in the conversation.

And I would be ashamed. Ashamed that the Lord had blessed me. Ashamed by what people thought of me. What I SHOULD be doing is using it as an opportunity to give the Glory to God...but would I? I don't know.

Actually, I do know the answer to that question. I came in to a situation very similar to this when I won the grand prize in the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp Sweepstakes. The Prize was a $1000 Epiphone Les Paul Slash Signature Edition Guitar, a $500 gift card to Guitar Center and a 5-day all expenses paid trip on tour for 4 stops with the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp. There was one prize winner-nationwide...and it was me. And it was AMAZING. God took this dream I had as a little kid of being a rock star and made it come true, thirty years later. If only for a week (Which, trust me, was MORE than enough time). And that was a BLESSING. But what did I do with that gift once I was done basking in the moment? In my blogs I bitched about how sick I was before the trip...I bitched about the administrative stuff that got in the way. I bitched about the mundane stuff on the trip. I bitched about the taxes I'm going to have to pay on the winnings. I basically said 'I almost wish I'd never won the thing in the first place.' How's that for gratitude. If I had given my children a gift as awesome as that and they spit it back on my like I practically did, I'd be heartbroken as a father.

I ignored the gift.

I limited God's gift to me. I put a box around God's love...saying 'I think this is a blessing, but it's not THAT great of a blessing because look at all this bad stuff that happened along with it.'

I wonder how many times we do that. We try to diminish a gift that the Lord is giving us because WE think we know what's best for our lives right now? When we do that, rather, when I did that, it showed that I distrusted what God had planned for me. And it showed an unwillingness to let God be the Lord over ALL of my life.

How do I know this contest prize was a blessing? Simple. When I tell people about it, I can see the way their eyes light up... and the 'WOW-That is SO Cool!!' sentiments that I hear echoed tell me that it's something that I'm supposed to use to show people that yes...good things CAN happen in the middle of a recession and yes...you CAN have a dream come true. THAT'S how I know it was a blessing. And now that I've accepted that-I focus on the good parts of the trip and the story and the experience.

I think the whole dream (and the fact that I remember it clearly when I woke up) and tying it to the RRFC Contest are a reminder to me to let God handle the good stuff in my life too. Not just turning to the Lord when things go sour, but giving him Praise and Glory for each day I wake up and each evening before I go to bed, thanking Him for another day on His glorious planet.

So...does God want me to drive a sports car? Not sure. Maybe. Eventually. I think for now, He wants me to know that He's vested in my life and that the sooner I turn things over to his power and glory, the sooner I'll be able to enjoy the heavenly blessings on earth. There isn't just an eternal reward waiting for us....God wants to use us to show the lost that ALL of us are His children.

It was a sobering eye-opener.

zoom-zoom-zoom.

Eye Bugers

2008-12-30T12:21:00.003-05:00

So, apparently when my eye itches along the same time as my arse, the correct order of operations is rub the eye before scratching said arse.

I don't know if I have conjunctivitis again or not...but my eye itches and is somewhat irritated. I went in last week before the holidays and got the Rx drops, but haven't used them yet as the doc said not to use them unless my eyelashes start sticking together or there's a discharge from the eyeball. Fairly easy things to look out for, I'd say. In any event, I have the drops.

My wife gave me the dopest Christmas present EVER and I'm going to post the 2 pix here for my 4 friends who read my blog (who are not on Facebook where the instant gratification of Blogger is quadrillified).

That's right. Your eyes are not deceiving you. It IS in fact the Marc Ecko StarWars Stormtrooper hoodie with the hood that zips all the way up and makes the mask.

I've said it before, but let me reiterate...I have the best wife ever!!!

And I really should be working at the moment, so I'll post more later.

Peace outside.

media player

2008-12-29T15:16:00.002-05:00

OK. So I'm looking for a great media player/organizer (I have WAY too many MP3's).

I don't have an iPod anymore so part of me is like 'dude....why use iTunes?'

But...dude. Apple did it right. I've gone through several other players and for organizing...it's still my fave.

VLCPlayer is really good for one-offs and quick launching.

Winamp just annoyed me.

I keep coming back to iTunes. There would be no question of using it or not if it supported other Devices (for example, my SansaView). I guess I'll just sell the Sansa and get a little Nano or something (since I've been listening to MP3's at work on the Netbook and haven't touched the View in like 2 weeks or so)....Then iTunes would be perfect again.

Not really much of a post, I know. But I've been on vacation. I'm rusty.

New Year, New Blog

2008-12-28T22:48:00.002-05:00

Some things will be changing in the coming weeks. This blog will be largely abandoned...replaced by a new thang I'm working on. The new thing will be more of a private affair. More details to follow. Leave your email addy for me in the comments and I'll update y'all.

Peace Out.

Purposeburg Commercial

2008-12-21T23:03:00.004-05:00

Purposeburg is the children's ministry at International Christian Center. Their goal is to minister and teach the children, not just babysit them during the service.

In February, they are launching a new program. ICC came to International Media Group for us to build a campaign around the tagline they wanted to use 'Experience the WOW'

This is the first in a series of 8 commercials where the concept is that each person in the commercial is 'packing something in the box' to send to the next generation. They are going to encompass different generations, cultures, genders...in a way a mini-testimonial, but something that influenced their lives that they are passing on to the next generation (that's why it's getting boxed up and shipped to Purposeburg).

The first one is from the viewpoint of a doctor. Upcoming commercials will have a teacher, lawyer artist, musician, athlete, filmmaker, stay-at-home mom. Each one will air weekly with a specially packaged DVD at the end of the series.

I'm really excited about the series and really happy with how this one turned out.

Tis the Season (take 2.9)

2008-12-18T21:41:00.003-05:00

I just haven't had that much to say lately (a recurring opening, I suppose). I am still getting the hang of using the new netbook. Oh. I guess that's news, huh? I got this-Samsung NC10. The reasons are myriad, but the main rationalization is that my previous laptop (an Averatec 6210x60 which I had bumped up to 2GB of RAM from when I was still using it to edit video) was just getting under-utilized. The majority of my laptop work as of late has been to type, keep notes at the various meetings I'm going to (with greater frequency, it seems), and surfing the web to chat, check email, etc. Meanwhile Nancy was trying to remote in to her office and work on Sharepoint sites and other work on a POS Dell P3 900MHz. It seemed a little cheezy to me. So, I did my research...headed to MicroCenter, played around with a few of them. Settled on the MSI Wind and then wound up not getting it because of a glitch in the matrix. But that worked out for the best. I went back and started reading reviews. And while people liked the MSI Wind, they LOVED the Samsung. Saying the keyboard was bigger, the finish was 'more professional' and the battery life was phenomenal (6+ hours on a full charge). That sold me. I ordered it from Amazon. Had it in 2 days. Dropped an extra GB of RAM in there and away I went. That was last week.

And I'm still digging it. The size, the specs, everything I want a laptop for it does...and more. And Nancy has a better laptop to do her stuff on. So, I think it's win-win. And that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

In other news, we're heading out to Maryland next week to see Nancy's dad and his wife and spend Christmas out there with them (And her sister's coming out, too). It's gonna be the first Christmas I haven't had at home for....my life, I guess. And it's the first Christmas Nancy's had with her dad in a long long time. It should be a good time. I'm actually looking forward to it.

And, my family is having Christmas Eve on Monday (we fly out to Maryland Tuesday), so we still get to spend time with them, which will be nice.

Work is fine. Survived the first round of...um...making changes in response to the economy (?)...we're told that the current crew is the one that's going to take us through 2009. It's tough, more work, blah, blah..but it's not as much work as starting over somewhere else.

Things at ICC (International Christian Center) are HOPPING. The Video/Multimedia Ministry is gaining momentum and 2009 is going to be a VERY busy year. As the head of the ministry, I had to submit a budget this year. That was a weird (and very grown-up) thing for me. We also had our first of the quarterly 'large-group training' sessions to get people up to speed on the goals and visions of the church, our ministry and our team. It went REALLY well. Turnout was lower than we'd hoped for, but I think the people that came really got a lot out of it-which was a blessing in itself.

Did I mention the netbook has a built-in webcam? Yeah. I know. Scares me too.

Alright. I'm gonna work on some other writing before crapping out for the night.
Talk to you peeps later.

-AT

For Darrin

2008-12-13T16:00:00.002-05:00

Here it is.
You can pink this monstrosity up at your local Marc's in either pink or lavendar.

enjoy.

Big Steaming Piles of Poo

2008-12-07T22:24:00.002-05:00

This has been quite an interesting weekend. I don't remember much about Friday night. I think there was a trip to Bob Evans for dinner. Some minor shopping but beyond that not much going on. Other than the CAHRAZY pink trees at Marc's (I might post a picture later).

Saturday the snow came. And no, it wasn't a blizzard (but you wouldn't have known by the way people were driving around on the freeway).

Nancy was under the weather, so our plans for holiday shopping while the kids were with their other parents got tabled. We did need groceries, though. So Nancy made the list, I grabbed the list, my keys, and the last shred of my will to live and ventured out in to the idiocy that is ohio traffic during a snowfall.

It was my plan to head over to MicroCenter first (for the goodies) and then to Aldi (for the groceries).

Which leads me to the first of the big steaming piles. I went to MicroCenter to use the 'holiday check' that CrapitalOne had sent me (basically a way to spend a chunk of 'credit' at a greatly reduced rate). I had planned on getting a netbook (basically I had wanted to reduce the footprint of the notebook I've been carrying around to all these meetings I'm finding myself in these days (both at work and at church)-then Nancy would get my current notebook (since she's been doing more work from home with the Sharepoint stuff)). It was a great plan. I had everything in the cart and after some minor piles of steaming poo at the checkout, the big one dropped. The check clearinghouse that MicroCenter uses decided that the CrapitalOne check was 'not part of their normal check profile' so they declined it. So I left everything on the counter and walked out of the store. That, coupled with the CAHRAP customer service I'd gotten during the trip have pretty much ensured that I'll be doing my microCenter shopping online.

The second pile of poo was the traffic. Look. I know it's slippery (sort of), but it's NOT a blizzard. These are snow FLURRIES. People were causing more danger to themselves and others by being overly cautious. But, whatever.

Saturday night was uneventful. I had a MONSTER bologna sandwich so that was good.

This morning was interesting at church. It was interesting because I was thrown in to running sound for the second service until the backup sound person showed up (which had some inherent challenges). And then because we were short of camera people, I wound up running a camera (it's VERY hard to have a director/producer/edtior behind a camera taking direction from another director :-)

The best part was the message was about Jesus washing the disciples' feet and explaining that the way to greatness was to serve. It was like I was getting my own tailor made, real-life example of the message coming to life.

I love it when the Lord decides to hit me right between the eyes with the message :-)

So, I can't really call that a steaming pile of poo (I'm pretty sure that's not biblically sound).

But then I read Darrin's BRILLIANT POST about Axl's release of Crapnese Democrapcy. Go read it now. The album is a big steaming pile of poo (Darrin's post, however, is not).

And that's about all I got. I don't really know where to go with this post now, I'm a little flushed.

l8r.

What the???

2008-12-02T08:49:00.003-05:00

OK. This makes me chuckle:
____________________________________________________________________
Dear Fellow Blogger,

It is my distinct pleasure, as the president of Americans for Limited Government, to invite you today to become a key member of the exciting new conservative “bloggers central,” NetRightNation.com.

At ALG, we recognize the critical role you as a blogger play in gathering, assimilating, and disseminating news and commentary. And I, personally, am deeply grateful to you for taking the lead in fighting some of the most important battles our country has faced over the past decade, and more.

That's why I am so pleased to announce that NetRightNation.com is providing bloggers like you, the mainstream media, politicians, and other opinion leaders free, instant access to nearly 60,000 conservative blogs nationwide. And counting.

As a complete service bureau, NRN provides you a wide new array of blogger opportunities. As a featured blogger on NRN, you will be able to post your own blogs and interface with other like-minded bloggers nationwide. You will soon be able to “claim” your blog and customize your blog profile.

Information on NRN – blogs, as well as Twitter feeds -- will be divided by state, as well as by issue, to make it easy for you and others to access. NRN will also include a sophisticated search engine function and will soon have the capability for you to subscribe to customized email blog feeds on your topics of choice. Stay tuned, for these features will soon be online!

And all of that is just the beginning. In fact, I have asked ALG's Director of New Media, Adam Bitely, to follow up on this note with a letter of his own providing you the exciting details on how NRN can help you grow your own blog.

Above all, we want to make sure NRN is all that you, an important member of the conservative blogosphere, want it to be. So, as you visit NetRightNation.com, I urge you to please give us your input on how to make it the valuable asset we are committed to providing, at absolutely no charge.

Thank you for all that you are doing. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Bill Wilson
President, Americans for Limited Government
###

Americans for Limited Government is a non- partisan, nationwide network committed to advancing free market reforms,private property rights and core American liberties. For more information on ALG please call us at 703-383-0880 or visit our website at www.GetLiberty.org.
____________________________________________________________________

This has to be a joke, right? It's like the interweb version of getting 'punk'd'...right? Because anyone who knows me knows that I am CLEARLY not a conservative. And by no stretch would my blog be considered part of the 'consertative blogosphere.'

It's probably the same person that put my name on the GOP's mailing list (dude...that isht was not cool...especially during the month of October).

Alright. That's all I got. I just had to share...because that made me laugh....outloud...now I gotta go clean up the powdered donuts that I spit out from laughing.

December Events at ICC

2008-11-30T02:20:00.003-05:00

I don't know why I rack my brain trying to be 'clever' with these things. Sometimes simple and understated is the way to go.

Here's the video announcement for events@ International Christian Center (ICC).
It can be played between services, it can be played with or without sound.

Simple.

A tad boring perhaps, but it serves its purpose.

Stuff and all that

2008-11-29T23:41:00.002-05:00

It'd be silly to say that there's not a lot going on. There is. I just don't find myself posting on ye olde blogge much these days. I blame Facebook for that to some extent. There's a slew of old friends (but not all of them , ahem ahem) on there and it's just easy to put a status on there and have a 'conversation' of sorts on there. So, that's one reason why I don't blog as much anymore.

That and I've been really frickin' busy. The video work that I'm doing with ICC/IMG is taking a lot of 'spare' time. To the tune of 10-20hours/week. And that's cool. I have to look at it as essentially a startup company where we have to bust our butts to get things rolling.

Work (my job that actually pays the bills) has been crazy, too. Things got a little difficult there. So we're all strapping ourselves in and getting ready to ride this wild economy out through 2009.

Things at home are good. Jen's still doing really well in HS. And Tommy's doing well in middle school. We're in-between sports (which is good for now) so that means more xbox playing (and less time to myself around the house...which is neither good nor bad, it just is).

I think a third reason that I don't post as much is because I don't really feel like anyone gives a rip if I put a new exhaust fan in the downstairs bathroom (well, I know my family is happy about THAT) or if I hung one of those automatic air freshener things. I don't have anything profound to say on these pages and I feel like if you're going to take the time to read them, I ought to at least make it somewhat interesting.

But, yeah. That's all I got for now.
Seriously, go sign up on Facebook. I'm all kinds of funny over there.

later. Back to the editing.

Iron Chef @ ICC

2008-11-22T23:30:00.003-05:00

I just finished the commercial for ICC's International Chef Event. It was fun, and it cracked me up. Hope it does the same for the people who see it tomorrow.

I found a site that has all of the original broadcastings of the Japanese versions without dubs or subs. So I was pretty stoked.

Enjoy.

First Snow '08

2008-11-18T08:03:00.002-05:00

Well, there wasn't a TON of snow or anything. But the dusting we got on Monday (which started Sunday night) did wind up sticking through the night. So I officially counted it as our first snowfall (we had flurries a few weeks ago, but they didn't stay on the ground). Here's a few pix.

The supposed end of Grilling Season (you know, it's sad, but I didn't grill ONE single time this summer. WTF is wrong with me???) I'm gonna have to grill on my birthday, I think. Yeah. Birthday steaks on the grill. Sounds like a plan.
Snow falling through the trees. I love shots like this. I'm sure I'll get more of them as the winter goes on. Snow is much easier to photograph at night, too (in case you've ever wondered).

Snow on my deck. I hate snow on my deck.

More snow. If it doesn't melt today I'm gonna have to brush or shovel the snow off my deck.

A shot out my front door. I love our little pine tree. When we first moved in, it was all lookin' like the Charlie Brown Pine Tree. Now it looks like a proper little tree.

And that's it for the first snowfall. I would take pictures of a snowman, but at 12:30 AM when I took these, I really wasn't up for building one. Maybe next time. :-)

Today Was a Good Day

2008-11-15T23:15:00.005-05:00

In the immortal words of Ice Cube (whom I used to think was Ice Q for some reason), "today was a good day."

I stayed up until well past midnight last night. The five hours previous were taken up by an IMG meeting. Which was cool. But I was tired after that (and pretty much after the previous week, period). So instead of typing out and sending the meeting minutes as soon as I got home, I crashed.

Got up at 8 to let J- in (she'd slept over at a friends). She promptly went to bed. I went back to bed for about an hour. Then got up to get ready to start the Awesome Day!

Got ready, threw some juice in the ride (I got front an' back and side to side) and headed over to the Haimeral (sic) Center for the RECORD SHOW!!!

Now, it's been a good....oh....4 years since I've been to a record show I'd guess. Last time it was at Vets Memorial (and it pretty much blew). So I was jazzed to meet up with Ian and Darrin at the record show. Darrin had the mission of not spending anything. I wasn't sure what Ian's mission was, but I went armed with $50 and a dream. A dream of "Wish You Were Here" on blue vinyl (which I would not have been able to purchase for $50 if the DID have it, but that's harshing the dream, now, isn't it?)

I have to say, it looked and smelled pretty much like I remembered it. I circled the center a few times and was thinking that I wasn't going home with anything but a test pressing of Mother Love Bone's "Shangri-La." I made one more pass.

By the time I left I was $33 lighter ($4 for the get-in-fee, $29 on rekkids). And this is the booty of the day:

I got this for no other reason than it will make good sample fodder (since I'm slowing working my way back into Acid Jams).

Dude. He just looks like a bad-ass.

This is gonna sound like bullsh*t, but I got this because it has the saddest song of all time on it. Red Sovine's "Teddy Bear." If that doesn't make you weepy, you have no heart. Oh, and the cover on this one ain't bad, either.

Around the world...in stereo? I have NO idea what this is going to be like, but based on the title, I'd say it's gonna be...in stereo.

Oyo Como Va...Churrizos...Oyo Como Va...Salaad. Santana rocks. Period.

This one is still sealed!!! I don't know if I want to be the one to break the seals. Didn't something bad happen to Demi Moore when the last seal was broken?

Ahhh. Gotta love the Catholics. They even throw some guilt on their rekkids!

I have to say that I've liked English Beat ever since 10 years after I first saw Ferris Bueller's Day Off and figured out that they were the ones that did "Mirror in the Bathroom" (the song that plays when he's racing Jeanie home). Same thing goes for Yello.

Evis Costello. Last Year's Model. Enough said.

The only other Ministry I had was "Jesus Built My Hot Rod" and I dug that. So, I figured this one had a shot. And pensive chicks sell records.

"That's the original 1988 pressing of Blue Monday!"-Shaun

It's no "Dream Police," but then again...what is?

Ian commented that he's surprised I didn't already have this. And he may be right. I do have something like this, but it's a different publiser. And this one has a book! Books r gude.
I said I got this for Nancy, but after finding out that she only likes about half of the songs on it, I'll own up and say I got it for me. I loves me some live "Thunder Road" and "The River."
And that's about all I got from the Record Show.

From there we hit "Gyro Express" which I'm pretty sure is a front for something far more nefarious than titzeekie sauce (I had to go phoenetic sice I didn't feel like googling it) and pitas. We killed (no joke) probably about 90 minutes there. Catching up. Making fun of metal demigods from the 80's. And I even won the 'LA Metal Scene Pop Quiz' with my answer of "Hollywood Roses." Circle takes a square, thankyouverymuch. The things you learn from books.

And from there I headed home. As did Darrin. I don't know if Ian heeded the siren song of Guitar Center or went back to play the last Ride album and the french chick CD for K.

I got about 20 minutes of chill-time. Then Donovan came over in need of some track mixing and editing for the performance he was giving in 3 hours. So after some slicing and dicing, I sent him on his way. I hit the throne and then hit the road for the Expo.

The Gospel Expo was not what I expected at all. There were parts that were cool, and there were definitely some WTF moments. But the spoken word stuff that Donovan threw down was do-o-o-hope! I video'd with 2 cameras, so hopefully I'll do it justice with the vids.

And with that, I'm throwing the load from the washer in to th dryer and hitting the sack.

Peace out y'all.

Social Networks??

2008-11-10T10:44:00.001-05:00

It's no secret that I'm into blogging. Or online journaling (whatever you want to call it these days). At one point in time I had about 7 separate and distinct blogs for various things. Some I posted to daily, some monthly, some yearly (SideOne, TrackOne, anyone?).

I think what I liked about blogging (and still somewhat dig) is the interaction. It was cool to post some piece of a thought or shite that was happening in my life and get feedback, comments, etc. from people across town and across the country. It was a way to feel connected. And it was a way to be lazy. If you wanted to find out what was going on in my life, all you had to do was check my LiveJournal page, or check my blog. It saved time from actually having to make an active effort to keep in touch with someone. If you didnt' read the blog, I could assume you didn't want to keep in touch, so screw ya. Now, admittedly, that's a skewed viewpoint as there were people that I might want to keep in touch with that wouldn't read the blog (or even know about it, or care). So, yeah. It was part laziness, part obssession with electronic validation and part geekery (and all parts were NOT equal, still aren't).

And then came Facebook. And shit....it's fun! It's a way to keep in touch with people...send updates, see at a glance what's going on in peoples lives (that they can tell you in 255 characters or less), upload photos and load all of these little annoying apps designed to suck time in ways heretofore unknown to modern man.

I figure that there are different levels. It's like if online services were drugs, Facebook would be the crack or crystal meth of the social networking.

Blogging is like Caffeinne. Addicting, but mostly harmless. Fun for all ages.

LinkedIn and Plaxo is the Wine. Mostly for adults and business men.

MySpace is the cigarette of the online world. Supposed to be for 18 & up....all the cool kids are doing it and the ones that aren't just really don't get why the ones that are actually do. And it's the gateway. All of the behaviors of the big boy social networks can be learned from MySpace.

and then you jump to Facebook. And it's crack. Pure and simple. You COULD try it once or twice and never go back, but chances are, by that third time-you're hooked. And suddenly updating your status takes precedent. Checking on others becomes important. Trying to get others the share in your addiction jumps up on the list of things that occupy your day.

And now Social Networking hits its ultimate irony...a tool meant to make socializing and keeping in touch easier actually serves to keep you in front of your computer. You're 'socializing' in the loosest sense. You're checking the Facebook status of someone that lives down the street instead of actually popping over for a cold one on a Saturday afternoon.

And I'm in no way condemning you. I'm in the same boat. I check it because it's fun.

And of course, because it's mostly harmless.

Mostly.